Anyone Else But You
by Wilb
Summary: Elena has worked for Damon for five years, they complete each other in ways no one else can. But will either of them be brave enough to fight for the love they deserve? AH/AU
1. Chapter 1

**_It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together … and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her_**. -**Sleepless In Seattle**

* * *

I never planned on becoming Damon Salvatore's personal assistant. It's not like I woke up one morning thinking _Hey, I know what sounds like fun, I want to follow that multi-billionaire who's in the tabloids every other week around for the next five years. _But that's exactly what I ended up doing, I just sorta fell into it.

We met in the most ridiculous meet cute way, and if it had been a scene in a major motion picture I probably would of ended up with the husband and the white picket fence at the end of the movie, instead I ended up with the best and worst job of my entire career history. I became a PA to feasibly the most gifted CEO of my generation. Well, the job title says PA, in reality I was a laundry list of things for him; secretary, cook, first aid, counselor, mind reader, mother, sister, confidante but never ever _ever _something remotely romantic. Until one day everything changed.

And it all started with a glass of red wine.

* * *

"Seriously?" I mutter, as yet again another yellow cab whips past me splashing my ankles with stagnant rain water in the process. I'm a fresh out of college transplant from Virginia and I still haven't mastered the whole hailing a cab thing the native New Yorkers have down to a tee.

I've been at my new job for exactly two weeks, my first real job thats not slinging pizza slices, and I'm already late to the mandatory soiree they're holding tonight. The head of the company is coming down to say hello to all us little people and I guess we're all expected to be there to line up and kiss his hand or something.

After I spit out every curse word under the sun, one of the cab drivers finally takes pity on the girl who looks like a drowned rat and stops for me. After I get in I watch as the neon lights flash by, blurring into one long snake of illumination, and yet again I'm struck with how much bigger than me this all is. I'm nothing but a speck in New York, and I'm already pretty convinced I'm going to be eaten alive out here.

When we pull up to the Salvatore Corp. building with it's grandiose Art Deco facade I quickly pay the fare, never quite knowing how much to tip and step out onto the sidewalk. The lobby is deserted and I stand there for a moment dripping puddles onto the immaculate jade marbled flooring, still too new to find my bearings instantly. I locate the coat check and wring out my hair as much as possible, feeling like a human sponge, before I progress to the second floor.

The scalloped light sconces have been dimmed causing the room to be bathed in a soft golden glow, transforming the area completely from what I was used to during the day. Instead of harried work colleagues running around, waiters had taken their places smoothly slipping to and from the small groups of people that had formed, holding their serving trays aloft. The front wall is all glass from celling to floor, showcasing the twinkling New York skyline, the Empire State Building providing the main focal point in the vista. I'm transfixed for a moment by the sharp pinpoints of lights contrasted against the black of the night before shaking my head and swiping a glass of wine from a passing tray, holding onto the stem tightly as a means to ground myself.

My first order of business is to find Caroline in the melee. Caroline Forbes was my first and so far only friend in this city, she started work here the same day I did and after finding out we were both from similar small town backgrounds we have been joined at the hip. We're like the blind leading the blind though, one day we tried to find our way to the Statue of Liberty and ended up getting lost on the subway system for over five hours.

On the surface she's a typical effervescent blonde, who comes across as a little ditzy and maybe even slightly shallow. Take the time to dig under the miles of blonde curls and pink lipgloss however and you come to realize she's got a razor sharp mind and is sweet and loyal as the day is long. And she will definitely be my anchor to get through tonight.

I start to walk over when I think I catch a glimpse of her on the other side of the room and with my usual grace I plow into the chest of the first person who moves in front of me. With growing horror in the pit of my stomach I watch in slow motion as the crimson red wine from my glass overflows all over the man's pristine ivory dress shirt. The claret spill blooms and spreads like blood and I cringe as I raise my head to meet my victim's stare. The most flawless, clear blue eyes are looking back at me and the pleasant wooziness I start to feel has absolutely nothing to do with alcohol.

"I am so, so sorry" I profess, mortified to the roots of my hair. The man steps back and I can now see his eyes, stunning as they are, do not do the rest of him justice. His ruffled onyx hair provides the perfect contradiction to his alabaster skin and the smirk he is currently shooting my way is positively sinful.

"I wouldn't worry about it, I'm used to women losing their motor skills in my presence" He assures, cocky as hell. He holds the damp ruined part of his shirt away from his skin with two fingers.

I suppress an eye roll and smile tightly back at him. He may look like he walked off the cover of a magazine but I'm just not the type of girl to fawn over male model characters who think smarminess is the way into any women's panties. My estimation of him plummets, I gather he's probably a middle management type at the company, kept on the payroll to seduce the female clients into signing a contract with us.

With a confident move he's probably performed a thousand times before he takes my hand and kisses it. "No harm done" he declares and then he disappears again. I'm left standing with my drink dripping over my hand and mulling over what just occurred.

Caroline bounds up from behind me and I regale her with the whole embarrassing tale, once she hears how attractive the guy was she begins to search out the crowd for him like a sniper picking out it's prey. The girl is on a mission so I leave her to it while I go to freshen up my make-up. I swerve the nearest bathroom knowing it'll be jam-packed and venture further down the hallway to the executive one, figuring no one will be around to stop me from using it.

As I enter I see the man I just dive bombed with alcohol leaning over the sink, topless and scrubbing furiously at the stain on his shirt with a bar of soap and hot water. I have to force myself to drag my eyes away from the expanse of his back which is rippling with knotted muscles and I feel a acute sting of guilt at what I did to him.

"You're just going to imbed the stain more" I inform as I take pity and gently remove the shirt from under his hands. I hold it up to the light trying to get a read on how bad the discoloration is.

"Fuck" He curses violently. "My assistant left to have a baby last week and I've been helpless ever since. She's always the one that knew how to fix this shit".

I suddenly notice the shine of vulnerability in his eyes that definitely hadn't been there before and the guilt I'm feeling ratchets up to a new level, he's probably terrified he's going to get fired or something with the CEO making an appearance tonight.

"Wait here" I instruct as I rush back to the main party and grab the items I need. I return and pour some club soda and table salt on the stain and rub at it until it begins to fade away, and then utter relief as it fully goes. I hand it back to him and he looks at me impressed.

"Thanks" He beams as he holds the top under the hand dryer, waiting for it to dry. "What's your name? I don't think I've seen you around before"

"I'm new but it's Elena. Elena Gilbert" I see him silently repeat the name back to himself like he's committing it to memory. "And yours? I haven't seen you around either. Do you work up on the marketing floor?"

Sheer amusement spreads across his face as he digests my words, and I'm left feeling like I'm missing a huge private joke. As he slips his shirt and tie back on he answers smugly. "Just some guy, that's all. Just some guy".

He leaves me standing alone yet again, and suddenly I'm feeling very sorry that I lifted a finger to help him at all.

Caroline and I spend the majority of the evening gorging ourselves on tiny canapes and wrapped olives when all I really want is a fat greasy burger. Finally, the man of the hour decides to grace us with his presence and we're all herded to stand before a raised make-shift stage. Caroline starts to bounce from one foot to the other and I lazily stare around the room, yawning and waiting for the speech to start.

I hear a finger tapping on the microphone and a short balding man I recognize as one of the members of the board introduces "our illustrious leader" and out walks my boss's, boss's boss. None other then Mr. Red Wine. The man who I had the nerve to ask if he was in marketing, does in fact own the whole fucking company. I start to get a little light headed and try to discreetly wave my hands around to get Caroline's attention as he starts speaking.

She looks at me and I point at him and then mime spilling a glass over him. Her eye grow wide as what I'm trying confess hits her and right as I'm pulling a ridiculous face I realize the whole room has grown silent and has turned to face me, mid imitation and _he_ is looking at me perfectly politely waiting for my attention.

"If Miss. Gilbert has quite finished with her energetic retelling I would like to continue if that's acceptable to her" He announces, clearly and succinctly to the whole entire room.

I'm calling him every bad word my parents never let me use in my head as I nod and blush all the way down to my toe nails. And then as if someone pushed a button everyone once again turns back around and focuses on him as he finishes and promises us all another profitable year.

Isabelle Fleming, one of the women who works in a cubicle next to mine is already talking to Caroline as I sidle up. Isabelle has a few years on us at the company and she seems to take this as carte blanche to demean us anyway she can, she's one of the snidest people i've ever had the displeasure of meeting.

"So Damon Salvatore knows you by name, you must feel special" She drones at me, probably peeing her pants in happiness at the humiliation he just caused at my expense.

"We met..briefly" I deflect, trying to count down the seconds until I can go home, dive under my covers and pretend the whole night never happened. After prattling away for ten minutes Isabelle finally leaves us alone to annoy some other poor soul and I'm finally free to talk to Caroline.

"You had no idea who he was?" Caroline questions, looking shocked.

"Nada, I was expecting some decrepit old man to be our CEO. He's what? In his late 20's?" I took the first job that was offered to me in New York and now I was paying the price for not finding out the history of the company or of a Mr. Damon Salvatore.

Caroline shrugs "I think he was some sort of child prodigy or whatever. He inherited the company when his dad died a couple of years ago. I mean I don't know much about him but I know his name and face. He's always in the papers...for varying reasons"

"Oh" I responded dumbly.

"Yeah, Isabelle said he was featured in this week's Time magazine, he's like unbeatable or something"

_Except for when he needs to wash his own clothes_ I think vindictively to myself. On the way home against my better judgement I dip into a open all hours news vendor and pick up a copy of Time magazine. After all, if I want to succeed at my job I should probably learn some of it's past.

I flip through the magazine under my covers with a flashlight, like I used to do when I was twelve and read Cosmo without my parent's permission to find out all about boys. Except this time I was finding out about one very specific boy and I couldn't shake the feeling I was doing something wrong.

I deliberately skip past his photo spread and start studying the word heavy article. It starts by repeating basically what Caroline had told me earlier, he was a exceptionally intelligent child who excelled at whatever he put his mind to. Graduated with a doctorate from Harvard and then took over the now infamous advertisement company when his father passed away. I start to skim when the article starts just repeating words like mogul and tycoon to describe him and find myself drawn to the last paragraph which briefly touches on his private life. He has a younger brother- no name given, is very close friends with his attorney by the name of Alaric Salztman and is allegedly single. It finishes by making a witty comment about Damon's work dedication and impeccable reputation despite his womanizing ways. I roll my eyes, _womanizing way_s- color me shocked.

I wake up the next morning groggy and with the magazine sprawled open across my face, obviously having fallen asleep during a re-read. Wanting to make a good impression after the debacle of last night I take a quick steaming shower, pull on a blouse, pencil skirt with nude stilettos and arrive early at my cubicle.

I'm pretty low on the food chain here, a paper pusher for lack of a better word and as usual I find myself distractedly spinning on my chair and gnawing on my pencil as I wait for the lunch hour to come. The phone on my desk, which literally hasn't made so much as a peep since I started working here abruptly comes to life, shrilly cutting through my daydreams and almost making me fall off my chair.

"Hello, Elena speaking" I tentatively answer.

"Please hold for Mr. Salvatore" A cool, pleasant female voice comes through the line. I start to panic, surely he's not going to be petty enough to punish me for the incident. I idly wonder if he had told my superior about the events of the previous night.

Before I have time to deliberate further his already familiar velvety graveled voice starts to drawl. "Miss. Gilbert, I trust you made it home safely last night"

I grind my teeth before replying, I can hear the smirk stretching across his face as clearly as if I could see it if he was sitting in front of me. "I did thank you Mr. Salvatore" I state, snippier then I perhaps should have considering he can kick my ass out onto the street on a whim.

"Please clear your lunch hour today for a meeting with me, I would like to discuss some things with you" It's more of an order then a request.

My mouth dries, what possibly could he want with an insignificant employee barely on his radar? I can't help but ask "Lunch hour today, why?".

"Just make sure you're there. Probably should take more than an hour off too, it may overrun"

"I don't know if I can take the time off, I have a lot of work to complete" I say as I look at my wire inbox, which is mockingly empty, forgetting for a second who I'm talking to.

He laughs "I'm pretty sure your boss will be okay with it"

I flush, of course my boss would be okay with me staying out late for lunch if the order came from _their _boss. "Alright" I agree meekly.

"Mary-Ann will give you the details". And then the line clicks and his perky secretary is back on giving me directions and the name of the restaurant we're supposed to meet at. I recognize the name, it's the kind of restaurant you have to be on the waiting list months to get reservations.

I spend the next hour hiding in Caroline's cubicle talking about why he possibly would take me out for lunch if he's just going to fire me. Caroline gloomily ponders if he gets his kicks by humiliating young girls at expensive restaurants, she's such a mood lifting person.

Dana, a nosy but nice enough girl sticks her head over the separator. "I'm surprised he's even still here today. He's usually jetting off to somewhere exotic, he never spends a lot of time actually in the building." Caroline studies my face for a minute then goes back to concentrating on painting her nails.

Finally the time comes and I swipe my pink lipstick across my lips and decide that's as good as it's going to get before walking down the sidewalk to the restaurant which is only seven buildings away. Just as I'm about to enter, palms sweating, this time it's my cell that starts to ring.

"Hello?"

Great, Mary-Ann sunshine is back. "Mr. Salvatore wished for me to inform you that he unfortunately can no longer make lunch but would like you to join him for drinks at the same place tonight"

Can you say power play? Waiting till the last second to let me know about the change in plans? For a brief moment I wonder if Damon arranged this from the get-go so we would always end up having to meet at night. I sigh and consider refusing, it would mean cutting into my own personal time but I acquiesce just to get it over with. I somehow know Damon would of gotten his way anyways. "Fine, i'll be here at 8:00"

I really shouldn't do it, but I do it anyways, I intentionally turn up twenty minutes late to the restaurant that night after deciding that Mr. Salvatore needs a small taste of his own medicine. It's a dangerous game but the little thrill I get when I see him already stoically waiting for me is worth it.

Without acknowledging my tardiness he rises and greets me and my nerves are back with a vengeance when I realize exactly who I'm about to spend my time with.

"What can I get you to drink?" The waitress directs her inquiry at me but doesn't take her eyes off Damon, I don't really blame her.

Flustered, I wave my hand towards Damon's glass tumbler "Whatever he's having". I catch Damon raising an eyebrow at me but he chooses not to elaborate.

I get the impression he wants me to break the silence first, so I do. "Just some guy huh? You could of filled me in before I made a total fool of myself"

"I didn't know if to believe you at first, not a lot of people don't recognize me" he chortles teasingly. "Though it soon became clear you were completely clueless about my identity"

"Well" I huff, cutting straight to the point "What is it that you wanted to talk to me about Mr. Salvatore?"

"I was impressed with the way you handled the situation last night. I want to offer you a trial run as my assistant. My PA"

"This is a job interview?" I question, astounded. All I did was clean a simple shirt for him, it's like housekeeping 101.

"If that's what you need to call it, I guess. You're very straight forward and breezy with me, Miss. Gilbert, It's refreshing. Not a lot of people interact with me the way you do"

I hadn't realized my inherent sassy attitude and aversion to authority figures was a positive thing. "But I already have a job"

"Is it your dream job?"

"I suppose not, but not many people get their dream job straight away do they?"

Grinning, he shrugs "I did. You can't tell me you actually like what you're doing right now."

"You don't even know me, I could be the worst PA in the history of PA's"

"I just have a feeling about you" he proclaims. "And as for not knowing you, that's what tonight is for"

As if on cue my drink is served. I take a careful sip of the caramel liquid and almost spit it straight back out onto the tablecloth. "How can you drink that, it's tastes like lighter fluid" I exclaim, revolted.

"_That _is 30 year old scotch Miss. Gilbert. It's an acquired taste"

"One I never hope to acquire" I mutter. "So, what does the 'most prolific young entrepreneur in the Big Apple today' want to know about me?" I realize my mistake when it's too late.

"I see you've been doing some research of your own. Quoted straight from the Time's article wasn't it?"

Of course the man knew each and every bit of press he received by word recognition. "Just doing my part in keeping my knowledge up to date"

"Mmmm hmmm, if that's what you need to tell yourself. So, tell me about you, what was your childhood like?"

I take another gulp of the abhorrent scotch because I need something to smooth the rough edges of the night down, the whole situation is mystifying. "There's not much to tell, I had the typical all-American apple pie lifestyle."

"Uh uh, you're not getting off that easy. You have a cheat sheet with me, it's all online. But you are a conundrum" he notes before leaning forward over the table and hitting me with an intense gaze. I suddenly realize partly why he's so successful, he has this way of making you feel like you're the most important thing in the room to him.

I relent and start to list the factoids of my fairly humdrum life so far. " I grew up in Mystic Falls, Virginia with my parents and younger brother, all of whom still live there. I got my degree in business at UVA and then I came out to New York, got a job and here I am having dinner with you".

"Why New York?' He questions with unnerving laser insight and perceptivity.

I take another bitter mouthful of my drink, this question always stings to answer. "I wanted to get out of Virginia, it was the first place my finger landed on the map".

Predicting what his next question will be I carry on before he can voice it. "I was a ballet dancer, I trained my whole life and got accepted into the Royal Ballet Company in London. About a week before I was due to leave I was doing a performance and fell in a weird way, shattering my right femur and the bones in my ankle. It healed okay enough, and I can still dance casually if I wanted but it becomes too painful to train any longer then for an hour so my dreams of going professional were well and truly out the window. So after college I wanted to leave all that behind"

Instead of the sickly look of pity I was expecting from him, he only shrugs and observes "At least you went out in a blaze of glory".

I suppose most people might of hated him for a callous remark like that, but for me I can pinpoint it as the exact second I decided I liked the guy. He was an optimist, in a dry, biting humor kind of way. The fact is, not becoming a dancer hadn't made me bitter or against the world and it was something I wasn't going to let stain my future. It was nice to meet someone who didn't treat me like I lost the only important chance I was ever going to get in my life. "That's one way of looking at it I guess".

The drinks came quicker, and I started to become numb to the the taste of them. We had soon progressed to first name basis, and I began to view Damon as a person, not just as a suit. He was wickedly funny and astute, liked to cut through all the bullshit and just say what was on his mind, and after the second hour I spent with him it didn't even enter my thoughts that I wasn't drinking with a old friend.

"No you ass, I will not do a ballet move in the middle of the restaurant for your amusement" I proclaimed, trying not to laugh at Damon's new request. The fact I just branded him an ass with no hesitation spoke volumes on how far our banter had actually advanced.

"So your brother, does he work at the company too?" I ask, switching topics.

Damon noticeably sobers and shakes his head. "No, haven't seen him for years to be honest"

I cross and recross my legs nervously, sensing I have hit a nerve. I'm reaching for something else to talk about when to my surprise he starts to explain.

"Can I trust you not to go running to The Enquirer tomorrow morning with the story?" He cautions, looking serious enough for me to sit up and pay attention.

I do the sign of the cross on my chest "Cross my heart and hope to die"

"My brother ran off with my fiancée four years ago, the socialite Katherine Pierce?"

I shake my head to indicate i've never heard of her and try to ignore the twist of compassion I sharply feel for him. "Wow, that sucks" I acknowledge lamely.

My sharp observation at least gets him to raise a smile. "Yeah, you could say that. Took a lot of lawsuits to keep that scandal from becoming public knowledge. And here I am spilling my guts to _you_"

"Must be something about my face" I joke. "You never thought about trying to get back in contact with him? Is it worth losing a brother over some girl?" The words have slipped out before I realize I just crossed a hell of a lot of lines. "Oh my god, that was beyond inappropriate of me, I'm sorry"

He waves his hand and laments "We've shared too many drinks to worry about being inappropriate. Don't get all weird around me now, it's been a long time since i've been able to have a frank conversation with someone"

I think about how everyone he comes in contact with must want something from him, and how empty a life like that must be, it makes me warm to him even more. After catching sight of the time on my cell I pull a face "I really should get home, it's getting late. I had fun tonight though". It seems we had both forgotten the actual reason for the meeting at this point.

"Yeah, so did I" He smirks and insists on paying the bill, helping me out of the door after I find out I'm a lot more drunker then I had previously fully appreciated.

We pause in the outside alley as his inhales on a cigarette and puffs the smoke back into the air. "So how about the job then? You'll get to see the world, it can be on a trial basis and if we decide it's not working out you can go back to your cubicle"

Why me? I want to ask, but to be truthful I don't even think he really knows. I've never been the spontaneous type but i've lost enough opportunities not to at least give this one a serious try. I find myself agreeing to his proposition without really even hearing what it fully entails. "I think you've plied me with enough booze to get me to say yes".

A real genuine smile spreads across his face and he nods once distinctly. "My first request of you as my assistant is to show me your ballet skills, just once" he pleads.

I smile and purse my lips but in my alcohol induced haze I rise to en pointe and perform a impeccable arabesque in that grey, dank alley, my right leg pointing to the sky.

We both dissolve into fits of laughter at the same time and he catches me in his arms as I move back down. I know what he's going to try before he even knows he going to try it, so as he leans in and searches my eyes I place a finger to his lips, pushing him gently back.

"Woah flyboy, if I'm going to be working for you, I won't have you regretting making drunken mistakes with me." I smile at him to let him know no offense is taken. I don't want to be treated like one of his conquests, i'd actually like to gain his respect and become a friend, and I know making out with him is not be the route to take, even if a tiny corner of my brain is screaming at me for rejecting him.

He grins surprised but unaffected, slings an arm around my shoulder as he steps on his cigarette and moves me towards the street. And just as I'm getting a strong whiff of his aftershave my stomach whirls and I remember why I have a strict self imposed 4 drink limit. I rip myself away from under his arm, barely having the time to yank my long brunette hair back from my face before I turn and empty all the contents of my stomach onto the gravel.

One time in first grade I peed my pants in front of the whole class, and this? This is about seven levels of hell above that. It comes to my attention that Damon has replaced my grip and is now holding my hair in a low ponytail and holding out a tissue for me. I dry retch once more, wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and accept the kleenex. "Thanks" I say, tartly as I can considering the man just watched me vomit.

"No problem" he declares. "Not everyone can hold their drink like me".

I bite my lip to stop myself from crying and I'm probably redder than a whore's lipstick. "Oh god, I'm sorry" I stutter, humiliated. "I totally understand if the job offer has been redacted"

He starts to howl laughing "Nah, we've both made fools of ourselves tonight, if anything it makes me like you more. You haven't really bonded with someone until you've watched the other person throw-up". His arm goes back around my shoulder "You start tomorrow, bring aspirin"

God, if I had only known what I was about to get myself in for.


	2. Chapter 2

_**I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you**_- **Dirty Dancing**

* * *

That trial period turned into five years in the blink of an eye, my cubicle a distant memory. Damon hadn't lied, I did get to see the world. I think I spent more time throughout my early twenties in airports and hotels then I did in my own apartment. My life became a high octane blur of parties and extravagance, I experienced things I would of never of gotten the chance to otherwise. Damon and I had connected in a way that only people who spend practically every waking second together can. I never once regretted accepting the job, I spent young adulthood the way it should be spent; no worries and never having to be tied down, my salary was also ludicrous. But I was getting to a point in my life where I was slowly realizing I had to consider settling down one day and creating my own story. Recently I couldn't shake the feeling I was living someone else's life on borrowed time. Damon and I were so fused together though, almost co-dependant and I couldn't begin to imagine how to extract myself.

I pushed open Damon's front door with my butt, my arms full of his dry cleaning and tried to repress another yawn from emerging. It was a Monday morning which meant there was a full week's schedule to go over.

Meandering down the split mahogany staircase came the familiar sight of one of Damon's flavors of the week, she was clothed in one of his shirts with a belt tied around the waist and was carrying her heels in one hand. Unsure, she paused and leant against the polished banister when she saw me, but it was such a typical, normal sight around here I automatically smiled pleasantly at her. It's not like any of us would see her ever again.

As she was sidling past me I caught sight of her bulging handbag and shook my head because I had witnessed this too many times before. It came with the territory though I suppose, if you were going to invite strangers into your house.

"If you just want to hand the stuff you stole back over without making a scene, we won't have to call the cops" I berated, calmly examining my nails waiting for her response.

She spun around eyes wide, her knuckles turning white as she clutched tighter onto her purse. "Excuse me? I have no idea-"

Why do they always insist on making a scene? "Hmm let's see, I'm going to guess you went for the miniature gold frog statue from the master bathroom and probably a pair of cufflinks?". I grinned widely "Did I get them right? I'm usually pretty good at this game".

Sheepishly she sighed and walked over pulling out the exact items I mentioned with a few pieces of cutlery on top. She slammed them down into my outstretched palm "Fine, here".

"Oh, going for the silverware as well. How original and innovative of you" I remarked, ushering her out of the door and slamming it shut behind her while ignoring her growing protests.

Dating was hard for both Damon and I. He never seemed to stick with a girl for more then a week, and I couldn't work out if it was because he just hadn't found the one yet or if he just wasn't a commitment type of guy anymore, by all accounts Katherine and Stefan had fucked him up pretty well in that department. And I'd had a few boyfriends over the last few years, always not working out because of the unpredictability of my job and most of them couldn't deal with the close relationship I had with my boss. Romance had never been on the cards for Damon and I though, the way we were now just worked for us. Sure, I noticed how mind numbingly attractive he was because no girl within a mile radius could _help_ but notice, but believe me, I've had to throw out enough one night stands the morning after to know I never want to to be in their place.

Next stop was the kitchen to pick up Damon's breakfast and have my daily conversation with the resident cook; Alberto. His cooking was exquisite but it was his warm, kind personality I found my self gravitating to. He had cooked for Giuseppe Salvatore his whole life and now for Damon, and he was a important piece of our dysfunctional family unit.

I kissed him quickly on the cheek and swung my legs up onto the countertop as I watched him toss and rattle the frying pan expertly. "What's on the menu today Bertie?"

He replied in his thick French accent "I've been reading all about this cholesterol in my magazines, it's bad no? So starting today Mr. Salvatore is going to have a better diet, we need to keep him fit and healthy".

"He's not going to like it"

He flipped the breakfast onto a china plate, adorned it with a sprig of parsley and handed it over to me. "Which is why it's better that it's coming from you then from me, ma chère". Then he pointed his spatula at me and ordered "You on the other hand need some fattening up, you come see me later about lunch"

I smiled and said "You're not going to hear any arguments from me about getting to eat your food". I could still hear him chuckling all the way up the stairs.

After placing the warm plate down on the bedside table I extended my right foot and jabbed at the lump under the covers twice with my toe. After no resulting movement, I reached up and grabbed the edge of the comforter and carefully pulled it down, whispering sweetly in Damon's ear "Time to wake up, it's 9:00".

He groaned and pulled the pillow over his head. "You can be as sweetness and light as you want, I'm not moving".

We went through the same routine every morning and it always ended up the same way. I grabbed the TV remote, switching the large flat screen on to ESPN, walked over to the curtains, ripped them open and took a running jump onto the bed, pummeling his body with my tiny fists. "Get up, get up, get up" I screeched.

Suddenly wide awake he dives from under the covers, catches me around my waist and flings me down next to him. And for a second his bleary blue eyes and sleep tousled black hair makes my heart skip a beat. Hey, I said that I was used to his looks, not that I was immune to them.

"Okay, okay you win" he whines, pushing himself up against his pillows.

"We had another Hamburglar on our hands this morning, can't you at least run a criminal check before you bring the strays home" I teased, situating myself so I was facing him, my feet stretched out next to his chest.

Laughing, he shrugged. "Eh, I can afford it. What's for breakfast?"

I wave the plate under his nose and make encouraging sounds. "Mmmm an egg-white omelette, looks so good".

He glares at me like I just told him I kicked his dog, I knew he was never going to buy it. I sigh and explain "Bertie is on another one of his health kicks".

Alberto reads his health magazines religiously and goes through phases of extreme healthy cooking, it's Damon's least favorite times of the year.

"Elena" He beseeches, almost pouting.

I crawl on my stomach and hang off the side of the bed pulling a box of Twinkies out from underneath. I've learnt to keep a small stash of junk food stocked around the house for occasions like this, otherwise i'll never hear the end of it. "If this get back to Bertie, i'll have to kill you" I warn, before throwing him the box and biting into my own Twinkie.

"When are you going to give in and let me marry you?" He jokes for the thousandth time, eyes sparkling.

I reply with the answer I always give. "You are so full of shit Salvatore". Something flickers across his face but it's gone before I have a chance to decipher what it means.

"Hey Elena?" Damon asks, chewing noisily. "Do you like seafood?"

"Don't do it Damon, I'm warning you"

'What? Do you like seafood? It's a simple enough question"

I shake my head, trying not to giggle and refuse to look at him. "You are a five year old chid, you know that? A five year old child."

He finishes his prank anyways not being able to resist grossing me out. "See food!" He exclaims gleefully, opening his mouth as wide as possible.

Damon Salvatore can be a menace in the boardroom, an intellectual when needed but he can always, always make me laugh.

I kick my foot into his side as I throw a pillow at his face and get up to grab my Blackberry. Scrolling the stylus against the screen, I list the appointments he has today. "Okay you have the meeting with the board this morning. Then you're on CNN for a brief interview. And after that we need to start finishing planning for the vacation you wanted to take to St. Barts next week."

"Oh right, just book our normal hotel. It's only going to be Alaric, a couple of work buddies and us."

I inwardly cringe, turn away from him and start picking up clothes from the floor to fold them. "Yeah about that, I think I'm going to miss this one out". I had previously decided not to go on the annual vacation this year, it was going to be my first move in taking a step back from everything. I wasn't even obligated to tag along as it was his personal vacation time but had always attended in the past.

"Wait, what? You're kidding right?" He laughs like he doesn't believe what I'm telling him.

I've moved on from folding his clothes and am now distractedly pairing his socks. Raising my eyes to the focus on the ceiling I try to keep my voice light " It's a guy's trip Damon, you don't want me there"

He takes hold of my wrists to stop me moving and to bring my attention to him. Smirking knowingly, he raises an eyebrow. "C'mon Elena, you know you want to come"

I despise it when he does that, when he tries to implement his charisma and charm to manipulate me into doing what he wants. It never sits right with me, it almost makes me feel used? I pull my hands away from his grip and fume "I don't want to go okay Damon? Please just let it be"

His face goes cold, and he declines into a rare pissed off mood. "Whatever"

I go back to work "The new Broadway show would like to know if you want free tickets and you got sent VIP seats for The Black Keys concert on Friday"

He stalks to his closet pulling out silk shirts at random, hangers falling to the ground. "No to Broadway, yes to the 'Keys"

I make a note on my cell and leave his bedroom, knowing my presence is not wanted right now.

The car ride over to the CNN studio is silent and tense as I casually flick through some paperwork that needs to be signed. I've learnt by now his bad moods are fleeting and it's best to let him work it out in his own head. It wasn't that I wasn't expecting a less then positive reaction to me turning down the vacation, but what I hadn't expected was for him to blow it out of proportion for the rest of the day. I start rapidly clicking the ball-point pen I was turning in my hands as he messes with the air conditioning vents, each of us knowing exactly how to needle the other.

There's a small assembly of press waiting outside the door of the broadcasting empire's headquarters and as soon as we jump out onto the street a barrage of flashbulbs goes off. Damon's hand finds mine intuitively as I bow my head and let him lead me through the huge glass sliding doors.

Bonnie Bennett, Damon's public relations manager comes flying down the hallway to greet us, her heels clacking on the granite. "Both of you sure do make my job difficult, you're going to_ keep_ getting dating rumors circling about you online if you_ keep_ insisting on holding hands when there are cameras around" she cautions, a half-smile playing across her lips.

"I don't give a shit what they say on online about us, Elena gets claustrophobic around the paparazzi and it's the quickest way to get us through the mob" Damon reasons as the three of us walk side by side, both me and Bonnie hurrying to keep up with Damon's long strides.

"You don't hold _my_ hand Mr. Salvatore" Bonnie teases, winking at me.

Damon turns to leer at Bonnie "If you want to hold my hand you just have to say so".

He stops in front of the door labeled studio C and I adjust his tie as Bonnie preps him. "I've already given them the list of topics that you've agreed to talk about and I mentioned that you specifically want to discuss the wildlife charity you're considering starting". She takes a brief pause from talking a mile a minute to hand him a typed upon sheet of paper. "Just run your eyes over this and try to remember some of the wording, it's some ready prepared answers".

He accepts the paper and skims it after he settles onto a chair. The make-up assistant fusses around getting him camera ready, Bonnie and I, who are no longer needed, find two seats in the back of the room and make ourselves scarce.

I am forever grateful for Bonnie Bennett, she's hired to to keep Damon relevant and at the forefront of the business world and to keep anything negative out of the press. Luckily, she's also sassy and smart, plus is one of the very few people who understands how to deal with Damon Salvatore. Consequently, we often find ourselves working closely together and have developed a warm friendship.

"He's not in the best of moods today" I whisper the warning across to her.

"Yeah I could tell. Did you buy him the wrong brand of cereal or something?" She jokes as she settles back to watch the interview play out in front of us.

"Something like that" I grin and we grow silent as the red 'on-air' light switches on and the camera crew maneuvers their heavy equipment to face the desk where Damon and his interviewer are now sitting. I've watched him be interviewed on television hundreds of times before and can almost mouth along with the predictable questions and answers that are given, so I pull out my cell and start trying to beat my high score on Angry Birds.

Around level three my attention is snapped instantly back into the room when I hear the question that has just been asked. "Mr. Salvatore, can you either confirm or deny that in the past you have found yourself in the uncomfortable position of having your ex-fiancée cheating on you with your younger brother?"

You can hear a pin drop and Bonnie stands, her face red. She's never lost control of an interview like this before. "_Shit_, this is live TV, we can't even get them to edit it out. How the hell did they unearth that bit of information?" She is already slamming out of the exit doors, probably to implement some damage control and to yell at the execs for letting their employee step so far out of line.

_That bitch _I seethe to myself, staring daggers across the room at the disdainful women who's waiting innocently for Damon's response to the question she had no permission to ask in the first place. See here's the thing, Damon and I drive each other crazy, he'll snap at me and I'll snap at him right back. But at the end of the day I love him like he's my family and I love who he is as a person, and nobody, especially not some jumped up news anchor gets to ambush him. He always protects me and I'll always protect him.

"No comment" he responds before I have chance to intervene. He says it with his legendary magnetic smile in place and he dances around the question so perfectly you wouldn't guess for a second that a raw nerve has been hit. The storm clouds building behind his eyes tell me a different story.

Finally, the interview draws to a close and his eyes dart around, his face calming when he catches sight of me standing resolute with my arms crossed.

"You look like you're going to knock her out" he drawls as we start walking back to the SUV, already loosening his tie and throwing his jacket over a shoulder.

"Don't tempt me, we're not out of the building yet." I chance a look his way, I'm not sure yet how this whole incident is going to manifest itself in him "You okay?"

"I don't know how they snuck the question in, but it's done now. Besides I have Elena Gilbert fighting my corner."

Damon may have more money then he knows what to do with, and he may be an insufferable ass but I know _him_. I've seen him vulnerable, I've seen his soul; which is raw but ultimately _good. _I've seen him in every way a person can be seen and I know all he needs is someone on his side and to be his friend.

"Yeah, yeah you do" I promise. When we click our seatbelts back in and get back onto the road I know we've silently resolved whatever spat we were having this morning.

"Are you still meeting Barbie for dinner?" he asks playing with the touch screen on the back of the seat in front and watching which way our driver is turning.

I've been put on hold on the call I'm making so I place my cell against my chest trying to muffle the awful elevator music thats leaking out of it. "I'm meeting _Caroline _for dinner, yes"

He smirks and rolls his eyes "Ha, you have fun with that".

Damon and Caroline have always rubbed each other the wrong way and they can't be in the same room for more than five minutes before one of them throws a sarcastic, biting remark towards the other. Secretly, I think Damon admires Caroline's spunk, but he'd rather die then admit it.

I physically restrain myself from sticking out my tongue at him "I will thank you". A voice comes back over the line putting the end to our discussion. "Yes, that's S-A-L-V-A-T-O-R-E" I repeat back.

Caroline left Salvatore Corp. before her first year there ended. It was never the right fit for her and she found a much more suited career in interior design. She's now recognized as one of the most requested designers in New York city. Wherever I travelled or however long it went between us seeing each other she always remained my touchstone with reality and is an integral part in keeping me sane.

After dinner as we stroll around Central Park enjoying our frozen yoghurt I tell Caroline about the vacation I'm not going on and the week I get free.

"What are you going to do with all that time off?" She inquires sliding the little plastic spoon back out of her mouth.

I shrug "I was thinking about visiting home, Jeremy is back from school and I haven't seen my family in a long time".

"I bet Damon had a shit fit"

"What makes you think that?"

"Because-"

Her answer gets cut off by the ringing of my phone, I glance at the screen "Speak of the devil". I flip the device open "Hey Damon"

"_Sorry wrong guy"_

"Alaric? What are you doing on Damon's phone?" Caroline and I exchange a confused glance.

"_Okay, I don't want you to freak out or anything but Damon has been arrested_"

His prior warning about not freaking out becomes moot "Damon's been _what_?" I screech. "What the hell for?"

"_We were out drinking and he got into it with some idiot over a stupid remark_".

I let out a derisive snort "So what you're trying to tell me is Damon got into a drunken bar fight. Alaric, he keeps you on retainer to be his lawyer not to be his drinking buddy". I'd trust Alaric with my life but Jesus Christ, when him and Damon are together and mixing with alcohol it usually spells trouble.

"_Yeah, well I'm at the jail now getting him out, looks like the other guy is not going to press charges. I'm talking them into letting him off with a warning. I was hoping you would come-"_

I interrupt because we both know that I was always going to come "Sure, I'm on my way".

Caroline looks at me knowingly as I hang up "You have a Damon thing to do don't you?". She holds out her hand to halt my apologies "It's fine, just make sure you call me before you go back to visit Virginia next week".

I hug her goodbye and on the drive over I swing from being pissed off at having to bail my boss out of jail at 11:00 at night to being worried sick. Alaric is waiting at the doors for me when I pull into a parking space and he clears his throat nervously as I walk up to him swinging my car keys on my finger. "I'm not your mother Alaric, don't look at like I'm about to scold you".

"I called Bonnie and she's going to do her spin magic and make sure this doesn't get out." He guides me into the entrance hall "They let him out on a warning with a fine, he's over there" Alaric motions with his chin towards a bench in the corner.

My heart sinks as I see Damon slumped with his head resting on his chest, his clothes stained with blood and God knows what else. I throw Alaric my keys and instruct "Go start the car, i've got him"

"Hey Rocky" I call as I lift his chin using the crook of my finger. I try not to panic when I see the black eye he's sporting, the rivulets of dried blood on his face and his spilt lip. "Not feeling too hot are you?"

"Gilbert!" he exclaims like I'm the best present he's ever received. "You should see the other guy"

"I think i've seen enough, but thanks buddy"

The sloppy smile he was wearing slips right off of his face "Are you mad at me?"

"No that can wait 'till tomorrow, let's get you home for now" I slide my arm around his waist and manage to shift the balance so I can support his weight. Two police officers watch us from the corner laughing as my 5"5 frame struggles with Damon out of the door. "Really guys, thanks so much for your help" I caustically snipe at them as we pass.

Alaric opens the back car door for me and I lay him down along the seats "No throwing up in my car Salvatore".

Driving back to Damon's doesn't take very long as the traffic is light and my mind is still occupied by digesting tonight's events. Damon never gets messy drunk like this, he can drink everyone I know under the table and if he does go over his limit he just gets kinda quiet and spacey, never violent.

We both drag him up the stairs to his bedroom and Alaric leaves to the kitchen to brew up a fresh batch of coffee. I make sure Damon is stable enough to sit up on his bed on his own accord then go off in search of a first-aid kit and some ice.

"Here hold this to your eye" I place an ice pack into his palm then guide his hand up to the plum colored bruising. I'm concentrating on treating his lip and wiping the dried blood away when he starts to speak.

"Elena?"

"Mmmm"

"Promise you're never going to leave me?" he rambles.

I drop the cotton swab I'm holding and look up at him in shock. "What are you talking about Damon? You're wasted" I try to keep my tone light but a ribbon of guilt wraps around my ribs.

"You're my girl, that's all I meant"

"Now you're just not making sense, I think it's time for you to get some sleep" I say kindly. He tries to mumble a reply but his eyes start drooping before he can finish and I pull the covers over him and turn out the light.

When I enter into the kitchen Alaric is leaning with his back to the counter and is studying the fruit bowl. "You going to stay the night Ric?"

"Yeah it's late and I'm still buzzed, you?"

I grab my coat and shake my head "Nope, i'll be back bright and early tomorrow morning though"

He walks me to the door and puts a hand on my shoulder as I turn to say goodbye. "Hey Elena? Damon was pretty messed up tonight"

"About that whole Stefan question? I didn't think he was going to react this badly to it"

He shoots me a sympathetic smile "You know for such a smart girl you can be pretty oblivious sometimes. It wasn't really anything to do with Stefan". He takes one look at my confused face and shakes his head "Never mind, get home safe okay?"

I nod, give him a brief hug and make my way back down the icy front steps. Now just what in the hell was that little cryptic message supposed to mean?


	3. Chapter 3

**_If you love someone, you say it, say it right then and there, out loud, otherwise the moment just passes you by._ - My Best Friend's Wedding**

* * *

Hangovers are never fun and Damon never wore them particularly well. The next morning I was perplexed to find his bed unoccupied, the covers twisted and coiled on the floor. His location was soon made obvious by the retching sounds echoing from his tiled bathroom. After waiting a few seconds I knocked and opened the door to be met with the sight of him covered with a patina of sweat and sat on the floor, his back sagging against the clawed porcelain bathtub.

Well this is just peachy.

"Elena, you don't have to see this" he insisted miserably as I calmly walked to the sink to wet a washcloth and fill a glass of water up.

"It's not the first time and it won't be the last" I empathized, handing him the items I had just collected. "Anyways, a wise man once told me that watching someone vomit is tantamount to a bonding experience".

He scraped together a flimsy grin and took a shaky sip of water "Where's Alaric? Thought he would of stayed the night. He better be feeling half as crappy as I am right now".

I sunk down to the floor and sat cross legged across from him. "He did stay the night" I admitted. "He also left this morning... which was four hours ago. We couldn't all wait around for Sleeping Beauty to wake up".

Alarmed, Damon frantically checked his watch and proclaimed 'Holy shit, why did you let me sleep until noon?".

"Because you didn't have a chance in hell of making it out of bed much less getting it together enough to work" I divulged as I took back his glass, refilled it and sat back down. "I rescheduled all your appointments today, you didn't miss anything necessary".

"Thanks for always holding my hot messes together" He said, looking at me apprehensively.

"What's the weird look for?".

He shifted and rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes "I'm waiting for the hammer to fall. Last time I had a hangover you woke me up by crashing pots and pans together in my face. Something tells me after getting into a bar fight I'm not going to get off much easier this time".

I had been turning the whole thing over in my head ad nauseam all night and had come to the conclusion that I wasn't his wife or girlfriend and had no right to chastise him for his actions, even if he did piss me off excessively by throwing himself into danger headfirst. Shaking my head I explained "I'm not mad Damon. I would like to know what caused everything to kick off?".

"Don't remember" he groaned. "Some jerk mouthing off".

I knew that face, it was the _I'm lying but nobody is going to know it _face. I hadn't spent all the time with him that I had to not realize when the man was spouting bullshit, but I let it drop. "How's the battle wounds doing today?" I questioned as I reached up and brushed my thumb against his black eye, which had now faded to a yellow and green hue.

"I'll survive" he shrugged and delicately caught my wrist, turning it over as he played with the bracelet resting on it. "You still wear this thing?".

I looked at the piece of jewelry surprised. I was so used to having it on I often forgot I was wearing it. "I never take it off".

_"Game on" I commanded to myself, armed with a duster and bleach, while obstinately stamping up the creaking, warped wooden steps to the attic. Once inside I tied a scarf around my head Rosie the Riveter style and tried not suffocate on the dust motes filling the air and dancing in the narrow beams of sunlight. The room had evidently not been touched or entered for years and the singular window had been boarded up with a few slats of wood nailed across. Using the back of a hammer I pried the planks away and pushed open the panes of glass, surprised by the little resistance they gave. Taking a deep breath of fresh air I turned to take the first cardboard box down from a towering pile and started to get to work._

_Minutes turned into hours as I slowly got lost into cleaning and delving into the Salvatore family history, it was only when Damon came searching for me that I realized I had missed dinner time and day had passed to night._

_"What are you doing up in this hell hole?" he inquired, resting against the door frame and eyeing me bewilderedly. "I've been looking for you"._

_I stepped down from the last rung of the ladder I was on and wiped a smudged hand across my perspiring forehead. "This was one of the first things you asked me to do; to sort out the attic. I never got around to it because we were barely ever home but it's been nearly a year since I started working for you so I figured it was time to complete it."_

_He moved further into the room and scrutinized the two separate distinct piles of boxes, nudging the closet one with the toe of his leather shoe. "What kind of junk did you find?"._

_Besides the few piles of mildewy phonebooks from the 80's and some broken pieces of furniture, what I had found was anything _but_ junk. The Salvatore family had preserved a rich legacy of artifacts and heirlooms spanning back many generations. I suppose as the oldest son Damon had inherited everything when his parents passed and then immediately stuffed them up in the attic ._

_"There wasn't really any junk. When you get the time there's some things you probably want to go through to see if you want to keep them, other than that everything is pretty much done"._

_Nodding, he flipped open the flaps of a box near to him. "Thanks, I don't think it's ever looked this good up here" he professed. Distracted by what he discovered in the box he knelt and pulled out a thick leather bound book. "Well I be damned , I haven't seen these since I was a kid"._

_Settling myself next to him on the floor I queried "What are they?"._

_"Photo albums starting from the year I was born. When Stefan and I were younger my mother had a camera permanently attached to her face" ._

_He flipped open to the first page and I grinned at the photograph set upon the yellowing sheet; a snapshot of Damon as a baby laughing in the bath and covered with white bubbles "Now this I have to see"._

_He took one look at my eager face lit up with amusement and caved. "Fine, but if you tell anyone about the photos of five year old me in a dress we're going to have issues"._

_I mimed sealing my lips and we went well into the night working our way through the boxes. After viewing all the photo albums, we looked at the bequeathed antiques from decades ago with Damon enthusiastically explaining each one's history to me. Eventually we had reached the final box and I couldn't help but notice his face fall imperceptibly as he pulled out a petite, exquisitely carved cedar box._

_"What is it?"_

_"My mother's jewelry box" he answered. "I thought my father got rid of it after she died"._

_"You were close with her" I stated. Over the one year I had known Damon we'd had many, many conversations, both work related and personal, but this was a moment he truly let me get a glimpse of the clandestine part of him he kept so closely guarded._

_"Yeah I was, I inherited her stubbornness and drive, aspects that my late father came to despise in me so much because it reminded him of her. He got really screwed up when she died". He opened the lid to reveal a plush velvet lining with several pieces of jewelry resting on it._

_Every response I thought of reeked of pity, something I knew he couldn't abide so I made do with simply resting my hand on his upper arm. A gesture I hoped he found somewhat comforting. _

_I watched as he dangled a dazzling emerald and gold bracelet from the end of one finger, the rays from the lamp above us refracting off of it's bejeweled incandescent surface. He flipped it over and read out the engraving "__Vous m'avez complètement changé." He began to translate "You have cha-"_

_"You have changed me forever" I finished automatically. "It's stunning"._

_"It's yours" he decided, reaching for my arm to fasten the bracelet around it._

_There was no way I could ever accept something like that from him, it was too precious, too sentimental. Something he could hand down to his future family. I drew my arm out of reach "No Damon, I couldn't. Really". I realized too late I had hurt him by refusing._

_"I would rather you wear it then it be up here collecting dust" he cajoled, looping the bracelet through his fingers. "You remind me of her sometimes you know? The way you move and the things you say"._

_Strangely honored, I felt my eyes prick. "I'm touched but-" I broke off as I saw him shutting down, taking it personally. "But if you're sure" I finished, changing my mind at the last second, holding my arm back out._

_Instantly brightening, he closed the clasp around my wrist. "So, how'd you learn French?"._

_I flushed slightly "Bertie has been teaching me here and there" . Holding my arm up to eye level I shook the bangle lightly, getting used to the new pressure "Thank you Damon. So much"._

_"Sure, don't mention it" . He immediately trivialized the gift, always uncomfortable with meaningful expressions. "We'll have to acquire a new client from France so you can try your new language skills off in Paris" he jokes. "You'd like it over there"._

_And he's crazy enough to do just that, so I only grin, roll my eyes and accept his outstretched hand to assist me in standing up. _

Getting a glimpse of Damon's blood shot eyes, I reach up and grab a red towel from the rack to throw at him. "You stink, time for a shower".

"Thanks for the painful honesty" he laughs, catching the towel with both hands before it hits his face. He shimmies out of his shirt and begins to untie his cotton bottoms.

"Ugh boundaries remember? I don't want to see you naked, like ever" I beg, not completely lying, and hurriedly jump to my feet to turn and walk out the door.

"Yeah well I don't want to have to listen to _Call Me Maybe_ for the hundredth time this week, we all have our crosses to bear" he calls out, snickering at my retreating back.

Before I knew it the time to go on our respective separate vacations had arrived and Damon's group and I were waiting at the regional airport for our flights to be called. Damon had disputed my decision to not accompany him several times more throughout the week and had finally given up trying to dissuade me this morning, the guy was nothing if not stubborn.

"Don't forget to use the factor 30 sunscreen I packed, you know how quickly you burn" I advised, trying to hide the smile threatening to creep across my face.

Alaric watched our interaction with barely contained glee. "Yeah, he bruises like a peach too".

Damon crossed his arms. "Okay I get the joke, very hilarious" he fumed. "Everyone thinks I'm going to fall to pieces without Elena helping me".

"Oh we don't think that at all" I supplied. "Where's your passport again?".

"Jokes on you, it's right here" he confidently reached into his hand luggage before his face fell and he started to frantically pat around his bag.

Rolling my eyes I leant over and zipped open the side pocket, triumphantly pulling out his passport. "What's that you were saying again?".

He grabbed it from my hand, tucked it into his back pocket and argued "Lucky guess".

"Or Elena packed it this morning and has already told you where she put it fifty times today" Alaric added, never missing out on the opportunity to goad Damon. He turned my way "Don't worry Elena, i'll keep an eye out for him".

I smirked "It'll be interesting to see how well you carry that out after the sixth or seventh shot you do". A clipped women's voice coming across the intercom interrupted our discussion by announcing my flight number as boarding.

"Alright guys I guess this is it, have fun okay?" I smiled and hugged Alaric first before turning to Damon who wrapped his arms tightly around me.

"You take care of yourself alright?" he murmured in my ear. "Let me know when you land".

"Shouldn't those be my lines?" I teased as I took a subtle step back from his embrace after catching sight of the looks sent my way from the few work friends of Damon's who were joining him on the trip. Damon had always been tactile; with everyone, not just me, still it was a common mistake of those who didn't know us well to assume there was something going on between him and I. Giving everyone one last brief wave I stepped onto the escalator, pulling my rolling suitcase behind me.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do" Damon called up, grinning as he gave me a quick salute.

"That's a very short list then" I shouted back as I ascended up the moving stairs, his blinding smile the last thing I see as I step onto the second floor.

The flight goes quickly and being alone I try to shake the slight sense of disorientation I'm experiencing. Around 8:00 p.m. I finally pull up to my childhood home, a powerful wave of nostalgia hitting me and I all but sprint up to the front door, lifting the heavy metal knocker a few quick times.

My mother swings open the door, her eyeglasses perched on the top of her head, nestled in her nutmeg colored hair. "Elena!" she gasps. "What are you doing he-" She breaks off, waves her hand and yanks me into a tight hug "Oh, it doesn't matter as long as you're really here". Pulling back she cups my face "Why didn't you tell us you were coming?"

I drop my suitcases before answering "Thought it'd be fun to surprise you all, I knew Jeremy was home from college".

"Grayson" she shrieks behind her. "Grayson come here".

"Miranda, what are you yelling about now" My father walks out, his eyes trained on the crossword he's completing, still possessing the dark brunette hair and lithe frame that he had as a teenager. When he finally glances up he looks stunned for a minute before repeating the exact same action my mother just had, his embrace reminding me of the baseball games and ice cream sundaes of my childhood. "It's good to see you sweetheart" he confesses, picking up my heavy bags easily with one hand.

My father leaves to dump my belongings into my old room and my mother ushers me into the kitchen with one arm encircling my shoulders. She points to one of the stools at kitchen island "You're going to sit right here and tell me _everything_".

As I bring her up to date with all the details of my life, she rushes around her favorite domain and routinely purses her lips at me. I know she's thinking I'm too skinny for my own good and sure enough half an hour later she plops down several plates of warm food in front of me.

After eating enough to make her happy she eventually let's me upstairs when I almost fall asleep face first into her peach cobbler. Making my way up the familiar staircase, I knock at the room one across from mine, and poke my head around the door. My younger brother is sitting on his bed, doodling on his sketchpad and tapping his foot to the music he's listening to.

"Elena" he grins, removing his headphones. "I didn't know you were coming home".

"Yeah, it was a surprise dummy" I inform, as I perch on the corner of his bedspread and reach across to playfully ruffle his floppy brown hair. "Good to see you little bro".

He ducks from under my arm and groans "'''Lena".

I roll my eyes and punch his arm "Sorry, forgot you were too cool to like your sister now". I avoid the pencil he throws at me and walk back to the door "Catch up tomorrow?".

"Sure" he nods. Just as I'm about to close the door behind me he speaks again "Hey Elena?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're here"

"Thanks Jere" I smile, wondering when I missed my brat of a younger sibling turn into a man. Walking into my bedroom, I pause long enough just to pull off my clothes and then fall under the blankets expecting sleep to envelop me straight away.

Except it doesn't.

I received none of the usual phone calls interrupting my slumber in the early hours of the morning from Damon asking me to come over and share a tub of ice cream with him or to pick up some random items he needs. And still I tossed and turned, getting caught up in my covers, feeling a little lost and trying to remember the last time I had spent more then 24 hours apart from him. _Jesus Christ Elena_ I thought. _Get a grip. _ So I squeezed my eyes shut and eventually forced myself to drift off.

The following morning my mother insisted on preparing the smiley face chocolate pancakes that had been her specialty all through Jeremy and I's elementary school years.

"Did you know Mom and Dad tried to sell you when you were seven, it's like a family secret now" Jeremy confided while opening his mouth wide enough to shovel a whole pancake into the gaping cavern.

"Oh really? That's funny" I retaliated, squirting whip cream onto my breakfast. "Because I was with Mom and Dad when they found you under a rock, you just followed us home and we didn't have the heart to kick you out". Apparently I had regressed from a grown woman to an adolescent in the presence of my brother.

My mother turned from the stove and deposited a highly unnecessary second stack of pancakes onto the breakfast table. "Stop it both of you and eat your food" she lectured, trying to hide a smile, probably over the fact that her house was filled again with her two children.

Jeremy waited until her back was turned again before silently pouring syrup into his mouth straight from the bottle, trying to disgust me. Luckily before I could reciprocate my cell rang putting an end to our infantile squabble, walking out to the hallway for some privacy I answered without recognizing the number.

"Elena Gilbert speaking" I voiced studying my split ends, expecting it to be a telemarketer on the other end.

"_Uh hi, Elena? This is Stefan, Stefan Salvatore. Damon's brother."_

Oh I knew who he was alright, question was why the hell was he calling me? I responded icily "Oh hello, how can I help you?".

_"I'm sorry to call you out of the blue like this, but I've been trying to get in contact with Damon for a while now and I haven't been able to get through to him. I got hold of your number and was hoping you could ask him to call me if he gets the chance?"._

Stefan had been trying to contact Damon? That was news to me. Besides if Damon didn't want to speak to him there wasn't much I could do about it. "I actually won't be seeing him for a week, I can give you the main phone number for Salvatore Corp. though?".

"_No, i've tried that number and I never get through. Look, Elena I know I have no right to ask you this, just please could you pass the message along to him when you see him next."_

The desperation in his voice causes me to soften marginally. "I can pass along that you were trying to get hold of him when he gets back from vacation. But I can't promise he'll do anything with the information".

"_That's all I'm asking, thank-you"._

"Alright, goodbye Mr. Salvatore". I drift back into the kitchen after he hangs up with what must of been a dazed look on my face because my mother picks up on it straight away.

"Honey?" she questions. "Who was that on the phone?".

I notice Jeremy has fled to avoid the washing up so I join my mother in helping her load the dishwasher. "Just some work stuff". I pause wondering how much I should disclose to her. "Well it's not really strictly work, but it's a personal matter for Damon".

She stands up from loading a bowl and looks me straight in the eye. "Elena, you're very involved with your work aren't you? You take it very personally, not many employees would be worrying about their boss while on a break."

I give a non committal shrug, not sure how to respond.

"Your father and I know how to do the Google you know, we see what they say on Perez Hilton. Is there something you need to tell us?".

"The Google?" I repeat incredulously, bursting out laughing. "I'm surprised you even know how to get online, but I'd expect you of all people to know the dross they post up on sites like that. Damon and I are completely platonic". I hand another dish to her and allow "But yeah, I guess we're closer friends then the usual boss/employee relationship."

"Alright dear, I was just asking. Now go get your brother and he can wipe the table clean".

My vacation passes reasonably quickly, and although I adore being back at home with my family I remember why it's best to do it in small doses. One advantage of my time off is I rediscover my love of writing again. It had always come second best to ballet as a teenager, but now that I had some time to indulge a little in it I recalled the sense of freedom it used to bring up in me, and I wasn't completely awful at turning a phrase either. Sitting at my rickety old writing desk, gazing out of the window I made a promise to myself to put some time aside back in New York to continue practicing it.

Two days before I'm due to depart back to the Big Apple, I'm woken from a catnap on the sofa by the piercing chimes of the doorbell. Fatigued, I check the time on my cell, sitting bolt up right when I see that it's 3:00 in the morning. I turn off the repeat of SNL which has been flickering in the background and grab one of Jeremy's old baseball bats from the hallway, holding it over my head as I cinch open the door a crack.

"Who is it?"

"Only your most favorite person in the world". And then a different voice comes across, sounding slightly further away "And what am I? Chopped liver?".

I'd know those voices blindfolded. "Damon...Alaric?" I hiss as I swing open the door fully, turn on the porch light and become intensely aware that I'm only dressed in an extra large T-shirt when Damon's eyes rake up my exposed legs and Alaric hastily averts his eyes. "What _the hell _are you doing here?".

Eying the baseball bat I'm still holding Damon holds out his hands, palms side up "Easy Babe Ruth, are you going to invite us in or what?".

Flabbergasted, I stand back against the wall and allow them to shuffle past, Alaric shooting me an apologetic glance as he moves in. Just as I'm about to inquire again about why they've turned up on my doorstep in Middle-of-Nowhere, Virginia my parents make their way down the stairs, obviously woken by the commotion.

My mother's eyes widen as she gets a good look at the surprise guests that have just arrived and she tightens the belt on her robe and sort of flutters her hands around my father. "Elena, you didn't tell us we were expecting Mr. Salvatore and a friend" she chided.

I'm about to tell her that's because I didn't know jack shit about our new delivery of two bouncing boys when Damon steps forward and takes her hand, shaking it warmly. "I couldn't be more sorry for the intrusion at this hour, but the island we were staying at was hit by bad weather and we had to cut our trip short. We thought we would pass through Virginia on the way back".

I recognize the look as soon as it crosses my mother's face, she has been whammied with the full extent of the Salvatore charm. Even my aloof father is standing there looking impressed that the CEO of one of the biggest advertisement firms in the world is in his house. I have to bite my tongue from revealing to them a few secrets about the man they're looking at like the second coming.

"We were just going to get a recommendation from Elena for a hotel and then be on our way" Alaric amends, looking guiltily at me.

"Nonsense" my mother admonishes. "There is more than enough room for the both of you here. We insist, don't we Elena?".

My mother has instilled Southern hospitality in me since the age of five and she would be mortified if I refused, probably take away my Grits eating rights or something. "Of course" I smile wanly.

She sends my father back to bed and starts upstairs to guide them to the perpetually ready-made guest rooms she maintains, Damon glances back at me, smirking in a way that I know means this turned out exactly how he wanted. I only shake my head at him and mouth "Tomorrow". This can wait to be dealt with after a solid 6 hours of sleep.

I tell myself that I'm mad, seething that after wanting to take a beat away from him and have some time on my own he still finds a way to weasel his way in. But honestly, I sleep better then I have the whole week and can't help feeling like everything is right with him only down the hall.

I've forgotten all about our new boarders until I wonder sleepily into the kitchen for breakfast and find Alaric pouring himself some grapefruit juice. "I'm guessing Damon is still sound asleep" I note dryly, reaching across him for the coffee pot.

"You got it" he agrees, looking at me warily over his cup. "I really am sorry for the surprise arrival. Damon was already getting bored when the weather hit, he sent the other guys home and insisted on coming to visit you. You know he's like a dog with a bone when he gets one of his bright ideas".

I sigh, because I do know and Alaric just got dragged along for the ride. "It's fine, really it is. It's actually good to see you guys, my mother was on the verge of taking me to her quilting club".

Laughing, he takes a slice of toast I just made for him. "Your parents told me to tell you they won't be back until late, said something about volunteering at a Founder's day event."

"Yeah, they're always involved with something like that". I bring my arms out to the side and wave my hands. "What would you like me to show you first, i'll be Damon and your's official tour guide".

"Just Damon's" he clarifies. "I'm renting a Mustang and taking a road trip back to New York. Always wanted to do it, leaving after breakfast".

At least I won't have to worry about entertaining more than one fully grown manchild. "Sounds like fun. So did Damon and you behave yourselves? No more bar fights?".

"Nope, probably because nobody called you a pretty little whore. So we were all good" he answered and then cringed when he saw my face. "Damon didn't let you in on that little piece of information did he?".

"Apparently not, but you're going to".

"Alright, but this never came from me". After waiting for a nod of confirmation from me he continues "The drunken asshole from the bar knew of Damon and had obviously seen pictures of you with him. He wanted to piss Damon off for whatever reason and decided the best way to do it was to call you some names. He probably started rethinking that decision when Damon laid him flat out."

The whole fight had been about me? "Oh God, I would never want Damon to do that for my sake. I don't care what they say about me."

Alaric shook his head grinning "He was protecting your honor, just don't let him know you know".

After seeing Alaric off on his trip and it almost being midday I decided to get Damon's lazy ass out of bed. But as I rounded the corner he was standing fully dressed inspecting the wall in the hallway, the one filled with photos charting Jeremy and I's childhood.

"Something amusing?" I questioned, watching as his eyes creased with laugh lines.

"I never knew you were such an exhibitionist Elena" he pointed to the photo of me half-naked running around a sprinkler. "I'm sure Miranda would love to tell me so many juicy stories about you".

I scoffed and caught his arm, leading him to the sofa. "Yeah, not going to happen. Sit".

He easily complied with my direction and looked up at me as if butter wouldn't melt. When he made no move to speak I shrugged my shoulders 'Well?" I prodded.

Leaning, against the back of the sofa he smirked. "What? I thought we could spend some time together and then go back home on Wednesday, it's only two days Elena. And I'm here as your friend, not as your boss I promise".

I sat down next to him, rolling my eyes. "Okay, fine. What I would like to know is why you haven't told me Stefan has been been trying to contact you?".

And his face drops, it just falls. I feel the twist of pain in my gut that I experience every time I see Damon genuinely affected by something.

"Thought if I ignored it he would give up, I guess he saw that interview with the question about him. How did you know?".

"He called me. Wanted my help".

"Figures, he always was a sneaky bastard" he mutters moodily. "Can we just like not talk about it until we go back to New York please?".

Him at least considering talking about his brother for any length of time is a considerable breakthrough. "Sure, of course."

My parents call my cell, insisting they need my help to make the float for the parade of the week and Damon decides to stay at home. I'm kicking myself for even bringing Stefan up as it has obviously negatively affected his mood, but I couldn't of kept _that _under wraps, it would of felt like I was lying to him.

When hours later I'm eventually set free and walk back into the house, he's standing over the kitchen counter grating some parmesan cheese, cutting tomatoes and still has a face as dark as it was when I left.

"What are you doing?".

He glances morosely up at me "Cooking dinner, it's the least I can do for your family".

I've had Damon's cooking. He doesn't do it often but when he does it gives Alberto's a run for his money, it's mouthwatering. "You don't have to do that".

"I want to" he replies and then promptly accidently slices the tip of his finger open with the knife he's wielding.

I turn on the tap, stick his hand under it and have the finger wrapped up in a band-aid in less then a minute flat. "C'mon" I announce, throwing him his coat. "Leave dinner and let's go have five minutes". Because someone needs to break him out of his funk, and it's gonna have to be me.

I drive him around Mystic Falls showing him every little sightseeing opportunity I can think of and he doesn't crack one tiny smile, not even at the stunning waterfalls all our travel brochures boast about. Inspiration suddenly strikes and I park at the deserted local high school.

Taking him by the hand I lead him to the bleachers on the football field, push him down by the shoulders and give him a beer from the six pack I pulled out of the trunk. "Alright, you just sit right there. Okay?"

Still not really believing I'm about to do this I find two bundles of leaves for pompoms and strike a pose in front of him. Vaguely remembering a routine from years ago I chant "Give me a T!".

He glares at me until he realizes I'm not going to back down and reluctantly groans "T".

It's around the "O" of me spelling out Timberwolves when I see him grinning and know I'm succeeding. And by the time I finish the show by doing the splits he has enough cheer for a whole damn cheerleading team.

I join him on the bleachers and grab my own beer "You better of enjoyed that, because it was a once in a lifetime, never to be spoken of again kind-of-thing".

"Oh I enjoyed it alright" he winks lasciviously. "So this is where you went to high-school huh?".

I'm relived to hear the double innuendos and snark back in his tone. "Yep" I point to a spot under the bleachers. "And that right there is where I almost lost my virginity to Jake Barrow in the tenth grade".

Raising his eyebrows he takes another swig from his bottle. "Classy".

"I said almost, and I'm sure your first time wasn't all candles and romantic music".

He chuckles for the first time of the night and I drag him back to the car. "There's one more place I want to show you."

When we pull up to the small airfield at the edges of Mystic Falls I shush his inquisitive questions, wait for him to give me a leg up over the wire fence and then lead him to a small knoll at the end of one of the runways.

"Lay back" I order, patting the space next to me on the sloping grass.

"What are we supposed to be looking at?" he squints hesitantly up at the endless stars.

"Anything, everything" I disclose, tracing the path of an airplane taking off against the sky with my finger. "Whenever I needed to escape reality I came here to watch the planes and think about all the people in them and all the places they were going. Wondering if I would ever get to travel."

He settles his arms behind his head to rest on and slowly nods, and I think he may get my screwed up logic a little.

"And I did, thanks to you" I continue. "We even did Paris like you promised."

"Thanks Elena" he turns his head to look at me, his eyes glinting in the moonlight. "For letting me stay, for putting up with my shit tonight. It's been a long time since i've been around family and just had a moment to breathe".

We spend the next few hours not moving, just watching the planes take off and getting a little silly on cheap beer. And I don't think I've had this much fun _since_ high school.

By the end of the vacation I'm firmly under the impression that my whole family would gladly trade me in for Damon Salvatore. He won my brother over by finally giving him a worthy opponent for video games, he won my father over by being able to discuss at length with him the ins and outs of a decent whiskey. And he only had to flash his baby blues at my mother to get her on his team, the meals he happily cooked happened to just be the cherry on top.

My brother and I slug each other on the arm as a means of goodbye and I get a bear hug from my father, it's my mother's farewell that gives me cause for thought.

She hits me with her little gem of enlightenment as Damon's distracted loading our luggage into the cab that's going to take us to his private plane. "You need to be careful Elena".

"Careful about what?" I ask, distracted by looking for my left shoe.

"That boy is so completely gone on you honey, one of you is going to get hurt".

This is coming from the woman who was convinced that Elijah from two doors down was in love with me, thats until he started dating someone. Someone called Steve. But the conviction in her voice stirs something that I stuff to the back corners of my mind and never let myself consider.

Because if Damon Salvatore did ever develop feelings for me it would ruin everything. Everything.

* * *

**A/N- I know Elena's denial is grating but she won't be clueless for much longer, as in finds out next chapter ;). I also want to thank you all so, so much for the response this story has been getting, it's an honor to write for you all, with a special thank you to ohmypreciousgirl for putting me on her fanfic rec list on Tumblr. And lastly I finally got a twitter account and would love to connect with you all, it's Summerw12344 if you ever want to drop me a line. x **


	4. Chapter 4

**_Take love, multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of forever... And you still have only a glimpse of how I feel for you. _- Meet Joe Black**

* * *

"Okay, from here all the way to the table with the ugly statue on it" I instructed Caroline, both of us clad in sweats, our hair thrown up into messy ponytails. "Whoever loses has to buy dinner tonight".

She nodded, narrowed her eyes at me and we both took a running start, sliding down Damon's recently polished hallway in our cotton socks.

"Yes!" Caroline crowed triumphantly, throwing her fists up into the air as she glided past the finishing point. "Dinner's on you Gilbert".

Alberto, who had been watching our competition play out in front of him, burst into laughter shaking his head. "This house is always so alive when you are here Miss. Elena, never change eh?".

"I don't think there's any risk of her doing that" Damon announced behind us, taking the stairs two steps at a time. "Let me guess, the girls were pretending they were Tom Cruise in Risky Business again?".

Damon, who was rarely seen out of his expensive tailored suits, was dressed in denim jeans and the overrated leather jacket (which he still managed to pull off). Good, this meant he was feeling particularly relaxed after the huge account he had lined up today.

With another run and slide I ended up in front of him. "Care was just picking me up for dinner, you wanna come?". It was Friday night, after work hours and my lively mood was proving to be infectious.

Glancing briefly at Caroline he smirked, I could see him mentally weighing up the advantages of accepting just to piss her off. "Thanks for the invite, but no. Alaric and I have plans".

"Oh please don't think you _have_ to go to the titty bar on my account. Elena and I would love to have you tagging along" Caroline bit out, syrupy sweet .

"I prefer Gentleman's club, Barbie" he corrected, leaning against the banister and reveling in the chance to rile her up. "Actually, Alaric is forcing me go to dinner with his new girlfriend".

The doorbell rang acting as a stop to his sentence and I raced to open it, completely ready to pester Alaric with an interrogation about his new girl. "You should know by-" I trailed off as I came face to face with not Alaric, but Stefan.

If Damon was night with his charcoal hair and the thin thread of darkness that winds itself through him, his brother was most definitely day. He was all light; light caramel hair, light fair skin and light emerald eyes. Even his clothing was all neutral tones.

"Holy shit" I blurted out, rapidly smacking my hand over my mouth. What do you do in this situation? Slam the door in the philandering brother's face?.

"Elena, it's not nice to react like that to Alaric's unattractiveness, he's a sensitive guy" Damon strolled up behind me, completely unaware of the bombshell that was about to hit. "Holy shit, Stefan" he breathed out, discovering who our actual guest was after opening the door wider.

_Exactly my words _I thought dryly, partly horrified over how this could play out. They stared each other down unblinkingly until Stefan sucked in a deep breath "Can we talk? It's important".

Damon looked like he was just going to turn him away until he sighed and stepped back, gesturing with one hand for Stefan to enter.

Caroline scrunched her forehead up and furrowed her brows, having only vague notions of what was occurring right now. She gave me a glance silently asking what we should do.

"Damon, I can stay if you want" I awkwardly offered. He was a grown man who was more than capable with dealing with his own issues, but something about leaving him alone to deal with _this _did not sit right with me.

He shook his head darkly "Go to dinner Elena, it's fine".

Already seeing the shadows that were obscuring his eyes, I tried again "Are you su-".

Without looking away from Stefan he interrupted "Just go, take Caroline and enjoy dinner".

Once seated at the restaurant, Caroline took increasingly aggressive bites of her salad as she got angrier telling the story of a especially difficult client she was designing for, her ranting a continuous spiel of words. I tried to hum and nod at the right parts to show interest but inside I was warring with myself. Should I go home after dinner and pass out on my couch in front of the DVR? Or should I go back to Damon's to check how the latest catastrophe was balancing out?.

It took me until I was almost back at my house for me to abruptly swing the car around and badly parallel park at the front of Damon's home. Using my set of keys I edged the door open with my hip, listening intently for any signs of life and made my way into the foyer, the heels of my pumps sounding like small nail guns. The house was blanketed in darkness, the only source of light an orange flickering glow coming from the library.

"I swear to god if he's forgotten to put the fire out again..." I muttered to myself, stopping suddenly when the silhouette of Damon sitting on the wingback armchair in front of the fireplace was thrown into sharp relief. A glass tumbler dangled loosely from his right hand, and the remnants of the decanter were smashed and scattered over the floor.

"It didn't go well then?" I started experimentally, trying to construe just exactly how bad his mood was. My voice echoed around the room as I spoke again to break the silence "Stefan has gone already?".

"Do you know what it's like to walk in on the woman you loved riding the only family member you've ever trusted?" he ruminated. "The betrayal was so bitter, sometimes I swear I can still taste it".

I wasn't even sure he was aware I was in the room. Walking to stand in front of him, I folded my arms loosely over my chest and could tell he was stone cold sober by the amount of liquid that had ended up on the floor. No, not drunk, he was just hurt...or angry.

"I can't say I do know what it's like, no."

For the first time since I came in his eyes searched out mine "Katherine left him last year after he blew through his trust fund and now he wants a part of the company" he explained scathingly. "That's why he wanted to see me again, for the money".

"Damon I..." I stuttered helplessly, lost for words. Because no matter what had gone between them in the past, maybe all Damon wanted was his brother to come and tell him he's sorry. As much hatred that must run between them, you can't ever really stop loving your own flesh and blood. And as for Katherine, it sounded like she ran when the going got tough, I had no idea if Damon still harbored an iota of feelings for her. "That's awful".

"Well, he's got another thing coming if he thinks he can lay a finger on my company, he always hated it. Wanted nothing to do with it until he needed money. Screw it, he can take me to court and i'll destroy him."

"You can go over it with Alaric when you have a clear head, Stefan may not even want to go to those lengths for the money" I advised, kneeling down and starting to precariously collect slivers of broken glass into my hand.

"Leave it Elena, it's not your job" he directed firmly. "You'll cut yourself, the cleaners will do it".

Brushing off my palms I rose and paused by his chair "We have to go to Vegas early tomorrow to finalize the Lockwood account, I might as well stay over".

He nodded once briskly and grabbed my hand just as I was about to walk past "Thanks, for you know...coming back tonight".

I squeezed his fingers once reassuringly and jogged up the staircase, knowing he needed time alone to take in his brother's transgressions.

Vegas turned out to be in the midst of a heat wave. Add that to Damon's full on denial and refusal to talk about anything that happened last night, and the trip wasn't turning out to be the highlight of my week. While Damon was busy signing the contract with Tyler Lockwood, a partner in a leading beverage conglomerate, I had been holed up in my hotel room all day. Not being a fan of gambling there was nothing else really to do but raid the mini bar. _Ghirardelli chocolate bar_? Going on the company tab. _Three miniature bottles of Malibu?_ Going on the company tab. _Countless bags of pretzels? _Also going on the company tab.

After what seemed forever dusk fell across the strip and I was scheduled to meet Damon and Tyler for dinner. Frankly at this point I would of gone to dinner with Bobo the clown just to escape these four walls. I hastily threw on a airy wrap dress over the lingerie I had been lounging around in and rode the elevator down to the hotel's steakhouse, trying to apply my lipstick in a compact mirror as neatly as possible.

"Ms. Gilbert isn't it?".

I spun around on my heel to search for who was calling me. Tyler stared back, nervous that he had mistaken the name. He was handsome in a traditional sort of way with strong cheekbones and mahogany eyes. I knew that he had only recently achieved partner status in his company and his youthfulness leant to the perpetual eager-to-please look on his face.

"Oh call me Elena" I requested, returning his warm smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you". I was used to accompanying Damon on meals with clients and knew the steps by heart.

He shifted uncomfortably after looking at his watch. "Is Mr. Salvatore alright? We planned to meet up half an hour ago."

"Hasn't he been with you all day?".

"Only in the morning, I haven't seen him for a good six hours though".

"I'm sure he'll be right down, i'll just call him". I half turned to hide my face while I waited for Damon to pick up the phone. After getting his voicemail two times in a row I bit my lip and smiled tightly at Tyler "I'm going to go up and get him. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, I'll only be a minute".

He nodded politely as I returned the way I had just came, taking the elevator all the way up to the penthouse this time. Damon as a businessman was incomparable, he never lost clients to rival firms and they all sing his praises. For him to not turn up to dinner was bizarre.

I could hear shrieking music playing ear-piercingly through the door as I tapped my foot waiting for him to answer. After no response I pulled out a key card and swiped it through the lock, relieved when it clicked and swung open.

"Andie?" I exclaimed, shocked to find a slender woman in the entrance way picking up her jacket from the floor and slinging her purse over her shoulder. Andie Starr was a small time reporter back in New York and the only one of Damon's friends-with-benefits I actually liked. She had some intelligence and was was of the very few girls I had seen invited back more than once.

She glanced up and surreptitiously wiped a tear from the corner of her eye "Hey Elena".

"Are you okay?" I inquired, lightly touching her elbow.

"I'll be fine, I should of known when Damon flew me out all the way to fucking _Vegas_ for a couple of hours what it meant. He's never going to think of me as more than a piece of ass and _I know that _so I don't know why I keep expecting more." She caught my face hardening and shook her head emphatically "Don't go in there all guns blazing Elena, it's my own fault. I knew what I was getting into." Patting my shoulder once she smiled and walked out the door.

"Damon" I yelled, striding into the bedroom. I find him half asleep in bed, the hotel's white linens messily gathered around him. "Forget you were supposed to be somewhere maybe?".

The tone in my voice does nothing to perturb him and he only lazily places an arm over his eyes "I remembered the dinner with Tyler, I just didn't feel like wining and dining him. The contract has already been signed."

"Well thank you for that. Thank you so much for letting me know you weren't going to turn up." I can't even look at him right now without wanting to hit him hard somewhere it'll really hurt so I distract myself by calling Tyler. I manage to cover-up Damon's absence by telling him Mr. Salvatore fell ill with a bad case of food poisoning, hating myself that I can lie with the best of them.

I politely turn down his request to join him for drinks and hang up, aiming my cell with perfect aim at Damon's head. "What _the fuck_ is your problem Damon? I just ran into Andie crying and now you're bailing on business affairs?".

He sat up angrily, pulling his boxers on under the covers "I'm not in the mood Elena".

Screw it, _I _wasn't in the mood either. Frustration from the day and worry over the way he floats through life collided to make the perfect storm. "Is this how you want to live your life Damon? Having sex with as many girls as possible, never settling down and having something _real_? Is this all because of Katherine?". I don't know why I included her name, it's not like we ever talked about her but I had always wondered if she was the catalyst for Damon's commitment phobia.

He forces out a shrill burst of laughter and jumps off the bed "And what makes you think you have any right to ask me those questions? You know what you are to me? A secretary, a glorified maid. You. Are. My. Employee."

I see the regret in his eyes almost as soon as the words are out of his mouth but it's not enough because I snap. I fully fly off the handle because _that_? That cut deep. "You're completely right Damon, I'm just the hired help right?" I mock, eyes full of steel, finger pointed at his chest. "I haven't been there for you every step of the way? Because let me tell you something buddy, the shit I do for you isn't on any job description. Not even a PA's". He tries to interrupt but I continue without taking breath. "This codependent fuckery we have going on" I move my arms out to the side to indicate. "I actually thought was a friendship. But thank you for showing me my place".

His expression looks like I have physically slapped him and he reaches out for my arm but I swerve and leave silently in a cloud of hurt and rage that doesn't clear until I find myself at the hotel bar. I feel like I've given five years of my life to someone I trusted and respected who in return thinks nothing of me.

"Changed your mind then?".

I twist my torso on the bar stool to see Tyler slipping into the one next to mine "Yeah, I suddenly had some free time."

"Buy you a drink?" he asks, holding his glass up and swishing the clear liquid around.

I'm about to turn him down and go straight to bed but i've just had enough. I'm tired, I'm tired of always being someone else's rock and not even knowing who I am anymore. So instead I nod and silence my cell "How about a whole bottle?".

He raises his eyebrows, grins and holds two fingers up to signal the bartender. I need to forget tonight.

The next morning the sound of the door opening jolts me awake, with one leg falling out from the covers and it takes me a good five minutes to remember where I am. There's several glasses on my bedside table, dried mint leaves left in them. I practically have a heart attack when I hear a snore beside me. Oh thats right, somewhere between my third and fourth Long Island Ice Tea I had the bright idea to sleep with Tyler.

The reason for my wake up call coughs from the corner and I see a flash of a scowl "Sorry, I didn't realize you had company."

_Shit, _Why did I give Damon a key card to my room again? I know it's not exactly the most mature of responses, but I'm still pretty naked so I burrow further under the covers with only my brown hair left out in the open. "What is it?" I ask coldly, because despite the amount of alcohol I consumed last night the words he threw at me are still ringing in my ears and I have no desire to see the anger in his eyes. One night stands aren't really my thing but I still have a ways to go to get anywhere near his league, so the pissed off thing he has going on is kind of hypocritical. The last time I made a impulsive decision like I did last night was probably when I accepted his god forsaken job offer. I've done _nothing_ wrong but I still can't quite shake the hint of guilt I'm feeling, the quick glimpse I got of his face flashing through my mind.

I hear carpeted footsteps and then his voice comes from somewhere over by the door "I'm taking an earlier flight, I'll see you back at home". And then he's gone again and I only have an awkward morning goodbye with Tyler to look forward too.

As soon as I get home I collect every fattening piece of food I have in the cupboard (including the Cocoa Puffs I keep for Damon's visits), settle in front of Netflix, and come to terms with the fact that I'm going to wake up tomorrow with a intense junk food hangover. Sometime during the night I grab a garbage bag and stomp to my bookshelf. In goes the photo of Damon and I at the top of the Eiffel Tower. In goes the photo of us laughing in the rain in London. In goes the photo of us rock climbing in Australia. And _oops_, there goes the photo of him teaching me how to barbeque in his garden.

I wait five seconds, sigh, put my hand back in the bag to take them out and place them back onto their shelf. I won't let those memories be tainted.

Petty and stubborn as it may be I ignore Damon for the next four days. I've always organized everything in advance for him so he'd be fine by himself for a while. And if he wanted me to act like his employee, I would. He would have to deal with me not doing those extra things he had gotten so used to. The sting of his words are amplified by the fact that he had never treated me as anything less then a close freind before.

I screen his calls and make sure the doorman knows not to let him upstairs anymore without getting my say-so. The problem is I can't stop missing him. When it gets to the point where I find myself missing the scent of his cologne I realize this isn't normal and some changes need to be made if we were going to continue working together.

So when Mr. Branson; the half deaf, grey haired doorman buzzed the intercom to let me know Damon had been camped out in the foyer all day, I knew it was time to rip the Band-Aid off and have the conversation with him.

I let him in silently, giving him a fraying towel to dry his dripping hair "Why are you so wet?".

He looked at me humorlessly "Because it's raining outside and _someone _wouldn't let me upstairs".

"I'm sorry that was childish of me". It had never been awkward like this between us before and it felt horrendous.

Picking up the corner of an empty Cheetos bag with his fingertips he smiles blithely "I can never work out how you maintain your dancer's figure so well with all the shit you eat."

"Running after your ass" I quip, allowing a small smile. I watch as he picks up a pillow from the sofa and rotates it between his hands.

"Damon" I started.

"No, wait. Let me get this out. I don't know what the hell I was thinking" he cut in, fixing me with his penetrative stare. "You have to know I didn't mean those things, you know that's not how I think of you."

"You don't have to apologize Damon, you were completely right. I am your employee and I need to start acting like one".

He stilled and looked into his lap "What are you trying to say Elena?".

This shouldn't be this hard, why was this so hard? "It's not healthy anymore Damon, we lean on each other too much. I think you should give me my keys back and we stick to seeing each other during working hours and to being professional."

"If thats what you want then who am I to tell you otherwise" he raises his hands, smiling sarcastically. Reaching into his back pocket he throws his set of keys to my house into my lap. "Because I'm toxic right? You can't stand being close with me anymore? You're not the first and you won't be the last".

Something deep in my heart clenches painfully because I've never seen him look so lost. "That's not what I mean at all Damon" I admonished, hating myself for executing this so badly. "You said it yourself in Vegas. Why are you taking this personally?".

He stands up with his back facing me, combing his fingers through his hair. "You want to know why I've never settled down? Why Andie and every other girl doesn't mean a thing to me?" he annunciates calmly.

I sit frozen at the abrupt subject change, wondering where he's going with this.

He suddenly spins around and his voice rises in anger. Leaning over my chair he rests his arms either side of me, boxing me in. "Because they're not you Elena. They're not you".

"I don't understand".

He pushes himself back and shakes his head "Are you trying to be dense Elena? I'm fucking in love with you! I have been for years."

My brain doesn't accept the words he's saying, I feel like i've been dunked in a bath of ice and smacked across the face at the same time. "You're only saying that now because you don't want to lose me. I'm a safe choice and you like the chase" I ramble hopelessly, trying desperately to comprehend this new information.

His voice is dangerous and rough and immediately he's back hovering over me "_You_ don't get to tell me why or how I love you. You have no clue what you do to me". He gently cups my cheeks and my heart starts to race. I've never had someone look at me like _that_ before and suddenly I can do nothing but accept the depth of his love for me.

"I lost it with you in Vegas because you asked me if I still loved Katherine. What I felt for her is nothing, _nothing_ compared to what I feel about you."

The intensity of the moment feels infinitely fragile and I have no idea how to respond. My mother's previous intuition about his feelings and her statement about someone getting hurt in pinging around, taking up all the space in my brain. I just need to think. I can't think.

By the time I look up again Damon's is backing away towards the door, his face pale. "You weren't supposed to find out this way" he mutters. "Or at all."

Before I have collected myself enough to ask him_ Why now?, _he's gone and I can't breathe. My whole world has been flipped on it's head and I feel like I'm walking on a very thin tightrope with no parachute.

_Damon loves me. Damon is in love with me_ echos around and around in my head for at least an hour until another knock on my door breaks me out of my reverie. I'm expecting Damon again and I panic realizing I haven't even begun to fathom his confession.

I breathe a slight sigh of relief as I find only Alaric waiting for me. "If you've come to announce your unrequited love for me, sorry you're shit out of luck I've filled my quota today."

"It's not fucking funny Elena, you can't even begin.." he spits out angrily, following me into the living room.

All the confusion and fear that has been building up since Damon left bursts out of me and I spin to face him. "I know Alaric, _I know. _Believe me I find nothing funny in this situation." I take a deep breath and lock my arms, stabilizing myself on the counter, my voice coming out meeker then i'd like "But he's had years to deal with this, I've had exactly an hour."

Face softening, he asks skeptically "You must of known Elena. You can't honestly tell me you didn't?"

I ignore the small voice that's telling me that in my most innermost thoughts I somehow knew all along, but just kept repressing it and repressing it until it was nothing. "How long have _you_ known?" I question, deflecting.

"A long time, lets just say it came out a while ago in a drunken confession. I guessed before that though."

"Where is he?". Even now I can't help but to need to know his whereabouts.

"He's staying at mine, he needs time."

"I don't even understand why he would feel that way about me Alaric. He's _Damon Salvatore_ and I'm just his small town PA."

Alaric glances at me, chagrined "That's not my question to answer. But if I had to hazard a guess it'd probably be because nobody's ever cared for him like you do. Not Katherine, not Stefan. You accept him."

"I hate him for doing this" I cry, getting angry again. I don't hate him, of course I don't but I'm scared. Nothing will ever be the same again and one wrong step and I'm going to be falling off that tightrope.

Alaric sighs, defeated "Yeah, well he loves you kid, and you're going to have to deal with that."

* * *

**A/N**- Every reader, alert, favorite, and review I get is amazing and I wish I could personally thank each and every one of you. I tried to respond to all the reviews, so I hope I didn't miss any out. And thank you to the anons for also taking the time to write feedback. Hope this chapter is somewhat enjoyable! x


	5. Chapter 5

**_So__ what happens after he climbs up and rescues her? She rescues him right back_. -Pretty Woman**

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After Alaric left I did the first thing any other girl in my situation would do; I called my best friend. I needed a tub of Dreyer's and girl talk- Stat. I took full advantage of our 'friend emergency' rule, it meant the issue was urgent enough for the other friend to know to drop everything and come running. And I would say this warranted level meltdown on the scale.

Twenty minutes later I opened the door to Caroline blowing on her nails and arching one perfectly plucked eyebrow at me "I hope this is a good one, I had to leave in the middle of a mani-pedi". She flung out her left foot and wiggled her toes which still had cotton wool balls stuck in between them. "I practically had to stab May-Lynn with a nail file for her to let me go".

"Oh, it's a doozy don't worry." I said as I let her in and watched her flounce to the living room and sit herself down. I could feel her eyes on my back as I moved around the kitchen grabbing a tub of ice cream from the freezer and two silver spoons.

"Oh God" she breathed, hanging over the upholstered arm of the couch. "Damon finally told you didn't he?".

I placed the spoons on the coffee table between us and sat crossed legged on the arm chair opposite her. "Told me what? I inquired innocently, avoiding her frozen glare. This was not happening, I hadn't been so blind that even Caroline who had the memory of a goldfish knew what was going on.

Caroline didn't buy it for a second and settled down further into the cushions "Don't play coy with me Gilbert, it doesn't suit you". She studied my face and gave a decisive nod as if confirming to herself her suspicions were correct "He actually spilled the beans about being in love with you, right? About time as well."

I hadn't felt this out of the loop since I was told I was the only one who didn't receive an A in my high-school English class. "Did a memo go out that I missed? You never breathed a word to me".

She fixed me with a wide blue eyed stare "_Oh please_ Elena, if it had been anymore obvious he would of been a puppy dog nipping at your heels. It's not like he ever said anything to me personally but it just became a fact over time. The sky is blue, water is wet, Damon's in love with Elena." Regarding me somewhat more warmheartedly she queried "Well?".

"Well what Caroline?" I snapped back my answer angrier than intended, there was just no room left in my head to try and decipher her vague questions. I swirled my spoon in the ice cream, focusing on the strands of caramel stretching and breaking.

"_Well_, how do you feel about it?" she asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Is there any reciprocation going on here?"

I'd come to the tentative decision that there must be _something_ there. If I felt nothing for him then I wouldn't have such a hard time giving a flat out no to her question. But whether that was only fragments of feelings that came from a longtime close friendship I had yet to disentangle. I needed to use Caroline as a sounding board, maybe if I tried to speak out loud and piece together what I was feeling I could get it straight in my head. "I think.." I started out slowly. "I think maybe it's a case of loving him but not being _in_ love with him?".

With unusual acumen for her, Caroline shook her head and argued "Bullshit. I'll give you that you love him as a friend and have come to care for him deeply, though God knows why". She scrunched up her nose and hurried along to her next sentence after seeing my lips purse "But if that is all this is then you wouldn't be so messed up about it." She tilted her head to the right "You wanna try again?".

"Okay, maybe it's more like I've never let myself consider it. I've never let myself go there because most importantly, I work for him. Whatever relationship that has developed between us should be coming second to a professional one. I mean it's my life" I began to let my thoughts spill out in a stream of consciousness with no boundaries. Biting a hangnail on my pointer finger I justified myself "And I don't want to put myself in the position where I risk getting hurt, I've seen him with woman Caroline. If you looked up the dictionary definition of womanizer pretty sure his picture would be right there smack next to it."

"So you think he has the ability to hurt you" she surmised. "Which must mean there's something there to hurt".

I started to pick at a feather coming out of the pillow on my lap "I suppose there could be if I let there be. But putting everything I just said aside, if I even consider starting something with him it all seems so... dangerous. The kind of thing that if I get into, I'm never coming out of again."

Caroline sighed and backed down, knowing she had gotten all she was going to get out of me on that topic. "Are you going to quit?".

"No, of course not" I denied looking up, surprised. Since Damon's declaration, the thought of how we were going to continue working together hadn't even crossed my mind yet. "I guess lately I've been thinking I wanted out, but now I'm just not ready. It's my familiarity, my stability." I was determined to stop any more parts of my life changing. "I'll go into work tomorrow, we can't avoid each other forever" I reasoned as I collected our used spoons and the half melted tub of dessert.

"Awkward central" she observed bluntly. "What are you going to say to him?"

Running through every scenario in my mind of how it could go, I only came up blank. I shrugged listlessly "I suppose I'll just have to wing it".

The next morning I took the coward's way out and decided to just turn up at his house as if nothing had happened, rather then picking up the phone and alerting him to me coming. I'd had approximately 10 minutes of rest last night and was in the woozy state of sleep deprivation, fighting to open my eyes again after every blink.

I'd been working in Damon's study on a spreadsheet for his finances for at least an hour when he came strolling past the open door and performed a double take. "Elena?" he questioned, faltering. "I didn't know you were here". The corner of his lip lilted up in a curious quirk and I instantly flashbacked to the burning desperation that was in his stare when he told me he loved me.

At loss for words I realized 'just winging it' had been a bad plan, for the first time in a long time I had no idea how to act around Damon. Letting my eyes fall back down to the desk in front of me I shuffled some papers into their correct order and elaborated "I didn't want things here piling up, I needed to come back to work."

After watching him nod slowly, I continued breezily as he got over the shock of discovering me. "I remembered that last night was you and Alaric's poker night so I let Bertie know to make breakfast a little later to give you a chance to sleep in."

His jaw locked and his cheekbones stiffened and I wished with all that I was that I could carry the courage to face our issue right now. "Thanks" he spoke flatly. "I'm also going to need you to call the florist and have them send a bouquet of roses to 44 Park Avenue."

Scratching my ball point pen over the notepad sitting next to me, my hand halted as I recalled the address. I recognized it as Rose Slater's, the daughter of one of New York's most wealthy businessmen. Sophisticated and educated, she was often in the socialite pages of the New York Times and was almost the complete opposite of the kind of women Damon usually chose to associate with. "For Rose Slater?" I confirmed, trying to keep the curiosity out of the tone of my voice.

"That's the one" he explained. "I'm taking Rose to the black and white ball tonight and I want her to know I'm thinking about her."

His words cut deeper then they had a right to. Damon just didn't _do _dates, and he certainly didn't escort girls to his company's balls. He knew the media would pick up on a power couple like that straight away and it would be everywhere tomorrow. Rose wasn't the kind of girl you screwed and threw away, and he knew exactly what kind of statement he would be making by showing up in public with her. He was actually going to treat this seriously, something had changed.

As he made a move to exit the room I understood this was the definitive moment, we either discussed what needed to be discussed or hid it under the floorboards and let it fester away. He was obviously letting me make the decision for us. "Wait" I appealed, catching his elbow with my fingertips, hoping we could work through this together.

He turned slowly to face me, his face unreadable and his eyes focused over my shoulder not meeting mine. "Are you going to tell me something that's going to make it worth it to have this conversation?" he inquired coldly.

Anger bloomed and unfurled in my stomach, he was going to block me out unless I could tell him exactly what he wanted to hear; something I wasn't sure I could voice to him yet. "This is why" I breathed softly.

"This is why what?" he asked, finally meeting my gaze. He evidently had expected me not to challenge him.

"This is exactly why I can't tell you what you want to hear" I explained calmly. And I knew it wasn't fair that I was blaming everything on his faults, because a large part of it was my inability to work through feelings and face things head on but his blanket refusal to speak to me was enraging. "You told me _you loved me_ yesterday and you're already taking Rose out tonight?". Ignoring his slight flinch at my reference to his confession I accused "How can you expect me to take anything you say seriously when you're so volatile".

"Because I knew how this was all going to play out Elena, it was never going to be in my favor. Let me down gently right?" he spat sarcastically. "I have to move on. Rose is a good girl, time for me to start being responsible and face reality."

Without knowing it had been there, I felt like I had lost a vital part of my insides. I had been proved right though. At least I had found out my suspicions of his ability to hurt me were correct straight away and not after I had already been sucked in deeper. Realizing I hadn't let go of his arm since we started talking I hastily removed my fingers like his skin was burning and moved back to behind the desk. "I'll get those flowers organized straight away for you Mr. Salvatore."

He opened his mouth like he was going to say something but shut it again quickly and walked out, closing the door quietly behind him. I guess I got what I wished for, I'd asked him for a professional employee/boss relationship, and now that's all there would be.

The small amount of contracts, bills to be payed and other miscellaneous items that had piled up in my absence took longer to complete than I had expected. I was still working at it late in the evening when Damon came downstairs to escort Rose to the ball. Turning on the radio to drown out their voices, the melodies of Loretta Lynn floated around the room and I knew Alberto had been using the radio, tuning it to his favorite country station.

"You look exhausted Elena"

Glancing up, I smiled my first genuine smile of the day at Alaric who had shuffled through the door, squinting in the shadowy room. Surprised at his reaction, I noticed dusk had already crept up to the window and flicked the desk lamp on. "You sure do know how to make a girl feel special Ric" I teased. Brushing off his apologies, I agreed with him "It's been a long couple of days".

"Going by Damon's temper when I arrived I'd wager to say your first day back didn't go well?" he observed, lowering himself down into the chair in front of me. "And you don't want to talk about it" he stated after reading my face correctly.

I shook my head but pointed to his tuxedo "I will say you shine up very well though. You're going with Damon and Rose to the ball?".

"Yeah, he's forcing Cindy and I double it with them" he informed me, his frown deepening. He rated dancing at the same level on the suck scale as running out of his best scotch.

"Oh right Cindy, the new girlfriend" I recalled, grinning encouragingly at him, trying to stamp out the image of Damon blissfully double dating. "But I know that face Ric, you didn't just come in here to say hi and complain about dancing did you?".

He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, crossing his legs one way and then the other before settling on leaning forward and resting his chin on his steepled fingers. I could only pray this wasn't another conversation about Damon and I, I'd reached my limit for the day.

"I haven't told Damon yet, but I got a letter from Stefan's attorney this morning. It looks like he wants to go after Damon hard, they're not scared of dragging it through the courts." He rubbed his eyes fiercely and I noticed he was just as exhausted as I was.

My heart sinking at the revelation, I sighed and asked kindly "Why haven't you told Damon yet?".

"Because I'm not _only_ his lawyer, he's my best friend and I'm not relishing seeing his face when I have to deliver the news." he threw up his hands hopelessly. "So I was wondering if maybe..."

"If maybe what Ric?" I prodded suspiciously, raising an eyebrow and not liking the route his speech was taking.

"If you could talk to Stefan and see if there is someway we can get him to drop the case. I'm going to be honest with you Elena, if he's serious about pursuing this he could have a good chance of winning and getting half of everything Damon has worked his ass off for."

A stream of giggles escaped my lips and I pressed a fist to my lips to stop them from escaping "Why in the sweet hell would you think Stefan would listen to a word I have to say?". The whole scenario was absurd.

"Technically I shouldn't even be advising you to do this, I'm walking the line of illegality by doing it. But long before I was Damon's lawyer I was friends with both of the Salvatores in college, and Stefan just wasn't a bad guy. He did a shitty, shitty thing but I just don't believe going after his brother is something he really wants. Obviously I can't ask anything of him and Damon is too stubborn to even try, I think you could have a shot."

Biting my lip, I realized Alaric was actually winning me over. I tried to say strong "This is none of my business, I don't thi-".

"You're the only one I can trust" He interrupted, shrugging dejectedly. "It's Damon, Elena".

I caved at his last words as I always knew I would. Damon did not deserve to lose everything he had put his blood and sweat into and have his only remaining family member take him to court. I still cared, probably always would and if I could help I should at least try. "Fine, yes, okay i'll do it" I acquiesced nervously. "But he can't know I had anything to do with this."

Alaric let out a sharp stream of air through his lips in relief and nodded "I'm not going to say anything, if Stefan doesn't listen to you then i'll go ahead and tell Damon about the case."

Hearing Damon's voice growing closer in the hall outside, calling out for Alaric, I said a quick goodbye "Text me the information on how to contact him". I followed him to the door and added lightly "Have fun tonight".

He gave me a fleeting sympathetic look that I couldn't quite decipher and then was gone, leaving me to mull over what I had just decided to do.

I spent the next two days while working avoiding Damon around the house as much as possible for the blatant multiple reasons. I knew it had got to the point of ridiculousness when I flew into the linen closest just to dodge him coming down the hallway, but on the plus side I did find the bottle of Febreze I had lost two years ago.

Taking an extra long lunch break, I slipped out to meet Stefan at our prearranged meeting place, the little French cafe three blocks away. He had been surprised but polite when I had called to ask to meet up with him, accepting without question that I would divulge my reasoning in person. Picking flakes off my croissant when he arrived, I rose awkwardly to briskly shake his hand. "Thank you for coming " I greeted, trying not to panic at the task I faced, knowing what was at stake if I failed.

"It was a pleasure to hear from you Miss. Gilbert" he responded warmly, pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head. Once again I was struck at the contrast between the siblings. Although Stefan had a facade that was niceness personified, I quickly realized I preferred Damon's raw, honest way of handling things. I waited until the expresso he had ordered arrived before getting down to business. Thinking it over my head of how to gradually move into the conversation, I eventually said to hell with it and dove right in. "I asked you to meet me here to speak about your brother." Not breaking my gaze, I continued "We were hoping there is some way we could persuade you to keep this out of the court and work this out amicably."

He laughed bitterly, shaking his head and looking away "Unbelievable. It's exactly like my brother to send someone else to do his dirty work. In case you forgot, I came to him first _wanting _to avoid the legal route."

This was absolutely not going the way I'd hoped. Bristling, I snapped back before I could shut my mouth "Maybe if you weren't trying to take what isn't yours after fucking his fiancé he wouldn't have had to throw you out." I took a long drink from my china teacup so I could avoid his angry stare he was throwing my way in response. I abruptly noticed his eyes then softening and following the trajectory of my wrist.

"How long have you been dating my brother?" he questioned curiously. Noting my nonplussed expression he elaborated, pointing at the bracelet on my arm "You're wearing my mother's jewelry. Damon wouldn't have given that to you unless you were somebody important in his life."

Still wary of his intentions I leant back into my chair "We're not dating, not that it's any of your concern. But we had... have a close friendship." I hoped he hadn't noted my blunder and wouldn't work out things between me and his brother weren't exactly peachy keen at the moment.

"Look, I know you must think I'm a despicable person for what I did but believe me I was payed back in spades for running away with Katherine. I gave up my family, only for a woman who I thought I loved to screw me over. And as much as I hate my reunion with Damon to be because I need money, that's the way it has to be."

Either he was an exemplary actor or he was genuinely sorry for what he did to his brother, but that didn't balance out the fact he was after what wasn't his. Trying to get the conversation back on track I asked "But why? Can't you get a job, manage on your own like every other grownup?".

Surprised when he looked actually hurt at my words, I watched him study me closely, deciding if to clarify something. "Because it's just not me anymore I have to take care of" he started, coughing and moving in his chair. "Katherine and I had a child that she deserted as well when she left. I don't know what I'm doing, I have no clue on how to raise a baby. I don't know where else to turn so I can support the both of us, Katherine cleaned out my trust fund."

Knowing he wouldn't be telling me all of this if he wasn't so alone, I couldn't miss the lost expression all over his face. I smiled pleasantly at the wallet sized photograph of his one year old daughter he held out for me to look at. "Why didn't you tell Damon in the first place? I'm sure he would of been more open to listening to you if you had".

"Because I'm ashamed, because I didn't know if it would have made him angrier."

Feeling the familiar fierce, burning desire to protect the brother of the man in front of me I declared "Know this Stefan, I won't keep it a secret from him. I think you don't want to risk pulling this all through the courts and risk losing even more money. I can talk to him, this can be salvaged."

His shoulders slumped and the fight just disappeared from him "If you can get him to agree to talk to me again, i'll call my lawyer off." Pushing his chair back, he scrawled an address on an old receipt "This is the hotel we're staying at if you need to get hold of me. I think maybe you could be the one to break through to him."

I bridled at the insinuation I was doing any of this for Stefan's benefit. Damon could have the chance to heal the rift with his sibling and be an uncle, _that's_ why I was doing it, so maybe he could finally let go of the hurt he holds inside of him that eats him up. "I'll try Mr. Salvatore."

Noticing my reversion back to last name basis, he nodded and took his leave down the busy sidewalk. It was only an hour later when my cell lit up with phone calls, most of which I ignored as I tried on some new clothes in the changing room of a sweet little boutique down the street. Bonnie was persistent though, her ringtone starting again almost as soon as it stopped for at least a continuous five minutes.

"Hey Bonnie, long time no see" I answered as I clumsily attempted to pull a cashmere sweater over my head while speaking.

"_Can you tell me why I'm staring at a gossip website that has pictures of you and Damon's brother sitting together and eating at a restaurant?" _ She asked, bypassing all pleasantries and skipping straight to the point as usual.

I froze "What?"

"_Yeah they're all captioned with the very witty title of 'Switching Salvatores: Is history repeating itself?'. And then goes on to talk about how you're rendezvousing with the estranged brother of Damon Salvatore, who of course they are still convinced you are dating. Basically they are setting you up to be Katherine 2.0."_

Sliding down onto the tiny bench in the corner I rubbed my temples slowly "It's not what it looks like Bonnie, I promise".

I heard her tone soften a few notches "_I believe you Elena, many wouldn't."_

"Has Damon seen it?" I queried, voicing my worst fear. I knew he would instantly jump to the wrong conclusion; that I was going behind his back, not that I blamed him. But if he had only waited a few more hours I would have been telling him about the whole thing anyways.

_"I had to let him know, it's my job". _She paused and then decided to divulge the rest of her information _"He's freaking out Elena, you should go and clear this up with him"._

"I'm on my way" I responded, hanging up before she got a chance to answer. Picking up my purse, I steeled myself for what was waiting for me.

* * *

**A/N**- I can't apologize enough for the wait for this update, I was hoping to be able to write while on vacation but it just didn't work out that way. Now that I'm back home I'm aiming for weekly updates again. And at the risk of sounding repetitive I can't thank you all enough for the response to this story. From reading to reviewing it all means so much to me. I try to respond to every review I get, so I hope I haven't missed any! See you all on twitter (Summerw12344)


	6. Chapter 6

_**I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day. -**_**The Notebook**

* * *

I sat in my car for about twenty minutes in front of Damon's house, picking at the peeling vinyl on my steering wheel before straightening my linen blouse and making my way inside. I heard him before I could see him, pacing heavily on the pine floorboards down the hall in the living room. Bizarrely, I was completely calm. I could see it as clearly as if I was watching a movie how the situation was going to pan out. Granted, confessions of love threw me for a loop, but Damon throwing temper tantrums? _That_ I deserved a gold medal in handling.

I leant against the door frame waiting for him to take notice. Eventually, he turned on his heel and caught sight of me, his usually blue eyes black with rage. "Dammit Elena!" he barked, swiping a small potted plant crashing onto the floor. "You had me fooled, you really did."

I felt his eyes following me as I sighed and strode over to him, kneeling down and righting the shrub. "Really Damon, this is why we can't have nice things" I smirked, dusting soil from my palms. I rose to full height, unflinchingly meeting his stare "C'mon let it all out, let me have it." I resigned myself to some hurtful comments being lobbed my way.

A flash of uncertainty at my passive demeanor crossed through his eyes before in true stubborn Damon fashion he pushed it all away and started to rant. "Sneaking around with my brother behind my back Elena? If I didn't know better I would think Katherine was back in town."

Uncalled for, but I could halfway understand how this might have looked like a watered down repeat of what Katherine did. I cut a heated look at him from under my eyelashes "I'm going to choose to ignore you just said that."

Resuming his pacing, he gesticulated frantically with his hands as he spoke; a sure sign of his temper overtaking him. "I mean not that we were engaged like her and I were or anything" he scoffed derisively. "But I thought there was some level of loyalty between us after all this time, I guess I was imagining it." An idea seemed to hit him "This is some fucked up payback for taking Rose out isn't it? A 'you don't want me but nobody else can have me' kind of deal?"

I let my focus stray around the room as he continued his diatribe. "Oh absolutely Damon, whatever you say." I interjected periodically, letting him run out of steam.

Stuttering to a stop, he finally realized he wasn't getting a reaction from me and looked over "Wait, what? Why are you just mindlessly agreeing to whatever I'm saying? Don't you have some bullshit excuses you want to try out?."

"Are you done?" I asked sternly, sensing he was ready to listen. After he nodded, I walked back over to where he was standing and palmed his shoulders, pushing him forcefully down onto the sofa. Ignoring the tight muscles tensing under his skin, I kept my hands in place and bent down to look at him face to face "Look me in the eyes, Damon. Before I start explaining anything I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me if you really believe I would mess around with Stefan as some sort of petty revenge for you going out with Rose." I took a deep breath and searched his eyes intensely, hoping this was going to turn out the way I was counting on. "I am _not _Katherine. Whatever has been happening between us lately, I would never go behind your back with the mission to hurt you."

I watched as he let my words sink in. He licked his lips nervously "But..."

"But nothing" I interrupted, ruching his shirt slightly under my fingers. "It's_ me_, Damon. Can you look at me after all we've been through together and truly accept that I would do something like that?". I held my breath, if it had been anyone else standing in front of him asking what I was asking, he would let the evidence speak for itself and throw them out of the house. But I had proven myself again and again and I wanted him to realize he had me completely on his side. Without really knowing why, I _needed _him to place his trust in me. Not for me, but for him, so he truly understood he had one person to rely on unconditionally. Something that had been sorely lacking in his life.

He nodded slowly, his face cautious as he took in my unwavering conviction "Alright, I believe there is more to the story, that you weren't being vindictive. God help me but I do."

An ocean of release fled through me. Whether his love for me was in the past or present tense, at least he had some confidence that I still had some redeeming qualities left. Descending onto the glass topped coffee table in front of him, I perched on the edge nervously twisting my fingers in the hem of my skirt, my slender legs confined in the gap between his open longer ones. Now that the climax of the drama had passed, I was finding it difficult describing just exactly what I had been doing with Stefan.

I offered lamely "Well thanks for giving me the chance to explain". Taking a deep breath, I let it all come rushing out in run-on sentences "You see, Alaric let me know that Stefan had actually stuck to his word and got himself a lawyer and was going to go after you. We decided together that I should talk to Stefan to see if there was something we could do to persuade him not to." I broke off, shocked when Damon let out a deep, gravelly chuckle.

"So really what you're saying is this was one of Ric's schemes and he pulled you into it." Sobering, he eyed me carefully "And you tried to help, for me?"

Ignoring all the issues that had occurred between us lately, I rested one of my hands lightly on his, not even pulling back when I felt him flinch. "Of course I did Damon. Again, I'm not Katherine and I'm not your brother. I'm your friend and that means I'm going to have your back, you don't have to constantly walk around worrying that I'm going to stab you in it."

"Elena, I don-"

I cut him off and informed "Before you finish that thought, there is something more I need to to tell you. Stefan and Katherine had a child- a daughter. When Katherine left, she took the remains of his trust fund with her, leaving Stefan with the baby and no idea what to do with it." I added "That's the real reason he needs the money."

As expected Damon's first defense was anger and disbelief "And you believe that? He's playing on your do-gooder personality Elena. Even if it is true, do you actually feel sorry for him?"

I _did_ believe what Stefan had told me, but that didn't mean I was team Stefan by any means "Do I think he's telling the truth? Yes. Do I feel bad for him? Not particularly, especially after what he did to you. I'm hesitant to say he deserves even a penny of your money. However, that child is innocent in all this Damon, and maybe instead of money you could help Stefan in other ways, as a brother and as an uncle."

At the mention of the word uncle, Damon shifted in his seat and ran his hands over his face "I don't know if I could eve-. Look, I just need some time to take this all in and then maybe I'll consider approaching Stefan to talk again."

Slightly ecstatic he wasn't immediately throwing the idea out, I smiled and nodded. Halting our conversation from continuing any further, Alaric came crashing through the door, his face flushed with beads of sweat on his brow line.

"Wait" he wheezed, bent over with one hand pushed out and the other resting on his knee. "It wasn't Elena's fault that she was with Stefan, it was mine. It isn't what you're thinking Damon."

"Ric it's-" I started, but Damon shook his head quickly, interrupting, his eyes glinting.

Damon looked gravely at me "So that's all there is to it Elena, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to let you go".

I tilted my head to the side and rolled my eyes at him, a grin tugging at my lips. Alaric looked mortified and started sputtering garbled explanations. Kindly stopping Alaric before he had an early onset heart attack, I divulged "Ric, really it's fine. Damon knows about everything and he doesn't blame us. He's just being his usual incorrigible asshole self and trying to make a poor joke."

Alaric straightened up and his eyes narrowed "I don't know why I agree to associate with you sometimes. You can be such a dick"

"You're whipped by the charm of Damon Salvatore, what can I say" Damon shrugged, laughing. And when even Alaric had to join in chuckling it finally felt like things were gradually getting back to a sort of normal, albeit slowly.

Over the next couple of weeks Damon and I stopped trying to avoid each other at every possible opportunity and it made my work far, far easier when I could actually work along side the man. Although the awkwardness was gently disappearing, there was a wall between us that had never stood there before, there were fewer laughs to be had and there was no more hanging out together outside of work hours.

Much to my surprise, without prompting, Damon had given the order to let Stefan know that he was willing to sit down and talk with him again. Whether this was only a move to stop Stefan's legal aspirations or if it was out of a flicker of concern for his brother, I didn't know. Nonetheless, Stefan kept to his word and called off his attorney, agreeing on a tentative date to meet.

Rose became a familiar face around the house and was a frequent partner of Damon's to the functions and gatherings he was made to attend. This was a whole new ball game for me, Damon had never had a steady girlfriend during the time I had been employed by him. Unsure of how to act, I chose to stay away from seeing them together, so I had no real indication if they were a good match. Though on the few occasions I ran into Rose while she was by herself, she seemed nice enough; brusque but pleasant. Still, something about her niggled at me, notably when she would walk into the house like she owned it.

Because of our limited exchanges, I was shocked when she called me in the early hours of one Sunday night. "Rose?" I questioned sleepily trying to become cognizant enough to understand what she was saying in her clipped English accent.

_"Elena_" she responded, sounding remarkably awake for the time. "_Terribly sorry to bother you but I think you're going to need to come over and check on Damon."_

Fearing the worst, complete with flashbacks of him being arrested, I panicked "Check on Damon? What do you mean?".

_"Oh it's nothing that serious. He came down with the flu and is running a fairly high fever. He wont let-"_

Knowing what she was about to say, I interrupted "Let me guess, he's being stubborn and won't let you call the doctor."

_"Yes, that's exactly it. Although I'm sure he'll be fine, I feel uncomfortable leaving him alone. Alberto is on vacation, so the house is completely empty. You wouldn't mind sitting with him, would you?"._

If this had happened a few months ago, there would have been no question, I would have been over in a shot. But with our new lines drawn and with Rose being in the picture, I definitely did not feel like playing nursemaid was something I should be doing anymore. "Oh look Rose, I'm sure he would much rather you be with him. It's not exactly my place."

She paused "_Elena, who are you kidding? We both know this isn't about if it's in your job description or not, you care. I've tried to help but I can't do anything right, he's being very difficult and I seem to be just annoying him."_

I understood perfectly how difficult Damon could get when he was sick, right down to needing the temperature of his water to be an exact degree. "Yeah, he can be quite the brat when he's ill" I commiserated.

I could hear her laughing softly in agreement "_Elena, he doesn't want me here. He's...he's been asking for you."_

Feeling for both Rose and Damon, I caved and agreed to come straight over. I wasn't completely surprised to find Rose gone when I arrived at his house, I figured she ran as soon as she put the phone down, ready to venture back only when Damon was safely at full health.

I flung a ready-made container of chicken soup in the microwave and filled a mug with honey tea, rolling my eyes about how well I knew Damon's demands and how ridiculous they were. After the broth had finished heating I put it all on a tray, mixed some Theraflu into his hot drink and quietly made my way upstairs to his bedroom.

"Damon" I whispered, feeling blindly for someplace to put the tray down in the darkness. With the back of my hand I touched his forehead, cringing when I could feel his clamminess. "Wake up buddy."

He coughed wetly and repositioned himself under the sheets, the congestion sounding heavy on his chest. "Don't feel good" he moaned. "Get Elena."

"It is Elena" I announced, noting that the flu had hit him harder than I had expected. I picked up the mug "You just need to wake up enough to drink this then you can go back to sleep. Don't be a baby."

As expected my jibe caused him to become conscious enough to furrow his eyebrows at me and shakily take the cup from my hands, downing it all in one long gulp. He slumped back down into his pillows and I turned to go and throw away the now cold soup that I knew there was no chance of him consuming tonight. "Stay" he requested, already halfway asleep. "Please".

Although I would never admit it, in his feverish state it astonishingly felt like nothing had changed between us. His inert condition allowed me to act completely confident around him, never having to second guess that my decisions could be misconstrued. "Okay" I relented and climbed up onto the bed to join him "Get some shut eye. I'll be right here." Pushing the damp locks of hair away from his temple I cold feel my own pressing weariness and fell asleep beside him.

I jolted myself awake several hours later, forgetting for a second where I was. Glancing over at Damon, I found him watching me carefully, his trademark smirk playing on his lips. Taking in his slightly less flushed skin and noticeably more focused eyes I breathed a small sigh of relief realizing his fever had broken. "Watching me sleep is taking your creeper status to new heights Salvatore."

"I like seeing you like this, all fresh faced and untroubled" he shrugged. "Sue me".

"Oh you definitely must still be delirious" I teased after seeing what he could see reflected in the full length mirror, my face devoid of make-up and my hair looking like rats were nesting in it. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" I inquired as I caught sight of him unstably pushing himself off the bed and reaching for his clothes from the wardrobe.

He looked back at me like I was speaking in tongues "Getting dressed for work?".

"Hahaha, uh, how about no. You're going to take the day off." As if to prove my point he wobbled and pressed a palm against the wall to steady himself. I got up and dangled one of his arms over my shoulders, guiding him back onto his vast bed. Huh, I kinda liked it when he was too weak to protest my orders and stopped his constant bitching. "We can work from home for one day, it's not going to kill you."

"Where's Rose? I think she was here last night?" he remembered vaguely. "None of it's very clear."

Trying to keep the hint of sourness out of my voice, I responded "She thought it'd be easier if I took care of you. I'm sure she'll be back as soon as you can get her in the papers again." _Shit_, that came out harsher then I intended. Damon quirked an eyebrow at my criticism but thankfully chose not to comment. "I'm going to take a quick shower then we can get some work done" I enlightened him, trying to change the subject back from Rose. "Without you moving from this bed" I warned, pointing a finger his way.

"Sounds like my kind of office" he teased lasciviously.

Rolling my eyes, I walked to the bathroom, expertly throwing my hair up into a messy bun, and trying to ignore the way his eyes trailed up the lines of my exposed neck

We took the day slowly, working on his easier accounts and while Damon took frequent naps I sat on the armchair next to the bed with a laptop on my knees, working on my writing. Just as I was getting sucked into weaving a short story together, I felt Damon tracing a fingernail up the sole of my bare foot, which I had elevated to rest on the side of the mattress. I jerked my foot back, both of us laughing at how ticklish I was "Are you just annoying me because you're bored or are you actually ready to get some more work done?"

"I can't sleep with you tapping away at the keys so heavily" he taunted, ignoring my question. "What are you doing on there anyways?"

Avoiding answering for the moment, I observed "Turns out even when you're running a 101º temp you're still nosy as hell, good to know." And then I'm not completely sure what swayed me to do it, but I decided to confess to him about my writing. I even found myself nervous about how he would react, it wasn't often I shared something so rawly personal about _myself_, especially about something I hadn't told _anyone_. "I was writing, it's kind of like a hobby I guess" I said, twirling a strand of hair around my finger and waiting for him to laugh.

"You don't get a lot of time to follow what you're passionate about do you?" he responded, surprising me with a completely different remark from what I'd expected. "You have to spend your life chasing my whims".

Although it was in some respects true that I had sacrificed parts of my personal life for working with Damon, I had also gained a lot in return. And I in no way held any resentment towards him for giving me a job I'm sure others would kill for. "Sometimes work gets busy, it happens to every one else in on the planet. If i've let any opportunities slip by that's on me, not you."

He nodded thoughtfully and then brightened "Can I read some?". He nodded towards my laptop "Something you've written?"

"It's not very good" I flushed. "But yeah I suppose, one day".

Seeming pleased with the answer I had chosen to give, he grinned and rolled onto his side, hugging his pillow and falling back to sleep.

A few days later after Damon had fully recovered I was rushing down the maze of hallways in Salvatore Corp., my arms spilling over with papers that needed to be xeroxed and filed. Focusing intently on not dropping them as I entered one of the multiple elevators, I scarcely avoided knocking into Damon who was preening and squinting in the mirrored walls. I joked "What's the weight limit of these things? I want to make sure it'll be able to carry all three of us. You, me and your ego."

"Don't get all mad just because_ everything_ about me is supersized ".

Practically tasting the wink in his voice, I grinned, feeling a pleasurable warmth spread in my stomach that we were back to a place in our relationship where we could mercilessly goad each other. "Where are you going anyways? Don't we have that meeting with a prospective client in 10 minutes?" Trying to remember the name of the person we were supposed to be meeting, I became suspicious when I noticed Damon blatantly avoiding my gaze. "Damon?" I encouraged dubiously.

"I put down a fake name of a client so you wouldn't know who we were really going to meet." he explained guiltily. "We're actually going to go see Stefan."

I shook my head in disbelief and desperately pressed the button for a random floor, trying to escape. "Nope, no way. Not going to happen." His face unmoving, I defended myself "Damon, this is a conversation he wants to have with _you_. Me tagging along is something you don't need. Anyways, shouldn't Alaric, as your lawyer, be with you?"

He shook his head "No, Ric already prepped me with the legal outlines of what I could and couldn't offer. Elena" he said, a faint hint of pleading entering his voice, something that was very rare to hear with him. "Stefan already feels comfortable around you. Hell, I wouldn't even be doing this if it wasn't for you. You keep me calm, and I don't particularly want to end up in jail again for punching his lights out or something." He scratched his head and playing his trump card perfectly, added reluctantly "I need you."

Against my better judgement I felt myself nodding my head "Fine, but I'm only coming for moral support or whatever."

The doors slid open and his shoulders lowered in what I presumed was relief. Following him out of the elevator and the building, I pondered how I found myself in this situation yet again.

Stefan had arranged to meet us at the same cafe he had met me at before, and once more we arrived before he did. Finally, after minutes of watching Damon glare at his coffee rather than drink it, the other Salvatore came up to our table; his lips set in a determined line.

"Damon, Elena" he nodded at each of us respectively. Next, he shook my hand and then went to shake his brother's, his arm falling back to his side after Damon pointedly ignored his gesture.

_Well, this is off to a great start_ I thought miserably, tactfully nudging Damon to remind him about his previously made promise that he was going to be more open to Stefan this time around.

"Where's little... um?" Damon intoned flatly, realizing at the last second he didn't know Stefan's daughter's name.

"Lydia" Stefan illuminated. "She's back at the hotel. I wasn't, uh sure if you wanted to meet her." He pulled a pack of cigarettes out from his back jean pocket. "Smoke?" he offered, holding one out towards his brother while lighting his own.

I intercepted the white stick before Damon could reach out and accept, crushing it beneath my heel. "He quit a few years ago" I let Stefan know, speaking out loud for the first time since we sat down. It wasn't that I was waging some crusade against smokers, it didn't really bother me, but I had been through Damon quitting the first time, and it wasn't an experience I wasn't itching to repeat.

Stefan took one long drag of his own cigarette before stamping it out, obviously hesitant to provoke Damon in any way. "So" he started cautiously. "Thanks for agreeing to rethink your decision."

Letting out a guttural, mocking laugh Damon shook his head "Oh I'm not rethinking my decision, you're still not getting any portion of the business or my inheritance."

Stefan's face hardened and like me, I was sure he was questioning what the point of the meeting was for if Damon hadn't changed his stand on anything.

"However, what I am propositioning is a job position at the company" Damon continued, leaving me to wonder if I had heard him correctly.

"A job?" Stefan asked, confused. "What kind of job exactly?"

Damon's grin grew even wider, his teeth bared "Well, Elena here has worked her ass off for me for years and has earned the right to having fewer work hours. I'm going to need someone to fill in on her extra days off".

Trying not to butt in and ask Damon just exactly what he was talking about, I schooled my face into a knowing look. Obviously, Damon needed me to act like this had all been planned beforehand and that I was well informed about it

"You want me to be your PA? I'm supposed to follow you around and clean up your messes? I don't think so" Stefan contested in disbelief. "No offense Elena" he added as an afterthought, looking at me.

"None taken" I assured, trying too hard to follow along to bother to get upset by his views.

Damon shook his middle finger teasingly "Uh, uh, uh you wouldn't be my PA, that's Elena's title. I like to think of it as a trainee PA or even better...bitch boy."

Covering my face with my hands in embarrassment, I kicked myself for not realizing in advance that Damon was going to use this opportunity to humiliate Stefan in any way possible. I was once again powerfully reminded of why Damon was such a successful businessman, he could be a shark when he wanted and Stefan had just found himself surrounded in the ocean. But, I knew that a part of Damon, however miniscule it may be, was doing this to help his niece.

"Do you really have a choice?" Damon asked with faux innocence. 'It's better than nothing isn't it? You do have a child to take care of now."

Trying to unbalance Damon with a question, Stefan countered "So you changed your mind about helping me for Elena? That's quite an about face for the benefit of an employee."

Not to be outmaneuvered, Damon only chucked "What can I say? She's a pretty special girl".

I dipped my head as both brothers turned to stare at me intensely. "And if I agree to this and prove myself to you, I want a chance to work my way up the ladder and maybe even buy into the company." Stefan bargained, knowing he was cornered.

"We'll see." Damon settled luxuriously back into his chair, liking that the meeting had turned out in his favor. "Pleasure doing business with you brother". Now he happily stuck his hand out to shake Stefan's, who took it grudgingly. After letting Damon know he would call for the finer details and a start date, he left, probably in a lousier mood then the one he came with.

"Surprise!" Damon announced, turning towards me on his chair after we had been left alone. 'What?" he queried after seeing my heated glare.

Fatigued, I requested "Can we keep this simple and you don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about."

Looking very pleased with himself, he settled his linked hands on his toned stomach and answered "After our little talk the other day I realized you needed some more time off. You will only have to work half the days you do now, your salary is still going to remain the same but now you can, I don't know, chase your own dreams and all that kind of crap".

"Nicely put" I couldn't help but laugh at his blunt way of modeling his offer. "Damon, are you sure this is what you want? Because whatever you may believe I _am_ happy with the way things work now."

His previous glee from aggravating his brother seemed to dampen "I need to let you have your own life sometime. Besides, it solved my Stefan problem too."

I only nodded, knowing he wasn't going to be swayed from his decision and we rose from our chairs in sync. As we silently made our way side by side down the sidewalk to his car, I realized I had absolutely no idea how I felt about the coming developments. I should have been ecstatic, it was a perfect compromise where I could pursue my own desires while at the same time not having to leave my comfort with Damon. Yet, as usual when a change was about to come the future seemed a very uncertain place.

* * *

_**A/N-** _Sorry once again for the lateness in getting this out, but life just kind of got on top of me. I hope this chapter didn't bore you all too much and I can say they will be some advancement on the romance front for Delena in the next chapter. For all the readers and reviewers, thank you, thank you, thank you. I wouldn't be writing this if it wasn't for you. x


	7. Chapter 7

**_We'll always have Paris_ -Casablanca**

* * *

Monday morning started off appallingly. There was no hot water to be found in my apartment, like anywhere, and the janitor lazily informed me it would take at least a week to fix. After taking a freezing cold shower that could rival taking a dip in the Atlantic, I caught my fingernail on _two_ sets of pantyhose causing me to have to go barelegged _and_ I spilled O.J all down my skirt. Of course all this had to happen on the day Stefan was due to start at Salvatore Corp. and I was supposed to be there in the morning to help the transition. I was, of course, late.

Damon's office walls were all glass so as I arrived I was comforted to see no sign of the other brother yet, but only Damon with his patent leather shoes perched on his desk and talking animately into the phone. I quietly opened the door to enter and shrugged apologetically in response to his raised eyebrows.

"Great speaking with you Miranda, i'll talk to you soon. Okay... you too, bye now."

I stared at him as he placed the phone back into it's cradle, not really believing what I was hearing. "Wait, Was that Miranda... as in my mother Miranda?" I asked incredulously, wondering what my mother and Damon could possibly have to converse about.

He grinned "The one and only." He lowered his feet back to the floor and stood up, stretching with his hands reaching high above his head. "We talk sometimes, I'll have you know I'm a very good listener Elena. And we like to trade our top-secret jelly recipes".

Shaking my head in disbelief, I started "Uh huh, I'm sure you do. How did you even-". I threw my hands up in surrender "You know what? I'm not even going to ask, it's way too early for this. Stefan isn't here yet? "

Damon pulled a face "No, lucky for you who's _extremely_ tardy, he's also late."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. There was a whole hot water debacle and my janitor is dragging his feet." Walking over to pick up his tie from where he had carelessly strewn it on the back of a chair, I looped it around his neck and concentrated on knotting it. "Can you ever keep these things on for more than five minutes? I feel like I'm constantly putting them back onto you."

He shrugged, smiling "They're constricting and I don't do constricting." His eyes watched the top of my head as I worked "Ready for your first day of freedom and for king of the hair products to take some of the load off?"

"Damon" I warned, finishing off the tie and patting his chest twice "We talked about how you were going to give this a fair chance remember? And that means being moderately polite to him."

"Oh but I can have a little fun, can't I?"

I glanced up meeting his dancing eyes and couldn't help replying with a wide smile of my own "Just be good okay?". His eyesight flickered to something over my shoulder and I turned around to see Rose standing in the doorway. Realizing what it must of looked like to her with my hands still resting on his chest, I blushed and moved my arms back to my side, fully aware my nervous reaction made me look even guiltier.

"Excuse me" she muttered as she spun on her heel and walked back down the way she came.

Damon made a move to follow her, but knowing it was my fault she had gotten the wrong idea I stopped him from advancing "Hold on, let me." Maybe she would respond better to a fellow female or something.

"Rose wait!" I called, chasing her down and catching up. "That wasn't what it looked like" I babbled, wincing at the overused platitude.

She crossed her arms "Elena, look, I don't know what's between the both of you". Shaking her head, she corrected herself "Okay no, I have a fair idea, but I don't _really _know and I feel like I'm caught up in the middle of something I shouldn't be."

"There is _nothing _untoward going on between us" I protested, mortified that I had somehow caused a negative impact on her relationship with Damon. "I promise."

Running her hands through her layered short haircut she laughed softly "Oh there's always going to be something going on, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not." Stopping the objections I'm sure she knew were about to come from me, she confessed "Believe it or not, I went into this with my eyes open. I wasn't aware of _you_ of course, but I knew Damon wasn't the kind of guy that was going to fall for me or be all hearts and flowers, and thankfully we're very much alike. We have fun, but that is as deep as my feelings go."

"Oh" I replied dumbly, not sure how to take what she was confiding.

"Still, the real deciding factor was after a night of drinking too much he called me your name while we were in bed together, that was quite the cherry on top. A little degrading of course, but at least I knew the score." Concluding sedately, she cited "I can deal with it if it's just a one sided infatuation from him, but if it's returned? I think I should bow out." She handed me a small wicker basket covered with a checkered cloth "I brought him some lunch, will you tell him I'll call later?"

I wasn't even going to pretend I was shocked by her admission, Damon had told me flat out to my face about his feelings and I shouldn't be surprised by them not magically disappearing like we had been pretending. Although, it was unfortunate they had to manifest themselves in bed. Forcing a smile, I ensured "I'll pass along the message". I began to beleive everyone but me could see that Damon and I were just magnets with no hope of avoiding each other.

Stefan suddenly appearing warily at my shoulder served the dual purpose of distracting me from watching Rose exit and enabling me to yet again evade the train-wreck of what was going on in my personal life, I was sure my perpetual insistence of pushing everything to one side would come back to bite me in the ass in the most spectacular of ways. "Here, you like chocolate chip cookies?" I offered the bakery treats to Stefan after removing them from Rose's basket, knowing Damon found them too sickly. I predicted gloomily "You'll probably want to take this chance to eat, you may not get another one for a while."

"Um, yeah. Thanks" he accepted the cookies from my hand after deciding if I was serious or not and took a small bite of one.

"And what time do you call this brother?" Damon asked, strolling out of his office and grinning wickedly as he thumped Stefan on the back, way harder than what was perhaps imperative.

Stefan sputtered on some crumbs and wiped them from the corner of his mouth "My babysitter isn't exactly reliable." He faced Damon with a resurgence of pride in his eyes "I had to make sure Lydia was taken care of. I'll do my best to make sure it doesn't happen again."

Already losing interest in his excuses, Damon waved his hand and walked away, calling behind him "You do that. I have a meeting I have to be at, Elena's going to start showing you the ropes."

We watched his retreating back for a beat and I mulled over the fact that Stefan must realize he has to take whatever abuse is thrown at him without retaliation for the sake of his child, but also in some twisted way must feel like he's atoning for past mistakes. "Alright" I ordered, not really sure on how to operate around the younger Salvatore. "We can start with how Damon likes his documents organized."

I gave a brief overview of the most mundane, simple tasks he would have to learn to get him through the everyday stuff. I handed him a box of papers and watched as he reached for the pink stapler, eager to show he was worthy at something. "That's my stapler" I snipped, passing over a basic black one for him to replace it with.

"I'm sorry" he took the object from me, eyes wide.

"No, god, _I'm_ sorry" I laughed, humiliated over my reaction "Please feel free to use the pink one, I don't know what I was thinking. It's just weird, you know?". I abruptly realized what my disconcertion was about; it had been just Damon and I for _five years, _and now with Stefan in the picture I was being a child about sharing his brother.

His face lightening, he stated knowingly "Feeling a little territorial huh?"

"Something like that" I admitted. "Can we start over?"

Nodding eagerly, he embarked on his work "Sure, don't worry about it."

After that icebreaker things became significantly easier and friendlier. Stefan was a quick learner, anxious to please and the tension between us evaporated. Before I knew it my half-day was over and it was time for me to head home to my newly acquired time off. From here on out, Stefan would be doing Mondays and Tuesdays while I still possessed the remaining three days.

"Hey Mr. Salvatore" I whistled, sticking my head through Damon's door. "I'm off, anything you need before I go?"

Damon's eyes rose from the laptop screen he had been studying "No, I'm sure you've left me in capable hands". He amended "Well, as capable hands as _Stefan_ can make." He playfully glared at me "And what's with this 'Mr. Salvatore' crap? You haven't called me that in private for a _very_ long time."

"Just trying to set a good example for the newbie" I winked. "Now I think I'm going to go home and fight with my janitor some more."

"No need" he informed. "I called Mr. Wynn, we had a very nice long talk and he's fixing your water heater as we speak."

"Damon, not that I'm not completely grateful but you didn't have to do that." Damon's propensity to repair all of the predicaments in my life left me feeling even more in debt to the man I could never hope to fully repay, if not a little incompetent.

He scoffed and jerked his head towards the exit "It was nothing. Now, go on, get out of here and relax."

"Alright, I'm going, i'm going".

Turns out my first free couple of days weren't as productive as I'd hoped. Without fail, every time I sat down to try to write or to do some chores i'd have either of the Salvatore brothers on the line; Damon complaining about his new PA's supposed incompetency and Stefan panicking over his boss's absurd demands. Apparently, Damon had mysteriously developed a taste for a certain coffee you could only get clear across Manhattan, and thought it was completely reasonable to expect his brother to return with it within twenty minutes. Often times I'd have one on hold while the other was bitching about him.

Wednesday came swiftly and it was nearly a relief to have something to do again. Unluckily, there was a brief day trip to New Jersey planned which meant we were taking the company plane, a little Cessna make that I've never felt easy flying in. Normal passenger jets? Sign me up, no problem. A tiny aircraft that felt like you were dancing on the whim of the wind? I avoided at all costs. The trip today was one I couldn't bail on however.

Just as I was opening my front door to leave, a large tote-bag in hand, I was forced back into my apartment by a body. "John" I proclaimed, stumbling backwards and dropping my luggage. Uncle John, my father's brother, was a raging alcoholic with a gambling problem that wouldn't quit and only really appeared when he wanted something. He was nomadic, sleeping on friend's sofas up and down the East Coast and the last time I had ran in to him in New York, he ended up 'borrowing' my diamond earrings to pawn for cash. "Now is really not a good time, I was just going out the door" I hinted, hoping I could refrain from meeting him again for another couple of years.

"Now is that anyway to greet your favorite relative?" he slurred, closing the door behind him and grinning sleazily. Guess he was in the middle of one of his infamous benders.

I let him wrap his arms around me for a moment, before struggling out of his grasp. "Let's get this over with. What will it be this time? $50, a $100?"

He looked contrite at my correct assumption for all of a second, before admitting "I just need a little bit of help, I have these loan sharks on my back and if I could shake them off everything would be peaches and cream again."

"How much John?" I asked tiredly.

"Forty thousand" he rushed out. "I'll get it all back to you, I promise."

I stared at him in complete shock "Forty thousand _dollars_? How do you even rack that much up? I'm sorry, there's no way I can help you with that kind of amount."

"Aren't you close with that Salvatore guy? He must make that much in like an hour." Beads of sweat broke out on his hairline and I could hear the desperation rising in his voice, obviously I was one of his last ditch attempts to get the cash. "You want me to beg? You have the connections."

"Even if I could, I wouldn't. This isn't his mess to clear up, nor is it mine." Laughing at his audacity, I put my hand on his arm intending to guide him back out of the door "I think it's time for you to leave, I hope you can get the help you need."

Unmistakably enraged by my hands on him and my flippancy, he whirled around taking me by the arms with a remarkably strong grip for someone under the influence. "John, you're fucking hurting me" I spat out, trying to wiggle away from his white-tipped fingertips biting into my flesh.

In all the stunts I had known my uncle to pull, I had never seen him violent before. But in that moment, caused by desperation and rage he raised his arm and struck me across the face, inciting pain to flower and pop along the cheek bone. I brought my fingers to softly touch under my eye, wincing "Get out. Now. Or i'll call the police, family be damned".

"Oh shit, I didn't mean to" he blustered, as if he wasn't in control of his own body. He lifted a hand as if he was going to comfort me but thought better of it after seeing my expression and left in a hurry, throwing glances over his shoulder until he was out of sight.

I had about two seconds to collect myself before pushing it all to the back of my mind, something I was getting exceptionally good at, and drive to the small airport we were scheduled to leave from. Before I got out of the car, I looked in the rear view mirror and frantically piled as much compressed powder as possible over my cheek, irritated at it's inability to hide the contusion that was already forming in a prism of colors.

Damon stood waiting for me at the flight of stairs that came down from the airplane door, hand out ready to take my bag. I bent my head forward, hoping against hope my hair would shield the injury from him and the inescapable prying questions that would follow. No such luck.

"Jesus Christ Elena" he exclaimed, tucking my hair behind my ear to get a clearer view of my face. "What the hell happened to you?"

"It's nothing serious, don't make it a big deal. I slipped and fell."

"Onto someone's fist?" he quipped incredulously. As he took hold of my arms in an attempt to get me to look at him, I recoiled as his hands brushed over the marks left over from John. Disconcerted, he rolled up my sweater sleeves, his face blackening as he took in the clear as day fingerprint impressions covering my forearms. He placed a gentle hand under my chin, tilting my head to the left and then to the right "Don't lie to me".

Appreciating he would never let this drop now, I nodded my consent "I'll tell you inside, we need to get going." He unenthusiastically complied and followed me up the stairs into the body of the plane, stopping only to grab something from the small refrigerator. As we sat down and buckled up, Damon produced the object; a flannel filled with ice.

Without permission, he tenderly pressed the ice-pack under my eye, the sweet relief of the cold more than worth it. "I'm waiting Elena." he admonished sternly. I can't help but be reminded of a situation in very similar circumstances after Damon had been arrested, the roles of the first-aider reversed.

Damon knew of John's background and was conscious of the fact he wasn't exactly wholesome. "My uncle was in town, he needed a sizable amount of money and got aggressive when I denied his request." I flinched as he shifted the ice "Julia Roberts sure hit the nail on the head when she said guys know _exactly_ where to hit a woman on the cheek to make your eye explode."

"Wait until I get my hands on him" he threatened, his jaw clenching. "That asshole is in for a world of hurt."

I smoothly replaced his hand on the ice and leant back into the leather chair. This version of him scared me the most; unpredictable and belligerent Damon never listened to reason and usually ended up hurt himself. "No. I mean it Damon. I don't want you going near him, it's more trouble than it's worth." I soothed, talking him down. "I wont see him again for a very long time, I'm sure."

Crossing his arms, he bowed at my pleas "Fine, we'll do it your way for now, but if I hear he's in New York again, all bets are off."

I made a non-comiital murmur. "We've tried to help him so many times and he just doesn't want it. My parents won't have anything to do with him anymore, which is probably why he came straight to me" I related, needing to get the story out. "I can't even tell my Dad about his money troubles, he'd be so disappointed."

"How about I help out a little? I could give John a loan and also make sure he gets some professional help" he suggested confidently. "Not for his welfare, but for your family's. So something like this doesn't happen again."

Gratitude rose up in my chest at his unadulterated offer but at the same time my heart sunk. This was exactly why I didn't want to tell him what had happened to me this morning. The water heater and offering to pay off my uncle to the tune of $40,000 and countless other things he had done for my benefit all swum together in my mind. I needed to prove to myself and everyone else I could survive without Damon Salvatore cleaning up my messes. "Thank you Damon, but no" I firmly declined his proposal. "If the issue surfaces again, it's something I need to fix myself."

"Alright" he nodded skeptically. "Just know the offer is on the table."

"So" I began, trying to change the subject. "Tell me all about how Stefan is working out."

He tipped his hand in a 'so-so' motion and admitted begrudgingly "He's not the complete worst." Elaborating, he said "He still gets a lot wrong though, he's no Elena Gilbert."

Trying not to smile too hard and aggravate my cheek at his pseudo compliment, I replied "Well at least you haven't killed each other yet. I suppose that's progress."

Soon, we both drifted into light naps for the short hop across states and awoke in slightly better moods. The conference thankfully went well and most importantly; quickly. Heading back home in no time at all, I watched as the clouds we were flying through became stormy as they filled with rain and I pulled the shade on my window shut as my slight phobia of flying in this ridiculously tiny plane returned.

The first bout of turbulence hit as we flew over the NY state border. Lightly jolted, I glanced up from reading Vogue and automatically looked at Damon in the seat facing me; who only shook his head and smiled reassuringly in return. I forced myself back to reading about 'This Spring's Must Have Skirts', licking my finger to turn the pages.

Five minutes later, another robust jerk hit, this time powerful enough to push the plane at least a few feet to the side. The tub of peanuts on my tray-table tipped and spilled, rolling unnoticed down the aisle. Damon took a draught of his bourbon, swishing it around his mouth; a tell-tale sign of him chewing something over.

As the rain started to lash against the side of the plane, a steady rattle emerged; one that wasn't letting up. The pilot came crackling over the intercom "Nothing to worry about folks but we're about to head into an electrical storm and we need to make sure everyone's seatbelt is secure." I obeyed and pulled the end of my seatbelt tight, lowering my head while trying to take deep steady breaths.

Damon took a loose hold of my hands, rubbing a soothing pattern over my knuckles with his thumb. "Elena look at me." he instructed calmly. "Look at me" he repeated, finally getting me to glance up. "Nothing's going to happen to you okay?".

Then as if it was doing it purposely to defy Damon's promise, the plane dropped, rose and then dropped violently again. As the lights heart-stoppingly flickered on and off, the pilot's voice sounded around the cabin once more; noticeably more troubled this time "We're going to go ahead and schedule a emergency landing at closer airport. Just a safety precaution."

"Do not look away from me" Damon advised, intensely holding my stare and gripping my hands tighter. His face drained and I knew the outlook wasn't looking good if it was effecting him as well "It's just me and you and nothing else is going on."

As the plane buffeted from side to side and the roaring surrounded us, I never broke eye contact. "Your tie" I pointed out hysterically.

"What?" he looked down at his chest, confused.

"You're wearing a tie, you hate them. You have to take it off." I clarified, panic entering my tone and not really being sure why it was so important I told him that.

"Okay, you're losing it" he muttered, concerned. Trying to distract me and failing miserably, he joked weakly. "Hey, you're going to have a hell of a story to take back to Caroline. She eats this kind of shit up".

"_Oh God_, we're going to die".

This time he moved his hands up to cup my face tightly "We. Are. Not. Going. To. Die. You wouldn't have such bad luck to have to die with only me for company."

He was teasing again but his words triggered something visceral. Romance aside, the bond between us ran far deeper than I had ever intimated before. To be melodramatic for a second, if these were my last moments on earth I couldn't think of one other person who i'd want more beside me. Damon, although obviously shaken up himself, had not allowed himself to reveal any of his discomfort; thinking only of me. That creed of his mirrored how we had always acted in each other's lives, to protect and ride out the storm together. Not that I hadn't appreciated that observation time and time again in our years together but the magnitude it carried this time changed. There was something almost tangible that linked us and it couldn't or wouldn't be ignored.

As the pilot spoke to inform us that we were beginning our descent to taxi on the replacement runway, I knew that if we escaped this I had a decision to make; a bullet to bite. Only when the wheels roughly touched down on the tarmac did I allow myself to breath again and let go of Damon's clasp, flexing my fingers from the stiffness.

"See, I told you we'd be fine" he bragged, only a hint of his usual smugness evident.

"I think I'm going to be sick."

There had been an SUV waiting for us to drive the now lengthened journey back home and without verbalization I understood I would be staying over at Damon's tonight. There was just a natural compulsion to not be separated after what we had experienced together, trivial as it may of seemed after the fact. We rode out the trip in silence, the rush still pulsing through our veins and for the first time since Las Vegas it felt perfectly normal to slip back into our old roles as sidekicks, partners in crime, cohorts or the million other descriptions that could be used to define us.

Staring in the spare bedroom's en suite mirror at my reflection, I splashed some cold water on my face and ignored the yellowing bruise covering my left cheek; it's cause seemed so far away and unimportant now. Wiping away the day's makeup, I tried hard as I could to comprehend Damon's predilection to seeing me fresh-faced, I couldn't.

Exhaustion was pressing down on me, the bone-crushing kind of tired you get when you're still recovering from an overwhelming event. But I pushed through it and sauntered downstairs to do what needed to be done before I lost my adrenaline-fuled backbone.

Damon was standing facing the lit fireplace as I took the last carpeted step into the living room. Sensing me enter as I fathomed he would, he took a sip from one of his numerous crystal tumblers and without turning around ruminated "I'm selling the plane, about time I listened to you and got a bigger jet."

"Yeah, sure" I replied vaguely, not really listening. While he prattles about possibly replacing his pilot, I angle him to look at me using his shoulders "Just shut up for a second okay? I need to try something." Bouncing onto my tiptoes, I search his eyes observing the bewilderment running rampant in them and then put my hand on the back of his neck, slowly pressing my lips against his.

I'd meant for it to be sweet and brief, only a brush of me against him and for a moment he stands unyielding. And then all at once before I have a chance to consider pulling away he grabs my waist roughly and yanks me into him, his tongue running along my bottom lip and delving into the contours of my mouth. It's only when he drags himself away from me that I can fully comprehend I was standing in my cotton PJs making out with Damon Salvatore, and it hadn't been near long enough. I can still taste him; hunger and possibility.

"Sweet Jesus, Elena" he shakily murmurs, his forehead resting against mine. "What was that? Some kind of PTSD? You're still in shock from today, we're both just shaken up."

I gain some sort of courage from his uncertainty, I'm ready for this conversation now. I ask softly "Do you still love me?"

His eyes deaden and he removes himself from such close proximity "Please don't ask me that, It's not fair."

"Damon" I breath out.

"You want the truth? Then i'll tell you but don't blame me when you can't handle it, because it didn't work out so well the first time I spilled everything to you like you were my priest". He cups my face ensuring I can do nothing my listen to what I'd asked for "I'm so whipped by you it's not even funny. I've tried to move on, and no matter how many woman I use to forget, your face is the only one I see. Yes, I still love you Elena". Pausing for effect, he continues " I _know_ you don't love me, but if you could give me a chance, just once."

As he's chosen to be honest and bare himself, I return the respect "You're dangerous Damon. You're abrasive, stubborn and temperamental and that's not even touching on how fast you go through woman". Defeated, his hands drop and I can already sense him withdrawing. I use my finger to tip his chin up "You're also good, fiercely loyal, protective and nobody can make me laugh like you can. And whatever I do I can't seem to shake you, in any sense of the word."

His eyes search mine "So what's the problem?"

"I'm scared Damon, I'm terrified to open myself up to you fully. What if I just become one of your notches? I work for you, how could we continue that if everything went sour?"

"Sounds to me like you're just using a hell of a lot of excuses to stop you going after what you want" he accuses, a small amount of humor reentering his tone. "I can't convince you of any of those things, you'd have to let me prove it. You'd have to decide if it's worth the risk."

I nod, realizing he's correct, as he is 99% of the time "You were right; I don't love you Damon, I haven't let myself...at least not yet. But maybe I can learn to catch up?"

"What are you saying?" He's grinning now.

The fear has dulled, as if all it was waiting for was me to be candid and open. "Well, how about a date?" I ask, speaking shyer then I'd intended.

He laughs, eyes crinkling "A date I can do"

For tonight I'm going to stop worrying about how this is all going to work out or if I'm going to regret it, and for once I'm just a girl standing in front of the boy she likes. Tomorrow I can panic over what i've done, the step i've taken.

"You know" he remembers cockily, wrapping his arms loosely around my shoulders. "That kiss has been a long time coming, about five years overdue."

"I've had it on hold for you since the first time we went out to dinner and you got me drunk on that hideous scotch" I teasingly shoot back, equally as brash.

Nodding in faux agreement, he acknowledges "Oh I thought it'd be my fault." He leans in so close I can feel his breath on my mouth "Seems we have some catching up to do."

"Is that so?" I whisper, putting my lips a hairbreadth away from his. Just as he leans in, I deviate and place a soft kiss on his cheek, skipping out of reach. "Goodnight Mr. Salvatore."

He frowns, but his eyes are sparkling "Goodnight Ms. Gilbert."

Seems today was one for firsts.

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**A/N**- Phew! hope that wasn't _too_ long for anybody. Elena had a busy day and she's only just allowing herself to feel the full extent of her feelings. Next chapter Lydia makes an appearance and we get some Uncle Damon. The fact that anyone bothers to read this much less review it means the world to me, as cheesy as that sounds. I really can't put my thanks into words and I hope I managed to reply to every review. Along with my twitter (Summerw12344**)** I would love to add you all on Tumblr**, (**all-thisdevotion). See you soon! x


	8. Chapter 8

**_In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you_-Pride and Prejudice**

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I woke up the next day giggling, like actually burying my face into the comforter and_ giggling_. I may have even thrown a few leg kicks in. And although I expected to awake full of self-recriminations, the fact was I didn't hold an ounce of remorse or uneasiness about taking Damon and I's relationship further last night. Inevitably I still had the same apprehensions I had always maintained, but they were just out shined by the promise of what could be. Apparently even I make the right decisions occasionally.

Anticipating Damon to be waiting for me so we could carpool to work, I was baffled to only see Alberto rattling around the bottom floor. The spot by the door where Damon's briefcase usually sat was bare and stuck by the coat hook in cramped script was a yellow Post-it that read "_It's not necessary for you to come in to work today, take the day off. -Damon."_

I couldn't help but become slightly dismayed with the curtness of the note and it's lack of his usual snark. My rare good mood at this early in the morning quickly turned sour. At a loss as to what to do, I ducked into the kitchen hoping to grab a quick cup of coffee.

"Miss. Gilbert! I didn't know you stayed the night" Alberto appeared, startling me into almost dropping the glass carafe. "Ah ha, that must explain Mr. Salvatore's foul mood this morning. Did you have one of your legendary arguments? He stews for days after those."

"Morning Bertie" I greeted, troubled. The news that Damon was walking around with a black cloud over his head was unsettling, and once again I was left trying to puzzle out my boss, or friend, or whatever label we happened to be at any given time. "I'm not sure what's wrong with him, he was fine when I left him last." Actually, more than fine if I was being pedantic.

"Ah well, I'm sure he'll work it out. He always does when he's around you." He smiled and turned towards the stove, lighting one of the gas rings. Speaking over his shoulder, he asked "French toast okay for breakfast?"

Damon's likely disappointment over last night had completely drained my appetite but I'd enough experience to know Alberto wouldn't let me take a step out of the house without being satisfied I had been stuffed to an inch of my life, so I agreed to one slice. As he adeptly shook the frying pan around I became determined that I _would_ go into work and find out what the problem was, I wasn't about to let lack of communication become our problem now that Damon and I had broken through so many other barriers. While I got Alberto talking about his recent vacation, he was distracted enough for me hide the slice of toast in the potted ficus plant in the corner and make my excuses to leave.

I was in the process of entering my key-code for the elevator to take me to the top floor when Stefan came storming out of the sliding doors, almost knocking me to the ground.

"Shit Elena, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there" he mumbled apologetically. Confusion shadowed his face "Actually, what are you doing at work? Damon called me in to cover, he said you needed another day off."

"Yeah, well it's news to me as well. I came in to see what the deal was". I finally noticed his disheveled state and took a lucky guess "Damon running you ragged?"

He nodded and sighed, dragging a hand through his already mussed hair. Producing a plastic box, he clarified "He's in a shittier mood than usual. I ordered his steak rare when he wanted it medium-rare, I thought he was going to throw it at my head."

Trying to hide my grin at the thought of a $100 slab of cow being thrown at Stefan, I took the to-go box out of his hands. "He's talking out of his ass, he always wants his steak bloody as possible." I didn't particularly want Stefan around for the conversation I was planning with his brother so I suggested "I'll take this up to him and you can go grab something to eat or just take a breather."

"Thank you, that'd be great" he accepted, then smiled like i'd just told him he'd won the lottery. Anxious to leave, he flashed out of sight before I could rescind my offer. The inane elevator music on the way up kept me from worrying about what I could be walking into and as it had been made crystal clear I wasn't on the clock today, I determinedly walked into Damon's office without invitation.

Exhaling heavily when he caught sight of me, his face became mask like "I thought I told you to take the day off. Yesterday was crazy and you need rest."

"Well, if we're splitting hairs; _I am _taking the day off. I just chose to spend it here" I dropped his lunch solidly onto his desk before walking over to the shelf lined with his copious awards and accolades. Tracing minute patterns in the dust around the bases of his trophies, I accused "And you know full well the reason you ordered me to take time off was because you're trying to avoid me." I rapidly spun around to face him, trying not to display my insecurities "It's okay you know, i'd understand if you wanted to pretend last night never happened."

He eyed me in disbelief "Just to clarify, do you mean the part where you threw yourself at me? Or the part where you said you'd give us a chance? Jesus, you can't even say it can you?." Laughing cruelly, he started to drum his signet ring against the wood of his arm rest "And you wonder why I'm avoiding you, because I knew for a fact in the cold light of day you'd be running scared again. Forgive me for wanting to evade _that_ conversation."

"Oh, you knew that for a fact did you?" I groaned, sinking down into the chair opposite him and rubbing my face. "Damon, when will you stop being your own worst enemy? It's not like the almost plane crash gave me brain damage, I meant what I said last night. If you had waited for five hot minutes this morning I would have told you I don't want to take any of it back. "

Mouth creating a hard line, he cajoled "Yeah, okay. That's why you just came stomping in here informing me that we should just act like nothing has changed."

I threw my hands up in frustration "Only because I thought _you_ regretted it! It doesn't exactly boost a girl's self esteem when she wakes up to an empty house. Oh this is pointless, here..." Leaning forward over the desk, I pulled the lapels of his jacket taut and for the second time in 24 hours I had my lips on Damon Salvatore's. And, yep, nothing had changed; still felt electric. I released him before he could react and sat back into my chair, sighing "You drive me crazy sometimes! Is that enough of a message for you?"

"Welcome to the club sweetheart, you've been driving me crazy since the day we met" He threw back, a vaguely dazed expression on his face. "Elena, if you're serious about doing this, you have to realize it's going to take me a little while to get my head around you being onboard. It's been a pipe dream for so long that I never really considered this could actually go in my favor."

Feeling a slight bit more sympathetic, I nodded. This was never going to be an easy road "I don't exactly have a manual to go off either Damon, we're going to have to figure it out along the way; together. And no more just assuming what the other person is thinking." I indicated with my head towards his lunch "Now that's cleared up, eat your steak."

He reluctantly opened the lid and chewed on a bite "Yes mom." Smirking, he prodded at the center of the cut "This is the same one I sent down with Stefan to get replaced, isn't it?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about" I denied while checking my watch. "And now I'm going to take full advantage of my extra day off and try to catch up with Caroline." Pulling a shiny red apple from my purse, I tossed it towards him "Think fast! I snagged it for your dessert on the way over."

He easily caught it and scrutinized the fruit "Isn't that teachers? An apple for the teacher?"

"Teacher, boss; same difference" I shrugged and made to leave.

His hand shot across the varnished wood and covered mine at the last second "So everything you said last night..?"

"Everything I said last night still stands" I confirmed, marveling at how it was now me in the position of resolve. Teasing, I added "Do you need me to say 'No takebacks'?"

"You can be expecting a call from me to arrange that promised date then" he guaranteed, eyebrow arched and his confidence seemingly restored.

I mirrored his eyebrow arch "Oh, i'll be waiting Mr. Salvatore." Surprised at how easy flirting came between us now that it was actually allowed, I assured "I'm sure I'll be seeing you around, I happen to work for someone who hangs around here a lot." Before he could jest back, we both caught sight of Stefan returning, effectively ending our conversation. Panicking, I noticed the pink lip shaped imprint on the corner of Damon's mouth. "Shit" I licked my thumb and hastily rubbed it away before Stefan could enter. Whatever was growing between Damon and I was indeterminate enough with only us involved, we could live without the pressure of other people knowing.

Before I could move my hand away, Damon, in a seldom shown tender move, caught my wrist and placed a light kiss against my palm. It happened so quickly I was still wondering if I had imagined it when Stefan opened the door. Flustered, but acting like nothing had happened, I nodded goodbye to Stefan on my way out and threw one last glance over my shoulder at Damon. He exaggeratedly took a lewd looking bite out of his apple, licking the juices from his lips and as he grinned at me it was obvious the unsure Damon from when i'd first entered had disappeared and he was back to being cocksure as ever.

Suddenly returning to the good mood I woke up in, I flipped open my cell and dialed "Hey Care, where are you right now?"

"_I'm choosing fabrics for the Fallbrook's living room" _I could hear her stopping to mutter measurements to the sale assistant standing next to her. _"Why? What's up?"_

"Nothing really, I didn't have to work today and wanted to see if you were free. Are you at the upholstery store on 17th?"

_"Mmmhmm, come meet me. I'm bored out of my mind"_

I smiled, Caroline's least favorite task as an interior designer was having to choose textiles. "Alright, I'm on my way. I'm only a few streets over." I ended the call and ran across the road while there was still a gap in the traffic. Reaching the store entrance just as the heavens opened and rain came pouring down, I ducked inside and walked to the back, picking out the blonde instantaneously.

Forgoing all greetings, she held up a swatch of vomit green cloth "What do you think of this for armchairs and a sofa?"

"I think it's foul."

She nodded in agreement "That's what I thought". Turning to the sales assistant, she instructed "I'll take five rolls." After seeing my bewildered expression she thought to add "Bitsy Fallbrook has the most heinous taste i've ever seen. So if we dislike it, she's sure to love it."

I laughed and moved further up the aisle using my thumb and forefinger to feel all the different textures. "So.." I began, looking expectantly at her to bring me up to date on her life.

"Don't 'so' me Gilbert. I have nothing exciting to report, but _you _on the other hand look like you have some stories to tell. Let's start with how you got that big fat bruise on your face."

Her lack of tact could only make me love her more. I quickly gave an overview of yesterday's events stopping short of revealing what happened with Damon. "And that's why I'm not at work today" I finished. "Damon thought I needed to 'recover'".

"How's it going with him anyways?" she asked, distracted by working out the price of something on her calculator. "Is he still all about worshiping the ground you walk on?"

Pretending to be enthralled by a roll of fabric with cartoon strawberries adorning it, I denied "He doesn't worship the ground I walk on, he just, you know, likes me I guess". I had to grimace at how lackluster my response sounded.

Suddenly showering me with her full attention, Caroline tapped her ballpoint pen against her lip "Yeah, that's putting it mildly." Her eyes widened and I took an involuntary step backwards "You slept with him didn't you? It's all over your face."

"No, I didn't sleep with him!" I hissed, slapping my hand over her mouth to attempt to quiet down her outburst. Doing a quick estimation in my head I decided that letting Caroline know didn't really count. I was going to need someone to confess everything to anyways, otherwise I may burst. Besides, trying to keep something hidden from the blonde was a hopeless endeavor in itself. "We kissed" I admitted, biting the side of my cheek. "And we're going to try going on a date."

For once in her life, she seemed at a loss for words. "Wow" she uttered after a long silence. "How do you feel about that?".

"Pretty good actually" I reassured, worried at her non-reaction and transformation into a therapist. "It kind of feels like our natural progression. And right, it feels right".

"You're actually serious aren't you? This wasn't some drunken mistake, you want this."

I frowned and replied slowly "Yes, I do. Is there..." Chewing my lip, I continued "Is there something wrong? Do you think I'm making a mistake? I know you're not exactly his biggest fan but-"

"No, no it's not that. As a matter of fact you can't help but kinda admire the way he loves you, it's intense. I'm just surprised by your change of mind, it's very un-Elena like. When we talked about it before you had all these reasons not to go there, I just want to make sure you're not over your head. I mean he's obviously way more invested then you are right now"

I thought about that for a second. Was I over my head and just not realizing it? Was I naively ignoring all my concerns for us to only end up in a tragic downfall? "I've got it under control" I guaranteed, trying to not let her show that I had been shaken.

"Alright, just making sure."

Caroline appeared to understand I wasn't willing to talk about it anymore and dropped the subject. We purchased some coffees and spend the next hour together before she had to return to her office. About ten minutes later I had my head stuck in my fridge trying to work out if I could make a decent dinner out of a old head of lettuce and a can of chicken broth when my cell rang out. Startled, I hit my head on the top shelf of the refrigerator as I answered "Hello?".

_"Miss. Gilbert, you sound chipper_."

"Damon" I smirked, attempting to sound exasperated. "I left your office like two hours ago. Don't tell me you're that desperate for my voice already?"

"_So what if I am?"_

I flushed at his blatant display of affection. Catching myself twirling my hair around my finger, I started to feel like a teenager in high-school talking to their crush on the phone. Wrong footed, I answered hesitantly "Um, was there a reason you called?"

He could sense he had the upper hand back _"Just letting you know to come over at 8:00."_

_"_Tonight? What? Why?"

_"Did you really think i'd drag this thing out?" _he admonished smugly. "_You agreed to a date, why wait?"_

I sighed and looked at the hairline cracks in the beige paint on my ceiling. This was Damon in a nutshell, he was impatient and definitely had no use for delayed gratification. He wants what he wants, when he wants it. "Look I don-"

He interrupted _"Okay, see you tonight. Don't be late."_

In disbelief I glared at the phone, the dial tone sounding loudly back, he'd actually hung up on me! Frustrated, I hit the redial button and rolled my eyes when he picked up almost instantly, laughing uproariously.

"_Don't tell me you're that desperate for my voice already_" he mocked, repeating my earlier words back to me.

I tried to stop the smile from spreading across my face, but this was exactly what I signed up for the moment I kissed him. So instead of over thinking it I simply asked "No, I only needed to ask what I should be wearing tonight. Casual? Formal?"

He was silent for a minute, surprised by my quick assent "_It doesn't matter, I'll send Alberto home early and i'll cook dinner, we'll stay in."_

"Alright, eight it is. I'll be there". Grinning, this time it was me who ended the call prematurely. I was left with a little excited spark in the pit of my stomach and reminded that Damon's impulsive tendencies were one of the reasons my earlier doubts just weren't important right now. I craved this side of him. Also, with one last look at my barren fridge I realized I needed to have dinner _somewhere_.

At 8:05 I waited on the doorstep of his house, wearing an informal summer dress with low pumps and trying not to bite my thumbnail. It was outrageous that I was even nervous, I'd eaten with Damon all over the globe, at all times of the day. He knew that I hated asparagus and I knew he preferred red wine to white, yet here I stood, uncommonly apprehensive. For the first time in a long time I rang the doorbell instead of using my copy of the front door key and tried to pretend this was just like any other first date; except it never would be, this one genuinely meant something.

I could see a distorted Damon approaching through the stained glass window in the door before it swung open and he appeared grinning. Right away I was left feeling more at ease, I could do this, the hardest part was already over.

"You came" he observed as he stepped back leaving only enough room for me to barely squeeze past.

Sliding across him, I affirmed softly "I came".

He moved his arm out suddenly, curling it loosely around my waist and caging me against his chest. Leaning his face close to mine so his breath tickled my ear, he whispered "You look...well, hot". Immediately, he leant back breaking the fire of the moment and said smugly "I'm allowed to say comments like that now."

"Oh please, you've _always_ said comments like that. You're lucky I haven't filed for sexual harassment in the workplace yet" I joked, quirking an eyebrow. Entering into the foyer, I placed a palm flat against his blue linen shirt, making sure I had his attention and smiled at him warmly "Thank you though. I know it's your way of being sweet."

"Follow me" he indicated, and brushed his fingers against mine like he was going to take my hand to lead me. Coughing awkwardly, he moved his hand away before I could reciprocate. I realized then that he was uncertain on how far he could go. All of a sudden our relationship had new boundaries and he wasn't sure what they were. He understood that I wasn't where he was yet and didn't want to push me too soon, too fast; he was attempting to keep it light in case I spooked.

Before we could take a step further, the doorbell cut shrilly into the air. Damon groaned and looked at me for instructions. "See who it is?" I shrugged in return. He loped over to answer the door, irritated, as if the person on the other side had deliberately set out to interrupt our date. I heard some hushed, incensed voices and then abruptly Stefan walked inside, complete with an infant hitched on his hip.

"Elena" he acknowledged with his eyebrows furrowed and evidently surprised to find me at Damon's out of work hours. "What are you doing here?"

Panicking, my mind went blank. I could of said a thousand different things that would have made perfect sense but because I'm a certified idiot, I could only mumble incoherently. "Just hanging out" I eventually mouthed.

Behind Stefan, Damon pulled a face, but his brother accepted my excuse without a second thought and nodded understandingly. He turned back to face Damon "Look, it's obvious you don't have anything else to do tonight. I wouldn't ask if I wasn't desperate, believe me, but I have nobody else to watch her."

"I'm sorry, what gave you the impression that I'm running a kiddy daycare here?"

At Damon's angry retort, the child; Lydia I presumed, let out a loud wail. I took this as my cue to intercept "What's going on?"

Stefan looked beseechingly over, obviously hoping he would have better luck with me "My babysitter got sick and I have my second job to get to tonight. They'll fire me if I don't turn up. I promise i'll never ask again".

The younger Salvatore was obviously having to work night and day to make ends meet, the sallow circles under his eyes prominent reminders. Although his timing sucked, I didn't see how we could turn him down. They argued for at least another ten minutes before I felt I had to step in again "Damon, it'll only be once. And she'll probably sleep the whole time". Looking at Stefan for help, I nodded encouragingly.

"Absolutely" he soothed, taking the hint. "She'll be no trouble."

Damon looked at me, aggravated "Whatever". With one last glare at his brother he stormed off to the kitchen. Stefan left to set up his daughter in the living room and came back looking slightly more relaxed.

"She went straight to sleep in her travel bassinet. She shouldn't wake up, but if she does here is all the stuff you'll need." He slammed a bag the size of Mount Everest down by my feet and handed me a page with hand written instructions and contact numbers on it. "And thanks for doing this, i'll be back around midnight."

He's out the door before I had a chance to ask any questions and I can't help but giggle; of course a bump was going to happen tonight and it happened to come in the shape of Stefan Salvatore. I found Damon still in the kitchen and through the crack in the door I saw him side-swipe a pot crashing into the sink and curse violently _"Fuck!"._

"Damon" I spoke, attempting to balm his temper. "It's okay, we can still save dinner."

He blazed over his shoulder at me "Actually, we can't. The food burnt because I spent too long fighting with that moron". Striding over to open the adjoining door into the dining room, he elaborated "And this happened".

I hesitantly peeked into the room. It had been set out with the best china, but the red candles which had been previously lighted, had melted colorful wax all over the pristine white tablecloth. Where bread plates should have been, there were salad plates and in place of crab forks sat fondue ones. Without Alberto's tutelage Damon had blundered the table setting, but it couldn't of meant more to me. It was so _Damon, _and that's what I wanted. "You shouldn't have gone to all this effort for me." I breathed, touched.

He shrugged sheepishly "I wanted it to be different from all the other times we went out. But anything important, Stefan, of course, has to ruin."

It hit me with the force of a thousand bricks. I never fully comprehended until now what it must be like for Damon to have to see the brother that betrayed him all day long. "I'm sorry" I commiserated. "Now that you're working with him, you can never fully escape from what he did can you? It's constantly being rubbed in your face."

"I suppose, but it's getting better. Sometimes I even forget I hate him".

I nodded, realizing that the evening is salvageable if done fast. "Now the Mr. Salvatore I know never gives up." I admonished and went to the freezer, reaching to the back to pull out five tubs of ice cream I kept hidden there for emergencies. Pointing to the dessert and then to ourselves, I reasoned "We have the food and the company, I think we're good to go".

Eyeing me suspiciously, he asked "Are you sure you still want to do this tonight?"

"Could not be more sure". I hopped onto the granite kitchen countertop facing him and gestured for him to do the same. Legs swinging, I ordered "Close your eyes".

"What?"

"Just do it". He sighed and closed his eyes. A second later he squinted one back open. "Damon" I laughed, placing my hand over his eyes and sticking a spoon in his mouth full of the contents from one of the tubs. "You have to guess what flavor it is."

He smirked and inquired while chewing "And what do I get if I get it right?"

I rolled my eyes, knowing he couldn't see me "Nothing, but whoever guesses correctly the most gets to choose the DVD, and I'm feeling in a very Legally Blonde mood."

Eventually the game dissolved into who can 'accidentally' cover the other with the most ice cream. Damon cheats, switching the tubs and mixing the flavors so I couldn't possibly speculate on the flavor accurately. The night became effortless, it was just the normal Damon and I, only with the added undercurrent of romantic and sexual tension that was finally allowed to surface.

While I'm in hysterics as he tries to teach me how to hang a spoon from my nose, a piercing cry rents through the air. Damon's smile vanishes and he stares at me hopelessly. "Don't look at me" I dissuade. "Babies and I don't mix, I tried to sell Jeremy in a garage sale when we were little. Anyways, I'm way more covered in Rocky Road than you are." A small, very minuscule part of me may have been wanting to try to see if I could sway Damon to bond with his niece.

Damon grumbled but jumped off the counter and followed the cacophony of sound. I waited a few minutes before washing up and following him. Silently, I watched as he held Lydia like she was a football and he's about to throw a Hail Mary pass, arms outstretched and clasping her far away as he could get. He bounced her around in a way he obviously considered comforting and I had to smother a laugh when I heard what he was muttering to her.

"You know when you cry you sound exactly like your dad when he's whining. Which is all the time, non stop." Without turning around he called out louder "You can come in Elena, it's not a private party."

Busted, I move in next to him and for the first time get a close look at Stefan's daughter. From her eyes to her hair color she was her father personified. She seemed to have none of her mother in her and I hoped that would also hold true for her disposition as she grew up.

"It's kind of weird you know?" he contemplated. "Katherine and I were talking about having children just before she left me, this should have been my child. A few years earlier and it would have been."

Endeavoring not to show my shock over the fact that Damon had ever considered starting a family, I noticed Lydia had gone completely quiet "She likes you, she went straight back to sleep." He scoffs, but I can see he's pleased with himself as he puts her back into her basket. As we made our way to the living room, I slipped my hand around his; slowly I can begin to show him I'm not going to be scared off. He barely hides his smile.

I fall asleep during the movie (my choice) and am only woken at midnight by Stefan coming to pick up his child. Sleepily, I waited on the sofa for Damon to return, the conversation he's having with his brother clearly audible from where I'm sitting.

"Stefan, tell your boss at your night job you're quitting. I'll raise your salary to cover the deficit. And I'm only doing it because I need you fully focused on me when you're working okay?"

Stefan murmurs his assent and leaves. But I'm pretty sure that Stefan knows as well as I do that Damon really did it out of concern, something he'd rather die than admit. I'm pulling my coat on and grabbing my purse when Damon appears again.

"You're not staying the night?"

I walked to the front door and waited for him to catch up "I don't think so. I'll see you at work tomorrow morning though?"

He nodded "I'm sorry about what a huge disaster tonight was."

Placing a finger against his lips, I silenced him "No, I loved it, thank you."

"So do I get a another shot at this?"

"I think that could be arranged" I replied saucily. "However, next time it's my turn to arrange it."

He studies my face, then pulls me into him and kisses me softly and fleetingly "Goodnight Elena."

"Goodnight Damon". As I turn to leave, he groans and pulls me back by my arm, tunneling his fingers through my hair and this time the kiss is all teeth and passion. Every time we kiss it's different and I feel like I discover something new about him. "Damon, we have to stop making out on your doorstep" I get out between his lips capturing mine. "Your neighbors will see."

He finally releases me and I balance on my heels to give him one last peck. The smell of his aftershave follows me all the way home making sure he doesn't leave the forefront of my mind. However badly skewed tonight got, I knew that I hadn't been wrong taking this step, something more dynamic than I had ever considered was slowly being discovered. Something I'd never had before.

What I really should have been doing was thinking about Caroline's warnings, it would have saved me a lot of trouble.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armor. Don't forget it.- _On Golden Pond**

* * *

It was nearing the end of Salvatore Corp's fiscal year which caused the whole company to turn into lunatics overnight and all hands were needed on deck. This in turn meant that Damon and I hadn't had any time whatsoever to go on any more dates. For the next couple of weeks I would be working next to Stefan, just until everything was organized and then we could all breathe a big sigh of relief and go back to working separately.

When I said we hadn't been able to find time to go out, the unfolding affair hadn't by any means been paused. Damon made sure of it. He was apparently under the assumption that the elevator and the photocopy room were his own personal zones for some pretty heavy duty make out sessions. Not that I was complaining. I finally gave in to the inevitable and accepted that Damon Salvatore was blisteringly attractive, it was refreshing to not have to pretend like I didn't notice anymore. Late nights at the office were spent pouring over paperwork while hastily consuming Chinese take-out, it's the only time we found to eat and the only time we allowed ourself to be distracted and have as many breezy conversations as possible well into the small hours of the morning.

It was a strange, undefined way to relate, not to mention the massive shift it was from our previous alliance. Despite all of that, I found it amazing living in the moment like we were, exploring what could be. Damon made sure to keep the pressure off and take it at my speed.

Tueday night found Stefan and I stood at the back of a packed auditorium in stifling heat, trying in vain to circulate some air by waving our welcome packets around our faces. It was Fall, we weren't even supposed to be having weather like this! Damon was presiding at the press conference, orchestrated so the company's objectives for next year could be revealed. It had been dragging on for the last hour and there was an endless line of journalists raising their hands hoping it would be their question that got answered next.

Bonnie was sat next to Damon on the stage, moderating any inquiries being shouted out. As the voices droned on, I distracted myself by making up the life stories of people in the audience (I decided the octogenarian in the third row and the young female covered in leopard print in the back row are having a secret affair). Without warning, a commotion came from a few rows in front and Andie Starr stood up. Considering how she left in Vegas, I was a little perturbed about how she was going to behave; even if Damon was being a complete asshole to her that day.

"Mr. Salvatore, as I'm sure we're all on tenterhooks waiting to find out" she paused to superiorly smile around the room and hold her tape recorder out further. "What exactly is your relationship status? Take Rose Slater, is she still in the picture?"

All good will i'd previously held for the journalist disappeared, I actually felt a little sorry that a bright, capable journalist degraded herself to get in a cheap, tabloid question just to have a dig at a former flame.

Bonnie shook her head and indicated for the next question to be asked but Damon held up his hand "No it's fine. If that's the only deep question Miss. Starr could think up at a conference about business that's on her." The room laughed and a faint blush covered Andie's cheeks. "But to answer your question, Rose Slater is just a friend and I'm very much single." He looked to the next reporter "Moving on."

That stung a little more than it should have. Technically he _was_ single, we had no labels and we hadn't talked about exclusivity. What's more it's not like he was going to mention my name when we both agreed to keep whatever was between us private. But a flare of jealousy sprung up unexpectedly anyhow. Huh, that was new.

"Isn't that just the million dollar question" Stefan mumbled next to me.

The warmth of the room had already frayed my temper so I snapped "What did you say?"

"His relationship status" he illuminated. "What are you guys anyways?"

I grew agitated "I have no clue what yo-"

"I'm not stupid Elena, even if my brother has said otherwise." he interjected, laughing. "I'm also not attacking you or anything but i'd have to be blind not to notice what's going on."

Perceiving he was just genuinely curious with no malice intended, I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried not to go red "Is it that obvious?"

"Considering Damon's hands are all over you, all the time, and he walks around with a shit eating grin; you can't really miss it."

And here I was convinced we were being coy and stealthy. "It's complicated" I explained. "I don't really know what we are yet." Suddenly it hit me "The night we babysat Lydia, you knew then, didn't you?"

Stefan held his hands up "Hey, it's none of my business. There's been some whispers around the office but apparently there always has been rumours, so I don't think anyone's really paying close attention." He leant in closer to my ear after we noticed the guy standing next to us straining to listen "For what it's worth, I haven't seen Damon this happy in a long time and believe it or not, that's something I like to see; so I guess keep doing what you're doing."

I did honestly believe Stefan wanted his brother to find some happiness, even if it was to allay some of his own guilt. Without giving us a chance to continue our conversation, the sound of numerous chairs scraping back on the floor filled the room and I realized the event had blessedly finished.

We'd been in the SUV driving home all of ten minutes before Damon broke and began his questioning. "What were you and Stefan gossiping like a pair of old ladies about?" he inquired with an air of affected nonchalance while he pretended to be fully focused on his leather planner.

The sound of the tires crunching over gravel grew louder, starting to chafe and I ran my fingernails along the upholstery of the seats. "I didn't realize you had been watching" I noted, glancing at the driver and then out of the tinted window. "Stefan knows, about us." I added, quieter.

"Is that a problem?"

"Not particularly" I replied, trying not to retaliate to his flippant questioning. For some reason we were walking the line of baiting each other. "We should probably cool it while we're it work though, be professional and keep it separate. I mean we wouldn't want anyone else figuring it out and ruining your bachelor image would we?"

He barked out a contemptuous note of laughter "I was wondering when you were going to bring that up. Tell me, what should I have said?"

Don't get me wrong, I fully understood how irrational I was being; Damon hadn't set out to hurt me and there was no other way he could have answered that question. I turned away from staring at the scenery rushing past and looked at him "I'm sorry, I was being a bitch. It's been a really long day."

Watching me fixedly, his face became warmer and he reached across to grab my hand, holding it tightly on the seat between us "Look, when we're at the office I won't lay a finger on you if it makes it easier." I could almost hear the unsaid end of that sentence _But when we're in private, my fingers will be all over you. _"And for future reference, if it's you that's wanting to know; I'm very not single."

I rolled my eyes, smirking, but he could tell he had said exactly the right thing.

"Screw this" I all but screamed two days later as I broke another pen, splattering black ink all over my hand. Under Damon's instructions I had been forging his signature on some of his personal correspondence he'd been too busy to finish. Stefan was out getting his brother's dry cleaning and the level of stress in the building had reached boiling point. I needed a break, fast, before someone pulled a Britney and shaved their head. I could see Damon in his office talking to one of the accountants from the second floor, he was struggling not to fall asleep and kept flicking tiny balls of paper over his desk every time his employee wasn't looking.

This. Was. Ridiculous. When inspiration eventually struck, I was frankly surprised a little light bulb didn't appear over my head.

I knocked and stuck my head around his door, schooling my face into what I hoped was a forlorn expression. "Mr. Salvatore, I hate to interrupt."

"Oh it's fine Miss. Gilbert." He addressed me eagerly, begging me with his eyes '_do not leave me alone with this guy any longer'. _"What's the problem?"

I crossed my fingers behind my back "It's your car, it's been broken into. The security guard said it looked pretty bad."

Damon's face fell, genuinely worried "The Camaro? Fuck, of course that would happen the one day I chose to drive it."

He was referencing his vintage Chevy Camaro convertible; his pride and joy; his baby. One time I accidently, through no fault of my own, scratched a very small mark on the passenger door. I literally thought he was going to break down weeping and start whispering sweet nothings to it. "Yeah, you should come down and check it out. The police will probably want a report too."

"Scott, we'll have to resume this another time." Scowling, he strode out of the room with me hot on his heels. He snarled a few orders at some of the people he passed and let the receptionist know he would be taking the rest of the day off.

We rode down to the underground garage and his powder blue car, which was in immaculate condition, came into view. He tilted his head and turned towards me, eyebrows lowered. "Well, will you look at that. Seems to have had a miraculous recovery. Maybe it's magic?"

"I can explain" I vowed, taking a small step backwards and second guessing my bright idea. "You needed a time out before you stuck a pencil in someone's eye. And besides, I promised you a date. You sprung one on me, now I get to spring one on you."

Prowling towards me, Damon vividly reminded of a predator stalking it's prey. He moved behind and kissed me whisper soft on my neck. "That was very, very bad of you Elena, but it's also a very good idea." Playfully biting the lobe of my ear, he accused in a voice that was all velvet and honey "Let me guess, you couldn't wait to lure me out and have your way with me."

It took everything in my power not to close my eyes and lean back into him. "No, actually I was worried about your blood pressure" I teased. "Alberto has been telling me all about how males of a certain age need to be careful in stressful situations."

His hands which had been tracing figure eight patterns on the sides of my waist, stilled "Did you just call me an old man?"

"Maybe."

Fingers pressing deeper into my skin, he tickled me mercifully until I begged him to stop, laughing until I had tears in my eyes. "Okay, I'm at your disposal. Where are you going to take me Gilbert?"

Woops, my plan hadn't stretched that far. "Let's get out of the city." I suggested. "Upstate?"

He swung his car keys around his pointer finger and smirked "Upstate it is".

As I moved around to the passenger side, he untucked his shirt and flung his tie into the back seat through the open window. We simultaneously turned our cells off, a mutual decision to _really_ escape from all distractions. Tapping his long fingers on the steering wheel, he looked at me pensively "How about you drive for a while?"

"You'd let me drive this car? The one we're sitting in right now?" I challenged skeptically, toeing my too-high heels off my feet.

"Sure" he shrugged, like it was no big deal he had just offered to let me get my hands on one of his most prized possessions.

Eyes widening, my teeth immediately started to worry my lip. "I don't know how to drive stick shift" I admitted lamely. My father, lover of all classic cars, would have a fit if he found out I'd turned down this opportunity.

Damon waved his hand "That's easy, I can teach you." He slipped on a pair of aviators and spun out of the parking spot and onto the road "Let me get us out of the city and then it's all yours."

Staring down into my lap, I tried to hide a wide smile. Seems like my date idea was a good one after all. Peeking out of the corner of my eye as Damon maneuvered though the other cars with military like precision, I could see him looking more liberated than I had seen him in a while. It took me at long time to notice the speedometer steadily rising as we flashed along the freeway. "Hey Speedy Gonzales, wanna loosen up on that pedal a little?" I warned lightly. "You already have a criminal record, let's not add to it."

"Criminal record?" he scoffed, looking at me with a half smile. "I knocked someone out in a bar Elena, not really Charles Manson caliber is it?". Tilting his head to one side and raising his eyebrows suggestively he added "But hey, if you want to role-play at being Bonnie and Clyde I wouldn't complain."

"Okay, eyes on the road Casanova" I reached over smirking and smacked his chest gently.

He grinned and pushed his foot closer to floor "Oh relax, I'm not going to get pulled over. I have like a built in radar."

And then with perfect timing for future story telling, red and blue lights started to flash in the rear view mirror and I had to clap a hand over my mouth to stop the laughter begging to escape. "A built in radar huh?" I bragged as Damon groaned and pulled over to the side of the road.

Much to my annoyance and adding no doubt ten-fold to Damon's smugness, he was able to talk himself out of the ticket with his usual flawless oratorical skills. I knew I would never hear the end of_ that_ one. Eventually we were at a spot he deemed appropriate enough to switch the wheel over to me. He jumped out and pushed the top down. Ignoring the crispness in the air it was going to be a thrill to ride it as a convertible.

We slid into our leather seats and I hovered my hands around the wheel and gear stick too nervous to touch anything yet. Damon reclined his seat and crossed his arms behind his head. Finally, I had the wherewithal to turn the key to start the engine and wait for instructions. "Alright, teach me O' wise one."

"Put your foot on the brake, and make sure the clutch, thats the third pedal, is down as well." I made sure my feet were in position and waited for further directions. He briefly explained the different gears and helped me get it into first. Smiling like it was the funniest thing he's seen all week he advised. "Okay, when you're ready release the clutch".

I did as he said and promptly stalled the car, jerking us both forward. After a few more tries ending up exactly the same way, and Damon laughing hysterically, I threw my hands up into the air in acute frustration and slammed the car door open, hopped out and left him to hit the brake and turn the ignition off. "Elena, come back" he shouted after me, mirth still in his voice as I stomped away to the grass on the side of the deserted road.

Moments later I felt two arms strong as steel bands wrap around my waist and lift me up like I weighed as much as a bag of feathers. His muscles coiled beneath the skin. "_PUT. ME. DOWN_." I screeched petulantly. Shoulders shaking with laughter he only shook his head.

'Let's try this again" he commanded, sitting into the driver's seat and pulling me onto his lap. "I'll work the pedals and you can control the wheel and the gears." His hand covered my right one and placed it onto the shift. Within minutes we had the hang of it and we were cruising down the road with no more problems.

I nestled back further into his chest, he had both hands wrapped around my stomach and I could feel his smirk against the shell of my ear. "You did it purpose didn't you?' I realized belatedly. "You deliberately wanted me to screw it up."

"Had to get you on my lap somehow" he shrugged unabashed. Instead of a rebuke, I think I surprised him by leaning back and kissing his cheekbone. Teasing, he breathed into my ear "We could get pulled over again you know, pretty sure you on my lap is not a legal way to drive."

I couldn't bring myself to care "Legal shmegal". The trees lining the street had turned to a golden orange and with the leaves falling all around us as we passed I knew there was no where else I would rather be.

An hour later we had parked the car under a tree and were sat talking with our heads on each other's chests and our legs stuck out of the windows opposite us. "Liar" I accused, laughing after he had spent the last five minutes trying to convince me his favorite movie was Fight Club. "I've sat and watched The Goonies with you so many times I think you've worn out the DVD".

"Whatever" he allowed grumpily, understanding there was not much I didn't know about him. "It's like the gold standard of childhood movies". We fell into a comfortable silence as the sunlight danced between the branches above us, dappling our skin with shadows and the brisk breeze surrounded me with every scent that I associated with Damon; leather, aftershave and raw masculinity.

Catching sight of my purse, I remembered there was something I had decided to give to him and this was the perfect moment. I slipped my hand into the quilted blue leather tote and pulled out a thin stack of papers. "I don't know if you still wanted to read this, I mean it's not very good.." The small bundle of pages I held in my hand was the very poorly attempted first ten chapters of a story I had been working on, a few words I had managed to scribble here and there at lunch time and in the early hours of mornings. I wasn't even completely sure what possessed me to show Damon; maybe a sign of trust, that he wasn't the only one willing to put a part of themselves into this relationship.

"No, I definitely still do" he validated firmly, snatching the sheets from my hand before I could change my mind. He flipped through the first few pages and then rested them on the back seat, smiling "Thanks for letting me see this, I'll look it over later."

I blushed and suddenly wanted to wrench them back, the fact that Damon was going to read my deficient ramblings that I tried to pass off as writing was disquieting. As if he could read my mind he diverted my attention by lowering my head back down to him and playing with the ends of my hair. He chuckled abruptly, causing my head that was resting on his taut stomach to shudder. I propped myself up onto my elbow, and glanced at him waiting for an explanation.

"Stefan" he expounded, squinting up at me. "I just remembered Stefan's probably back at the office folding my dry cleaning like a good little maid. No way he's going to get to hijack _this_ date"

Feeling a tiny ribbon of guilt that I left Stefan behind to deal with the clusterfuck back at home, I couldn't help but join in with Damon's amusement, his smile _was_ kinda contagious. Fiddling with the hem of Damon's shirt, I mentioned tentatively "The other day I accidently saw some ideas he had drawn up for the Carrington account, he's really good. Looked like he solved some of the problems that were road-blocking you."

Rather than the hostile shut down I was expecting, Damon nodded slowly. "He was always good at problem solving. Maybe I should take a look at those."

Trying not to show the shock on my face that Damon was considering letting Stefan handle something on the business side of things, I murmured an agreement. Unfortunately, I caught sight of the clock on the dashboard and groaned, slumping back down onto him "We're going to have to head back soon, it's getting dark."

"Fine" he consented, sitting up and stretching out the knots in his back and neck. Winking, he informed "But we're driving down the way we came up."

A week later Damon and I stumbled unceremoniously through his front door, the several glasses of wine we had at dinner catching up with us. Alaric had threatened us with legal action if we didn't find time to have one meal with him and luckily we were able to get away early that night and have some much needed time with our favorite attorney.

Damon lifted me up and sat me on the desk in his home office. He stood between my legs, supporting himself by bracing his arms either side of me and said "Alaric wished us congratulations."

"For what?" I asked, concentrating on not slurring.

"I believe he elequently worded it as 'finally getting our shit together'. I guess we weren't as surreptitious at dinner as we thought."

I felt a pinprick of worry at yet another person finding out, it made everything so irrefutable. Though the nuzzling Damon was preforming on my neck cleared all my doubts for now. _"We?" _I snorted. "It wasn't _me_ who was making sexual innuendoes all through the appetizers."

He tried to move his mouth up to mine before I stopped him by placing my hand over my lips. "I have wine breath" I warned, suddenly self-concious.

"That's a crock of shit" he snorted, prying my hand away. "So do I." He leant in and I was pretty sure he was using extra tongue to prove a point. His hands traced up my thighs and groaning he broke the kiss, his forehead resting against mine as he found the lace tops of my stockings. "Jesus Christ Elena." I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck and pulled him back to me, past the point of caring of how far this could go right now.

"I'm so in love with you".

That one whisper into my neck annihilated through the daze, everything came to a screeching halt and all of a sudden I wasn't feeling very drunk. I pushed his hands away and leant backwards, needing space "I'm sorry Damon, I can't tonight. It's too fast." For the first time since we started whatever this was, he looked disappointed at the rate we were going at. I wanted to, I did, but sex with him swiftly seemed like it would be something much more. And that was one more step forward I couldn't go back from. "I really am sorry, I didn't mean..."

"_Shit_, It's not about the sex Elena." he bit out angrily, interrupting. "It's the fact that I don't know what this is to you. I mean you slept with Tyler but won't..." He trailed off but his point had been made.

Pushing my worries aside for the moment, I realized for the first time how vulnerable I made him feel. He felt like I didn't even care as much for him as I did for a one night stand. Cupping his face, I shook my head "Tyler was a mistake and _this_ isn't a mistake." I pleaded "I'm getting there Damon, you just have to be patient."

A tight smile formed on his lips, but I was sure he still wasn't appeased. I pushed forward to hug him, rested my chin on his shoulder and hid my face. A severe bolt of panic run up my spine. What if I let him down? What if I could never match the depth of his feelings for me? The power to hurt him was terrifying.

He gently released me and went to the kitchen to get us some coffee, leaving a strange tense atmosphere following him. I sighed, dropped down behind the desk and went to sign into my e-mail account where I saw Damon's was already signed in. Before I could hit back, the top line caught my eye.

_E-Mail from Parsley Publishing- Mr. Salvatore we have received the beginnings of the manuscript you sent us. We would be glad to look-_

Frozen, I clicked onto the attached papers and realized I was reading my own words. I looked at the empty door Damon had just left from, he had sent my unfinished personal writing, that I wasn't even sure about giving to _him_, to a publisher behind my back.

* * *

**A/N- **Ugh the response I have gotten for this story is just stunning. You guys are the _best_. I'll never be able to thank you enough for just reading. And what Damon did with Elena's manuscript won't be a huge deal at first, more like another ripple added. Also, I'm going to Europe at the end of this month for a few weeks and won't be able to write there. I'm 99% positive I will be able to get out another chapter before I go but just in case I didn't want anyone to think I've abandoned DE (impossible). xoxo


	10. Chapter 10

**_You will never know love unless you surrender to it.- _Fools Rush In**

* * *

I stared at the e-mail for five minutes, closed my eyes and drew in a deep cleansing breath through my nostrils. Then I embraced my inner teenager, slammed the lid of the laptop shut, flew down the hallway and tried to open the front door. A large hand came shooting past my ear and banged the door back into it's latch.

"What's going on Elena?" Damon asked dangerously, pressed against my back from hip to chest.

Rattling the doorknob a few times I realized he wasn't going to budge and spun around, staring straight into his eyes. "I know you sent my manuscript to a publisher." I divulged, trying to keep my voice flat and emotionless. Smirk slipping off his face, I watched as the ramifications hit him. "I'm going home."

"The hell you are. We're going to talk about this."

Shrugging, I waited until he believed I was caving. His grip loosened and I ducked under his outstretched arm, making it to the downstairs bathroom just in time to slam and lock the door in his face.

His palm pounding repeatedly on the door, he ground out impatiently "Open the fucking door Elena."

"I'm too pissed off to discuss this with you right now." I pulled out a towel, placed it on the floor and dropped down on top of it. What I needed for him to do was let me go home or have five seconds peace so I could process and not overreact. When Damon and I fought it was like a match to gasoline, and it would be nice to avoid that.

I heard him slide down the other side of the door and sit down. Obviously, he wanted to hash this out, _now_. "Fine, i'll sit here and list all the presidents of the United States until you realize it'd be easier to just talk to me." He informed, the satisfaction heavy in his tone. "George Washington..."

Positive I could hold out longer than him, I made a distraction out of writing on the mirror _Damon S is an ass_ with his $50 Molton Brown hand soap. If he was going to be infantile, then so was I. However, when he droned past Roosevelt, I concluded that perhaps talking to him would be the better alternative if I didn't want to fall into a boredom induced coma. Yanking the door open, I stared with poorly disguised amusement as Damon fell backwards onto the tile floor.

"Nice" He rubbed his head and glared at me upside down as I leant over him. Lithely jumping to his feet, his eyes apprehended the writing on the mirror. "Wow, I really like what you've done with the place. Very avant garde, Blondie's career must be rubbing off on you."

Biting the inside of my cheek, I tried not to smile. This was another reason I was reluctant to face him right now, he just had a talent for making me laugh and making me forget that I was mad at him in the first place. "You wanted to talk, so let's talk." I ordered, my arms crossed in front of my chest.

'Here?" He looked around exasperated at our location before sighing and perching on the end of the tub. "So exactly how much trouble is this stunt going to land me in?"

Irritation made all the fine hairs on the back of my neck stand up. He wasn't taking the gravity of abusing my trust sincerely. "What were you thinking Damon? You went behind my back, you didn't even_ talk_ about it with me first. I thought we trusted each other."

At my last remark his eyes fell to his hands and I knew I had gotten through to him. "Because I'm a huge screw up and thought I was doing you a favor. I didn't think about the consequences, but I didn't do it to hurt you."

"Oh Damon." I breathed, half annoyed, half touched. My anger pretty much diminished, I joined him on the edge of the bath letting our shoulders touch. "I get that you thought you were helping me, I do. But you don't need to save me every step of the way. I need to save myself sometimes."

He sensed he was forgiven and put an arm around my shoulders, drawing me against his side. "Look, I'll tell the publisher we're not interested. Don't think for a second that I didn't believe you could write the next great American novel on your own merit, because I read it and it's pretty spectacular, but it felt weird knowing I could help and not doing it."

I smiled against his neck "Thank you for supporting me in your own fucked up way, but no more secrets okay?"

After he nodded, silently agreeing to my request, the last few doubts that I had been carrying around for a while rose to the surface. As we were already in the middle of a pseudo heart-to-heart, I knew this would be the appropriate time to broach them. I inhaled in a deep breath, braced myself and asked quietly "Why do you love me?". To fully come to terms with his feelings and move on to reciprocating them, I needed to be certain it wasn't a control thing on his part (this distrust particularly acute due to the way he always needed to guide and aid aspects of my life), or even the thrill of the chase. I was nothing special, a dime a dozen, and it still dumbfounded me that it was I he chose to fall for.

"Christ Elena" He groaned, combing his hands through his jet black hair. "You know epic speeches aren't my thing." But he tried anyways. For me. After a beat of silence he started to mess with the tap, turning the hot water on and off. "It was a Thursday when I knew for sure."

"A Thursday?" I watched puzzled as he darted out of the bathroom. Before I could get out that he doesn't need to runaway from me, he returned with an empty glass bottle of whiskey in his hand and dumped it down next to him. "Uh, that's pretty?"

He shot an icy look my way and I shut my mouth, letting him get his thoughts out. "I had just gotten off the phone with a jerk of a client and was in the foulest mood, you know the kind of one where everyone in the vicinity knows not to come near me." Pausing to shake his head and faintly chuckle, he continued "And you came flouncing through the door, a come-back on the tip of your tongue for every insult I lobbed your way, and then you tucked your hair behind your ear, pulled out a bottle of Jack and told me to man up because we were going to order pizza and get drunk. And I knew, known it every day since."

"You knew you loved me because I provided you with alcohol and encouraged bad habits?" I teased, bumping his shoulder with mine.

"No, I fell in love with you because you treated me like a person, and you actually _cared_ about me. Not my money or my status or the job, but me. I'm so surrounded by bullshit all the time Elena, and you're this little island in the middle of it all that keeps me afloat. I could be corny as hell and tell you how beautiful you are, how you make me feel alive, or how sometimes I piss you off on purpose because you're stunningly enthralling when you have a temper, but I can't pinpoint it down to a few things. I just love you, all of you."

I suddenly realized I had become light headed when I had forgotten to breathe in the midst of his words. Never had I heard such sentiment in his voice, never. And for that to be directed toward you was something powerful. I wasn't even unpleasantly overwhelmed, he wasn't saying it expecting something in return, he was saying like it was just a fact that he would always accept. Before he got the wrong idea and thought he had said too much, too fast, I spoke up "I remember that day, you were dealing with the McDod account and I was sick of seeing you chewing out everyone's asses." I smiled, recalling that the night actually ended up with him drunkenly teaching me in his office how to ballroom dance, putting the cotillion lessons his father had made him take in high school to good use. "But that was years ago." I realized abruptly. Had it really been that long for him?

"Yeah, around 9 months after you started working for me." He acknowledged. "After Katherine, I never wanted to feel like that about anyone ever again, but you somehow worked through all my defenses and she ended up just a footnote on the way I feel about one Elena Gilbert. For years I tried to fight it, I would rather have had you as friend then nothing at all and I didn't want to mess up our working relationship either. Obviously, that didn't go to plan." He picked the glass bottle up again and contemplated it "And this. This I kept to remind me of what you made me feel that day, that after I thought everything was demolished, there was something better waiting."

"You may be on to something there Salvatore." He quirked an eyebrow at me and I clarified "Sometimes things don't work out the way we expect, doesn't mean they're not meant to be." A blinding smile spread across his face and I grasped that it was because for the first time I had that acknowledged directly we were doing something right here, and maybe it was always supposed to turn out like this and wasn't just some flash in the pan.

The next few days went smooth as they ever had, which in itself should have been worrying because there was _always_ bumps in our road, but we carried on blissfully ignorant. I suppose it all started to go down hill when I stepped into Damon's office mid-afternoon to find him in the middle of a meeting with a client. A very blonde, very big breasted client who was practically salivating like a dog over my boss.

"Hello Elena" Damon greeted, shooting a quick glance my way. He turned to introduce me "Sadie, this is my..."

I don't know what possessed me to do it, it could have been her painted cherry lips pursing in my direction or the way her nose crinkled like she smelled something bad, but I interrupted with "His girlfriend. Great to meet you". Offering my hand to _Sadie, _I almost missed Bonnie in the corner suck in a breath and embark on a intense coughing fit. Damon's eyes flew wide open but he only nodded and smiled like nothing was out of the ordinary as I settled down into my seat and presented him with the files he had requested.

A tense hour later, I watched as Damon ushered a smiling Sadie out and was already regretting my behavior. He returned silently, and I felt like I was ten years old again, waiting for a scolding from my parents.

"Damon, if what Elena said is true then I need to know so we can make a public announcement and spin it the way we want before it gets out of our hands." Bonnie rose, managing to sound stern and submissive concurrently. I caught the glimpse of hurt in her eyes and felt even worse that she thought we had been purposely keeping it from her.

"Yeah, well I guess Elena just felt the need to purge" Damon smirked, a hint of steel undercutting any mirth. "Go ahead and prepare the statement, we're dating." Bonnie's lips tightened, and she exited with only a cold goodbye left behind her.

I regarded Damon as he moved around the drinks cabinet in a routine so familiar, I knew where his hands would land before he did. Abandoning the crystal tumbler in favor of swigging straight from the bottle, he raised his eyebrows "I seem to recall it was you who wanted to keep this our dirty little secret Elena. Remember? I can't be a bad, bad boy and get near you while we're working, wasn't that your order? Be professional?"

"You didn't seem to worry about being professional when you had your hands shoved up my bra the other day" I spat out, suddenly forgetting my remorse. "My ass you would take orders from me that you didn't want to, stop acting like I'm calling all the shots.

"Aren't you?"

Rolling my eyes, I chose to ignore the question. "I'm sorry" I sympathized sarcastically. "Did I ruin your plans to seduce her?"

He banged down the bottle with such force, I jumped out of my seat. Walking over, eyes flashing, he assumed his favorite stance of locking me in with his arms either side "When are you going to get over my history with other woman. What am I going to have to do to prove to you that none of them are even a blip on my radar."

After seeing him sleep with what seemed like every woman in the great state of New York for five years, I was finding it hard to get my head around the change. Still, it wasn't fair for me to throw his past in his face when he hadn't given me any reason to. "I'm sorry" I repeated, this time genuinely. "It was a childish move, I shouldn't have done it."

"I'm not pissed at you because you said it, it's not even because it was in front of a client." He sighed tiredly and lowered himself into the chair facing mine "I'm pissed you said it because you were jealous and you wanted to get one up on her. I had hoped then when you felt ready to call yourself my girlfriend it would be because that's what you wanted, no ulterior motives."

Fuck, I could not help putting every step wrong with this man. It didn't even enter my mind he would take it that way. Even when I wasn't trying, I found a way to hurt him "For the record, you're _not_ my dirty little secret. And while yes, what I said was compelled by jealousy and I should have discussed it with you first, _it is_ what I want." I faltered, unsure "Is that what you want?."

He shocked me by reaching over and pulling me tightly onto his lap, his eyebrows knitted "Tell me what you are one more time."

"Your girlfriend" I smiled, and used my pointer finger to smooth out the furrow in his temple. Catching me unawares, his lips devoured mine with such fervor and franticness that I understood Damon was in some ways still a very broken man and he needed reassurances much more than me. I did the only thing I could think of "Let's leave work early and go back to mine."

Eyes widening when the full implications of my proposal hit, he nodded and we made our way home barely speaking more than five words to each other. I swung open the door and dropped my car keys on the side table, switching on all the lamps as I moved around. "Coming?" I motioned with my head, and led him towards the bedroom. I was adamant this needed to happened here, in my bed, untainted by his previous flings. Damon usually oozed sex in every aspect of the word, even when he was preforming the most mundane of tasks, so I was surprised when I realized he was looking uneasy sat on my floral comforter. "What is it?" I asked, taking a pause to sink down next to him. I had expected crude innuendos and a burning heat.

"Are you sure this is what you want?". He chuckled, shaking his head and looked down "God I sound like a teenager about to do it for the first time. This is probably the only thing I'm good at, I don't know why I'm freaking out on you."

"I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't ready" I assured, taking the pins out of my hair and letting it flow down my back. "And maybe you're freaking out because this time it actually means something to you." Taking the initiative, I straddled his lap and unbuttoned his shirt, my fingers fumbling the fastenings a little and his fingers dancing around my shoulders and through my hair. As I pushed his shirt off and felt the desire pool low in my belly, I let myself take in every inch of his exposed skin with a devotedness I had never been allowed before. As I bent my arm to pull the zip down on my dress, Damon jerked like he was coming out of a daze and stopped my hand. "Let me?" He pleaded, like a small boy asking for a treat.

He stripped and shredded each item of my clothing with rare tenderness, drawing out the process and watched almost frozen as I retuned the favor. And for the first time ever, I was in a place I never thought I would be, in bed with Damon Salvatore, with nothing between us or to hide behind. Suspending himself over me, he drunk every inch in, imperfections and all, then he claimed me in the only way he knew how to. The few times I had pictured this it had been wanton and rough, but the reality was quite the opposite, he was devout and if I had ever doubted his love before there was no way I could deny it now, not after this. The underlying hunger and awkwardness of a first coupling was still there, but beyond that was something extra that i'd never had, ever, and we chased it to our release, my name on his breath.

I kissed him once, twice and a third time before collapsing next to him, our perspiration tangled and my heart beat pounding in my ears. We lay in silence for a while, trying to absorb everything, imprint everything.

"Hey, I wondered where that had gone" Damon spoke abruptly, pointing to an old sweater hanging on the foot of my bed with his collage alma mater printed on in with cracked, flaking vinyl. I had 'borrowed' it one night, liking the smell and the way it fit. "It's been missing for years" He observed suspiciously.

"It's comfortable and warm, sue me" I grumbled, giggling as he tickled his fingers up the sides of my torso and placed open mouthed kisses on my neck. The Damon I knew was back, and although I wouldn't exchange the intensity I had just seen him exhibit for the world, we needed some levity to be able to handle and recognize the experience we just had together.

I woke up in the middle of the night, his arm thrown across my stomach and my leg wedged between his and knew there was one last thing I had to make sure he understood. While I couldn't breach the final frontier and say those three little words to him _yet, _there was something I could tell him and believed without a shadow of doubt. "Damon" I whispered into the shell of his ear, lightly shaking his arm. "Wake up."

He moaned and ran a hand over his face and through his hair 'Wha..what's the matter?"

"I just needed you to know I can't imagine my life without you in it, wouldn't want to."

His face displayed a quick expression of shock, then he pulled me to him and loved me in every way i'd ever expected, letting _everything_ go this time. After, we both fell into deep sleep and were only woken up the next morning by the phone cutting into our consciousness. The sheets pulled over my head, I blindly pushed my hand out, groping until I grabbed the offending object and put it to my ear. "Hello?"

_"Elena honey, you sound very groggy. Don't tell me you only just woke up, it's midday."_

Just what I needed, my mother scolding me "Mom, it's Saturday and I had a late night."

_"Oh, were you working with Mr. Salvatore?"_

I grinned as I felt Damon stir and pull the sheet from my shoulders, kissing the slope along my back "Yeah, you could say that." I tried halfheartedly to slap him away behind me "So how are you doing mom? How's dad?"

"Hi Miranda" Damon smirked, whispering towards the handset, causing me to have to slap a hand over his mouth and shoot him a look. My mother would probably find out soon enough, but it was probably best for her to not discover us over the phone by hearing me being molested by _Mr. Salvatore_.

Fortunately, she didn't hear anything "_Oh we're perfect darling, but well, we did want to find a way to thank Mr. Salvatore for what he did. I know he said not to say anything, but I figure he's just being modest."_

I turned around fully to look at Damon, a half smile playing on my lips, wondering what insane thing he had gotten up to now. "Why, what did he do that we have to thank him for?".

"Shit, give me the fucking phone Elena" The expression that crossed Damon's face was pure raw fear and he shot his hand out grabbing for it.

Baffled, I ducked out of the way and stood up, wrapping the sheet around me but still locking my eyesight with his. "Why mom?" I repeated, tenser this time. "What did Damon do?"

"_Everything he did for your Uncle John sweetie, he called and helped arrange the rehab, insisted on paying for it. Paid off all the debts owed too. And well, he didn't say anything to us, but I think he had someone put the fear of God into John, we saw him before he went into the clinic and he looked for want of a better phrase, roughed up. Can't really say I blame Damon after what my brother in law did to you..."_

She continued speaking but I had already hung up and dropped the phone clattering to the floor, the dial tone buzzing around the room. "You bastard" I breathed. "You promised me. _YOU PROMISED_."

My anger seemed to enrage his "You think I was really going to let him get away with what he did? That I was going to let that parasite hang over your family? You know me better than that."

All at once I felt very naked, very exposed and very deceived. "What can I say to get it through to you that I'm not yours to fucking control Damon, I'm not some damsel in distress where you can manipulate every part of my life." I looked at him, the fury I was feeling the most intense I had ever felt "Not only did you promise me you wouldn't interfere in the first place, you swore to me the other day that there wasn't going to be any more secrets."

"This all went down way before everything with the publisher."

"That's even worse, you've been lying about it. You had so many opportunities to tell me and then you let me do that with you" I waved my hand over to the bed, feeling sick to my stomach. "Is that what you want me to be? Your prostitute? You throw some cash around and I'm forever in your debt, is that what gets you off?"

He stood, his stature more imposing then I'd witnessed before. For a second I got caught up in his eyes. Since the day I had met him I'd learnt every emotion he carried, tried to hide, was mirrored clear as day in those blue depths, you just had to know what to look for. All I could see reflected back at me now was fractured pain. "Screw. You. Elena." He seethed. "You know damn well that's not what it's about. You're using this as an excuse to push me away because last night got too real for you, too fast."

I stared at him, mouth agape "Are you delusional? You just blew my trust to smithereens, and you still can't see what the problem is. If this was an isolated event maybe we could move past it, but you keep pulling this shit and you'll continue to do it."

"What exactly are you trying to say?" He stilled, waiting for my response.

I was unequipped to deal with this, so naive and overwhelmed. I couldn't think, and the four walls seemed to be closing in on me. "I don't know Damon." I shouted, balling my fists. "We need to take a step back and get some space, it's only been me and you in one way or another for a long, long time. I don't remember who I was before you, or even know who I'd be without you." My words that I had spoken to him in the midst of the night, suddenly took on a new, unpleasant slant.

Damon laughed one long humorless bark that chilled me to my core "This whole relationship facade was just wishful thinking on my part, I should have let you go a long time ago." He shuffled to the side of my bed and violently pulled on his pants "I'll tell you what, because it always seems like you're so desperate to get out of my clutches, i'll make a deal with you. You ask me to leave right now, and I'll walk out the door and we'll be done. But I mean we'll really be done, you'd be free. No more having to work for me, no more having to sympathy fuck me."

The phone still laying on the floor started to ring again, no doubt my mother calling back to see why I'd cut her off. We both stared at it, ignored it, then stared at each other. He lifted one eyebrow, anticipating my answer. "What's it going to be?"

"Please leave Damon" I asked, scarcely believing the words coming out of my mouth. Surprised to find out I was choking back sobs, I just couldn't find enough silence in my mind to figure out how we could work around this. Before I knew what was happening he brushed past me, slamming out of my door and my life, leaving my hand grasping at thin air.

I tried to think back to when it all went wrong. Was it when I kissed him out of the blue that one crucial night? Was it when I slept with him trying to get him to believe I cared? Was it when we first met, no idea we would turn out this way? Every moment I shared with him blurred into one colorful mess and my heart just wouldn't. stop. hurting.


	11. Chapter 11

**_I'm never as good as when you're there.- _Almost Famous**

* * *

_Walking across the alabaster sand of the Bahamas was no easy task when you're holding a tray aloft filled with mixed alcoholic drinks. Making a beeline towards the two men lounging under a palm tree, my toes sunk into the heated grains below and I coughed loudly to declare my arrival. "Okay. Ric, I have one Hurricane for you" I executed a bunny dip and lowered the glass into his hand, a beaming smile on my face. "And will you look at that, two drinks left for me." Slipping into the vacant deck chair between Damon and Alaric, I let out a contented sigh and admired the flawless blue sky, the sun warming my face._

_The charcoal haired man on my right who had been silent up until now, shifted and pushed his Ray-bans up, turning his penetrating eyes towards me. "Bullshit."_

_I smirked and took a long pull on the straw coming out of the blue concoction resting in my lap. "Oh I'm sorry, did you want me to get you something too? I was under the impression that when you said you don't drink that 'fruity tropical shit" you were going to pass."_

_Alaric snickered next to me, hastily changing it to a cough when he caught Damon glaring at him over my shoulder. "I'll take one for the team if it means keeping you on the right side of sober" Damon cracked, eyebrows wiggling. "I know all too well the effect alcohol has on you."_

_"You're never going to let me live that down are you?" I sighed, passing over to him the most brightly colored, girly, Cosmo I could find on the menu from the little shack down the beach. "I made sure she put in two cocktail umbrellas, so no tantrums."_

_He shook his head in mock disappointment, fished one of the frilly umbrellas out and tucked it in my hair behind the ear. "Thank you sassy."_

_"So is this what you guys do on these vacations, lay around all day?" I watched Alaric as his eyes followed a bikini clad woman walking in front of us down the beach. "And trawl for girls, I should have guessed. You know your sunglasses subterfuge doesn't work if you turn your head 360° while you perv on them Ric."_

_"That's why I'm appointing you as my my official wing-woman this week" The sandy haired man informed. "You can give me all the tips."_

_I laughed out loud and turned onto my stomach, hoping to even the tan on my back "In your dreams Saltzman, I'm not helping you scam on poor defenseless women." Restless, I shook my foot up and down and wiped away a few beads of perspiration from my hairline "Alright I'm taking a dip, who's with me?"_

_Alaric snorted "Good luck with that one, I'm not moving until I fry and Damon doesn't do swimming."_

_"Is that so?" I deliberated, turning my head to the other side to stare at my boss through squinted eyes. "And why's that?"_

_"Because this" Damon used his hand to gesture the length of his upper body "Is too good to get salty and sandy."_

_I rolled my eyes, sat up and pulled my red sarong off "Okay Fabio, have it your way." Maneuvering my way through the other tourists back down to the shore, I stuck a toe in the small breaking waves, pleased to find the turquoise ocean bath-water tepid. I spent the next ten minutes wading in as far as I could go and finding a small group of hidden tide pools. Just as I was bending over one of the rock formations studying the colorful starfish, a cascade of water came pouring over my head. In shock, I turned, blinking through the droplets, my hair soaked. _

_"You looked like you needed to cool down, I was happy to oblige" Damon explained innocently, a child sized plastic bucket clutched in one hand._

_Wringing the water out of my ponytail, I scrunched my nose up at him "That was very generous of you, how could I ever thank you enough." The sun glinted off his teeth, his smile proud "I thought you didn't 'do swimming'."_

_"Changed my mind" He shrugged, moving to stand awkwardly in front of me, blocking my view of the beach._

_Curious, I inquired suspiciously "Why are you standing like that?". _

_A sheepish look on his face, he stretched his arms up, pulling the muscles in his stomach rigid "You're parading around in that blue skimpy bikini and some of the assholes on the beach are taking that as an invitation to rubberneck."_

_"Firstly, I'd hardly call this bikini 'skimpy'." I reproached lightly, the balmy breeze ruffling against our skin. "And the protective big brother act is cute and all, but it's not necessary."_

_Murmuring under his breath so quietly I barely caught the words, he scoffed "Yeah, big brother. That's where I was going with that." He rolled his neck and appeared to jump to the next subject "I almost forgot, you're going to get in a lot of trouble if you keep doing things like serving our drinks. I told you that you'd be off the clock when I invited you to come, so take the time to relax Elena. Ree-laax."_

_"It's the least I could do, just the opportunity to be here is fantastic." He waved my appreciations away and with my head tilted, I inquired "Aren't you bored of me being around you all the time at home? Why _did _you want me to come? Not that I'm not super ecstatic you did."_

_Thumbing behind him somewhere towards the vicinity where Alaric sat, he griped "Because I couldn't take another trip with just Romeo over there". The water was now hip height on us and fighting a smile, he allowed "And you're not the worst company in the world."_

_"Glowing praise" I teased vivaciously. Unexpectedly overcome by happiness at being at an exclusive island with two people who were fast becoming close friends, I raised my arms and twirled in the crystal clear water, fascinated by the sunlight sparkling through the gaps in my fingers. I caught Damon observing me, his brow creased and a strange expression crossing his face._

_"Having fun?" He queried._

_Not stopping my pivots, I grinned at him "As a matter of fact I am. You should try it sometime, after all life is for living."_

Life is for living. Life is for living. Life is for living. I bolted upright in bed, the old shirt I was using as pajamas drenched with sweat and sticking to my skin, my breath shallow and labored. The clock on my nightstand mockingly informed me that it was deep into the night and sane people had no business being awake. Yesterday was the first full day after the date I branded as D-day (Damon day? Disaster Day? Take your pick). I'd woken that next morning _knowing _something significant had shifted, we'd had some real doozies before, but this argument was incomparable. The actions and words exchanged weren't ones you could take back and forget. Warring between regret, contrition and resentment, immediately any thoughts of a truce vanished when I found my final paycheck and some paperwork delivered on my doorstep. It didn't quite hit me until later in the day that this is how it ends, all those years summarized with a bunch of ones and zeroes and impersonal forms from Human Resources.

Implementing my first line of defense, I went for full on denial and crawled under the covers, only now waking up after a vivid dream of the first vacation I took with _him. _Why my subconscious chose that specific memory to recount, god only knew. I ground the heels of my hands into my eyes, frustrated that any hint of fatigue had now disappeared.

Feeling slightly insane about the plan forming in my mind, I only considered it for a second before deciding it was now or never, not like I was going to get anymore sleep tonight anyways. I grabbed my set of keys to Salvatore Corp., threw on some black clothing that I imagined would be something appropriate to wear when trespassing into your former workplace, and got behind the wheel before I could talk myself back into the house.

Brad, the phlegmatic, pimply, night security guard, by sheer luck obviously hadn't checked his memos and let me in on recognition, barely turning his head from the portable TV he was watching. Flicking on the switch to bathe the top floor in light, I mechanically gathered anything left behind in my rarely used desk, trashing most of it. Like a punch to the stomach, when I swung open the door to Damon's office, memories and the lingering scent of him came slamming into me with unexpected force.

I brutally pinched the bridge of my nose and mentally ordered myself to keep my shit calm. Knowing our things routinely got mixed in together, I did a quick inspection of the three wooden drawers and found a set of polaroids stuffed forgotten in the back of one. Taken by Alaric, I had Damon piggy backing me, my knees buckling and both of us laughing so hard our eyes were squeezed tightly shut, evidently coming home from a late night out. Guessing that he wouldn't want to set sight on them again, I crammed them into the side of my purse. Biting my lip and trying not to think about the emotional weight of what I was about to do, I unclasped the bracelet he had given me from my wrist and laid it in a place he would see straight away, letting my fingertips brush the gems one last time. Startled by the sound of heavy approaching footsteps, I had the presence of mind to turn the lights off and duck under the desk to hide. I made about a million different deals to every deity I could think of for that tread not to belong to Damon. The door swung open and I sucked in a breath and held it.

"Who's there? I have the police a button away."

Wrong Salvatore. I smiled softly in relief "It's fine Stefan, it's only me." I crawled out on my knees, knocking my head on the wooden desk and trying to look as elegant as possible while scrabbling around on the floor in the middle of the night. Perfectly normal.

He caught me by the arms and helped me stand up "Um, do you make a habit of hiding in the dark?"

"Not if I can help it." I bent down and picked up the small cardboard box I was using, hitching it onto my hip. "I just came to pick up some of my stuff. Was trying to avoid doing it during the day when everyone would be here." Stefan gazed at me curiously and I couldn't help but wonder about how much he was aware of. What exactly had Damon told him?

He coughed awkwardly "Yeah, my brother mentioned that you quit."

I dropped my eyes, quitting was an interesting way of putting it "That's all he said?"

"Well technically he didn't say it, he texted it. He hasn't been in to work and I haven't seen him. The only contact i've had is the orders he's been sending my way, hence my late night."

A crude twist in my gut materialized when I heard that Damon hadn't been in, the urge to make sure he was okay was forceful. I had to remind myself that it was my fault he was that way in the first place, and that secretly I wouldn't have felt much better if I had been told he was doing fantastic.

"Elena, what's going on with you guys? I'm kinda in the dark about everything right now."

I shook my head, ashamed, still angry "I can't Stefan. I'm sorry, not tonight." There _was_ one last thing I could try to do for the Salvatore brothers though "But you should go see him, check on him. He's probably going to be hateful and do everything to push you away but I think he's going to need you right now. It's a chance to make things right."

Stefan carefully considered my words and then nodded slowly "Is there anything else I can do to help?"

"If you could send the things I left at his house over sometime, that'd be great". I smiled in farewell and walked past him, turning at the last second and lowering my voice 'Take care of him Stefan, for me." Reaching into the top of the box I was carrying, I handed him the pink stapler which had caused our first argument and gave a self-deprecating smile "You should have this, passing the mantle or whatever."

He accepted it looking like he wanted to say more but finally settled on "Good luck Elena."

And then I truly was adrift. Every connection, every routine, everything I knew was gone. I'd never felt so lost, or alone for that matter. Hadn't even realized until now the full extent that Damon filled in my life. The white-hot chagrin that I'd felt at what he did was still there, but lessened, in the background, muted by stronger feelings.

After a few days of living on my couch, watching, but not really seeing the TV, I decided I needed to do something to keep my mind busy, anything to break me out of this slump. Sometimes when I woke up in the morning, I would forget for a second what had changed and be halfway through dressing for work when I remembered, or would have to stop myself from stocking up on Damon's favorite food at the grocery store. One day I had driven almost all the way to his house before it hit me. So I started cleaning my apartment, from top to bottom, and that's where Caroline found me, alphabetizing the cans in my kitchen cupboard.

"Elena!" She demanded from behind me, he hand clasped on my arm.

I jumped, regaining my balance just in time on the ledge I was precariously kneeling on. "Jesus Care, a heads up would have been nice." Using her shoulder to lean on, I slid down from the counter and began filling a bucket full of hot water.

"A heads up? I've been knocking and calling for the last five minutes, it's like you were in a trance. And while we're on the topic why did I have to find out from _Damon _that you no longer worked for him?"

"What? When did you speak to Damon?" I wrung out a sponge and started vigorously scrubbing the sink.

"Uh a few hours ago? I haven't been able to get hold of you for days Elena. I went to catch you at work and he said it was over and if I wanted the details I'd have to ask you."

At least he was back at work. I continued frantically scrubbing "How was he?"

"Besides being his usual douchebag self? He wasn't looking great." She grabbed my fingers, and forcefully removed the sponge "Dammit Elena, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing! I'm trying to clean."

Caroline looked at me disbelievingly, and turned my palms over "Your hands are rubbed raw, this isn't cleaning, it's full on denial." She appraised me with her lips pursed "You look like shit, have you been sleeping?"

My cell beeped and I thanked god for small miracles putting off Caroline's inquisition for another minute. Pulling it out from my back pocket, I checked my inbox.

_"Elena, why do I have Damon freaking the fuck out at me over some missing Polaroids?- Stefan"_

Huh, I guess Caroline _wa_s the lesser of two evils in this situation, I ignored the text and put my phone away. Then I promptly slid to the floor, finally had the breakdown I'd been keeping on the edge and spilled the whole story through gasps of sobs that I didn't know I was holding in.

"Shit, the whole thing just spectacularly blew up in both of your faces didn't it?" She reached across, smoothed some of my hair down and to her credit didn't so much as mutter _I told you so_. "Well at least it made one thing obvious for you."

Sniffling, I wiped under my eyes "What's that?"

"Oh Elena, I'll wait for you to realize it on your own, it'll happen soon enough. But if I can give a little advice?"

I nodded, desperate for anything that may help right now "Sure."

"Use this time to find yourself, as cliche and hippyish as that sounds. You wanted to step out from under Damon's shadow, granted not in this way, but it's your chance. And then the rest will fall into place."

She made a fair point, so the next morning I did something I hadn't done for years and years, I went to the local ballet studio and danced for a few hours, slowly remembering pirouettes and positions from years past. Then I went the next morning and the morning after that. Before long, I had found a new release, only remembering to leave in the mornings when my old injury started to act up. The afternoons I spent writing, not the story I'd given Damon, I trashed that and started afresh. This one I poured everything into, pushing my comfort level each time I sat down at my computer.

And as I had wondered what my life would have been like without Damon, I tried to emulate it, I banned myself from thinking of him (easier said then done), and put everything that reminded me of him in a box in the back of my closet. I hung out with Caroline more than I'd ever had time to do before, and for a while I just did whatever I wanted when the mood struck me, a luxury I hadn't had in a long time. Basically, all I focused on was me.

After a few weeks of that came the clarity.

1. I missed Damon. Not in the 'Oh, I haven't seen you in a while, maybe we should get coffee some time' kind of way, but in the 'Holy shit, this aches to my bones' kind of way.

2. Damon and I were always destined to fail in a relationship while I was working for him. Being in each other's pockets constantly and never having the space to step back and really see what we were meant to be together and separately was a problem. I'd always thought it was everyone else who I needed to prove to I could handle my life without Damon helping, but really it was me I needed to prove it to.

3. I could see now that it wasn't Damon that I didn't want in my life, but the fear he brought. I was too scared to put my everything into us when the fallout could be so catastrophic. So I toed the line and that wasn't fair, he deserved all of me, to have someone love him the way he loved. While what he did with John and the other meddling in my life was still infuriating, it wasn't unforgivable and I'd always known Damon was that way, perhaps I_ had _used that as an excuse to push him away when he got too close.

So the worst that could have happened, did. We imploded. Yet, still I survived and that in turn made me understand I could have survived whatever was thrown my way, including what might have potentially happened between me and Damon had I let go of my doubts. After all those revelations, I found a little more peace and ease, but I hadn't figured out what it all meant. Hind sight is a beautiful thing, but I'm not sure what it could change.

Monday morning I marched up to Saltzman Law offices to pay Alaric a visit. He sat typing at his desk, not noticing me until I had already heavily sat myself down in front of him.

'Elena" He greeted warily, his face guarded "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Yeah, I'm sorry to just come out of the blue, but you were the only person I could think of who can do this."

Alaric's jaw tightened and he pushed himself back from his desk a couple of inches 'If you've come to talk about Damon, or get the 411 on how he's doing, I really don't feel like discussing that with you."

I should have been expecting the hostility coming from Damon's best friend, still it cut deep and I hated that our mutual friends were forced to choose sides. "Oh no, I wouldn't ask you to do that." Although, I did desperately want to break my own rule and beg for any scraps on the oldest Salvatore. "I came to set up a payment plan, there's some money I need to return to Damon and I have to make sure it gets to him."

"You really want to go down that route? Haven't you done enough to prove to him you don't want his help? It's not like he'll take the money anyways."

I violently blinked to fight back the tears threatening to form, obviously Alaric had the whole story and was perfectly enlightened that it was John's loan money I was trying to repay. "It's not.." I looked down at my fingers twisting together and shook my head "It's not that I'm trying to shove it in his face or doing it out of malice, it's just something I need to do for myself." Looking the lawyer straight in his eyes so he knew I was being honest, I admitted "I think Damon will understand why I'm doing it, and that's why he'll accept it."

Alaric impassively stared, then the corners of his eyes softened just noticeably enough for me to take a small sigh of relief. "A monthly plan okay for you?"

"Yes, that'd be fine." We sat in silence while he got all the details and everything set up and then with one punch of a key he turned back to me and gave a tight smile. I took it as my cue to go. "Thanks for your help Ric, it was good to see you."

I'd just made it to the glass door when his voice, gruffer then usual, carried across the room.

"I know he's not without fault in this whole clusterfuck, but it's you who could fix it Elena. If he'll let you."

I processed his words all the way home and all the way through my front door, only to be jogged out of my thoughts when I discovered a brown padded envelope in my mailbox. After grabbing a coffee and not remembering ordering anything recently, I opened and upended it, Damon's mothers bracelet falling into my outstretched palm. My breath hitched and I checked the envelope to see if there was any notes that came with it. There was nothing.

Stubborn until the end, Damon had to have the last say. While I was staring at the emeralds that I never thought i'd see again, what I'd learnt in the small amount of time I'd been away and the growth I'd achieved all came to a head. Everything in my life up to this point fit together like puzzle pieces. I barely paid attention to the cup in my hands slipping through my fingers and smashing to pieces onto the floor.

I was in love with Damon Salvatore, probably had been for a long while.

* * *

**A/N-**Ugh, not my favorite chapter, but it had to be done. Even with Elena's revelation there will still be more angst to come. She'll need to work out exactly what that discovery means for her and Damon of course won't be easy or receptive anymore, he's angry and hurt.

So every time I sat down to pack, I got bored and started writing this instead, which is why there's another update. I promise that this time it really will be the last chapter you'll have to endure for a while before I come back. Your reviews still astound me and really help me make sure that I'm going in the right direction with this fic. I wish there was a better way I could thank you all then just writing this measly note, but THANK YOU. xoxo


	12. Chapter 12

**_I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible_- When Harry Met Sally**

* * *

It was strange the way the feeling hit me in those slow like mollasses minutes. Reluctantly at first, just a trickle and then the dam broke and it shattered, all consuming, until all I could feel was love for him to the tips of my fingernails. Zipping and surging through veins and arteries, making it absolute that I would never be released from it's clutches again.

Funny the years, months and hours it took me to have the breakthrough but once it happened I'd never been more steadfast and convinced about anything before in my life.

For about a day I mourned my ignorance, now I was left burdened with a weird, tugging sensation deep in my chest that was inescapable. Then I realized I'd been running and ducking, trying to ignore this revelation for a longer time than I cared to admit and the more I avoided it, the more devastating the fallout would have been.

"Damon, there's something I should tell you. And I don't really know how to say it but I think i'm in-". I broke off cringing and waited, confident I had made the biggest of errors in my wording.

Sure enough, he sneered "You_ think_? Oh well, if it's a slight possibility then by all means".

I frantically shook my head and the imagined reflection of Damon I had been practicing with in the mirror disappeared and I was left hatefully criticizing myself for managing to even screw up a rehearsal love confession. I had rapidly come to the epiphany that it was imperative to talk to Damon as soon as possible, try to glue back together the pieces of us that had been left smashed on the floor like my coffee cup. We needed to discuss everything, help me get over his control tendencies and understand why he did what he did, and see if my inability to come to terms with reality could be forgiven. I was positive that it wasn't the right time to tell him I love him yet, but i'd found myself speaking the words out loud to the mirror anyway, tasting what they felt like in my mouth.

"Focus Ms. Gilbert" Madame Gabrielle chastised me for the hundredth time that morning, slamming her wrinkled palm down onto the barre. "You're in the wrong position again."

Scrunching my eyes shut, I tried to arrange my feet correctly and bring my concentration back into the room. "Sorry, my leg is acting up." I lied.

My ballet teacher's lips puckered into a tight smile, a severely tweezed eyebrow arching up "Dear, i've been doing this long enough to know when it's an injury that's slowing you down and when it's not." Her Russian accent softening and polishing her words, she correctly speculated "No, there's something else distracting you. Your dancing is remarkable when your heart is in it, but something is holding you back. I suggest you work out what that is."

Left motionless by her words, I suddenly burst into action, grabbing my dance bag with my fingertips on the way out the exit and ignoring the teacher's bewildered calls echoing down the hallway after me.

I stood knocking at Damon's door for at least twenty minutes before I gave it up as a lost cause and resigned myself to going to the last place I wanted this whole thing to play out. Walking into the foyer of Salvatore Corp. was peculiar, like coming back into your house and all the furniture had been moved an inch to the left, or coming home from college and finding out your old bedroom has been made into a gym. I couldn't put my finger on what it was, but it just felt off.

"Name please?" The receptionist smiled plasticly behind a monochrome desk.

"Really Ava? You used to see me here every day for the last five years, you know my name." I restrained myself from pinching the bridge of my nose and rolling my eyes. She never was the brightest bulb, but this was ridiculous.

Her grin grew tighter, impossibly white teeth shining "Sorry it's just protocol. Name please?"

Gritting my teeth, I decided it would be quicker to play along "Elena Gilbert. I need to see Damon- Mr. Salvatore- Whatever."

Ava typed some information into her computer and for the first time some genuine emotion showed on her face, she looked uncomfortable "Your name is on _the list_." She started to trip over her words "I can't tell you anything or let you in further."

Everyone who'd worked here for any amount of time knew what having your name on _the list _meant. It meant you're a pariah, not allowed any information or allowed a step past the desk. Usually the honor is reserved for dissatisfied clients and disgruntled ex-employees, and now apparently former love interests.

"That's fine, don't worry about it." I gave her a brief, tired wave knowing it was pointless to argue, it wasn't her fault.

"Wait" She gently grabbed my arm as I turned to leave, an expression on her face like she was about to give away the nuclear codes to the enemy. "He's not here, I don't know when he'll be back but maybe his brother could help you?"

I'd expected hurdles and being blacklisted barely registered in my mind, the new lead that Stefan could provide reawakened the spark in me. So without contacting Caroline or anyone else that I usually needed to talk every little thing through with I scrambled through my tote bag and found the hastily scribbled address that Stefan had given to me months ago.

His apartment was in the bad part of town. Clanging doors, pounding music and yelling came from the complex around me while I hesitantly knocked, brown peeling paint falling away as I pulled my hand back.

A beat while he checked the peephole and then the door swung open to reveal the younger Salvatore, his eyebrows in the permanent furrowed state they always seemed to be in "Elena? What are you doing here?"

Realizing I was twisting my fingers manically in front of my stomach, I pressed my damp palms down to the side of my thighs. Stefan and I had left on a good note, but who knew what he thought of me now. "I'm sorry to just turn up without calling first, but I was wondering if I could talk to you?" Amending myself, I quickly added "About Damon?"

"Sure, of course. Come in." He held the door open wider and moved aside.

Comforted that although he still looked non-plussed he was wearing a friendly smile, I stepped over the threshold and let my eyes adjust to the darkness. The interior wasn't much better than the exterior and I was surprised to find the room filled with cardboard boxes.

"Moving" Stefan spoke behind me, shutting the door and answering my unasked question. "Packing's a bitch with a infant to take care of as well."

I mentally kicked myself for being too self-involved and forgetting about his daughter "How is Lydia?"

He couldn't quite hide the beam of paternal pride that was coming from his eyes "She's doing good, having a few hours with the babysitter so I can get the last of the things boxed up."

Tentatively perching on the edge of a sofa that looked like it had seen better days, I struggled with how to word the question his moving had brought about, hoping it didn't mean Damon and him had fractured back to what they had been. "Not going too far away I hope?"

Stefan concentrated on dragging a roll of masking tape around the side of a box "No, luckily just moving to a better neighborhood. Damon's idea, said he needed me closer to the office in case of an emergency. But well..., you know what he says and what he means are two different things."

I almost laughed at how true that statement was. Seeing my opening, I inquired "Speaking of, you wouldn't happen to know where I could find him would you?"

Hands stilling, he turned on his hunches and glanced up at me, half-sympathetic half-wary "Elena, that's probably not-"

"Stefan, please." I held my hands up to interrupt. "Look, I know what you're going to say. And you're probably right and I'm probably too late, it's been weeks, but there really are some things that need to be talked about. I just don't know where else to go."

"As I said before it's really none of my business and I'm not taking sides, but he's not in the best place right now and it I don't know if-". He sighed and broke himself off after seeing my determined face unwavering. "My brother's in Los Angeles, no idea when he's returning."

A dull headache started to throb behind my temples and I knitted my eyebrows together, perturbed "We don't have any accounts in L.A." One look at Stefan's face and I realized how stupid I was being "He's not there on business is he." I nodded in understanding without waiting for a response. "Of course he's not."

"He took an extended vacation." Stefan scrutinized me, obviously trying to keep the pity on his face down to a minimum. He leant across and printed something on a pad of paper, ripping out a leaf and handing it to me "If you're serious about talking to him this is where he's staying. And Elena? I've been in the lucky position of having Damon Salvatore mad at me, it doesn't last forever no matter what he might have you believe. You just have to want to put the effort in."

I accepted the piece of paper he held out for me, digesting how true his advice was. He was unequivocally right, the only way Damon and I could move forward is if I took the time to put the work in. "I guess I'm going to Hollywood then" I murmured, shocked at how easy the decision came.

Stefan stood up with me as I rose to leave, a small smirk that was a shadow of his brother's fighting across his mouth "Is it Halloween already?"

I followed his eye-line down and realized I was still dressed in a leotard, skirt, and a pair of pale pink slippers on my feet. "Shit" I cursed, returning his smile "It was such a spur of the moment coming here I forgot to change after class."

"Well, it was good seeing you anyway. Don't be a stranger." He reached forward and drew me into a loose hug.

Slightly startled at his rare initiated display of affection, I got out "I won't be. It was good to see you too."

"Oh Elena?" He called, almost as if was an afterthought as I stepped back into daylight. "Don't let him walk all over you, it's not only you who has amends to make."

Raising my hand one last time in agreement and farewell, I don't think he would ever understand the modicum of strength I gained from his parting words.

It barely took me anytime at all to go home, pack, change and end up thirty thousand feet in the air. The guy behind me jamming his feet into my seatback and the baby that had been crying the whole flight all became inconsequential as I pondered making an unplanned trip across the country on the off chance I could get Damon to have a five minute conversation with me. I watched out the window as LAX grew larger during our descent, palm trees and tiny blue squares of swimming pools shimmering up all over the landscape. Little Elena Gilbert chasing after the un-chaseable Damon Salvatore, not even sure what she'd find on the other end. This was either going to be the best or worst decision i'd made yet.

Without bothering to find a hotel, I sent the cab driver straight to the address I had on the scrap of paper that i'd been clutching the whole flight, the blue ink slightly bleeding from the sweat on my hands. My cell phone was full of messages as soon as I stepped off the plane, it was easier just to turn it off. Right as we pulled up to the Spanish style spilt-level ranch nestled in the Hollywood Hills, I knew it was the house Damon was renting. It had his preferred decadent style slapped all over it.

All the lights in the residence glared brightly from each room, every door and window left wide open, sounds of talking, laughter and music spilling out of every crevice. I sucked in a deep breath, pushed my chin up and stepped into what appeared to be a recreation of Mardi Gras crammed into a house. Inside was wall to wall people and I was hard pressed to find someone who wasn't this side of wasted. Jamming my thin elbows out, I muscled my way through the first floor, coming out the other side onto a glass balcony overlooking the foothills below. It would have been an impressive vista if i'd made the time to look. Taking a breather and trying to search over the heads inside for a familiar raven haired one, I was diverted from my hunt by a hand trailing up the back of my calf.

"Oh baby, i'd destroy you."

"Yeah, try it and i'll destroy your face" I cringed and wrenched my leg back from the inebriated party goer who looked like a poor man's Ryan Reynolds. He promptly turned away and started projectile vomiting into the bushes below. Pleasant. Really wholesome people Damon was associating with tonight. Deciding it was safer inside, I grabbed a shot from a passing tray, threw it back and returned to the throng of people, eyes watering from the sting of the vodka.

It took a few laps around to see him, and I swear to God the crowd parted at exactly the right time to execute the perfect reveal, just like the movies. He sat lounging on one of the several leather sofas, a different color haired girl on each arm. For a long, long moment I couldn't breathe for the tidal wave of affection the crashed over me, like it had been way longer then it had since I last saw him. If this_ feeling_ is what he'd had to live with and keep inside for the last five years, I don't know how he survived it, he's a damn sight stronger then me.

Like I was being bait hooked in, I moved closer. The sight of his shirt open and his hair mussed with girls crawling over him was so cliche I would had found it humorous if it didn't sting so deep. Our eyes connected and for one small, heady second I thought he looked happy, _relieved _to see me. And then his face hardened into the familiar mask that'd never before been directed my way, not like this.

"Ms. Gilbert, this is a surprise." The smirk plastered across his lips that was usually such a panty dampener instead made me nauseous, behind it I could only see the poison and pain lingering. "What could you _possibly_ be doing in sunny California?"

Eyeballing the females that were now curiously watching our interaction, I shifted my feet uncomfortably and babbled "Do you have time to talk?"

He chuckled maliciously at how pedestrian my question was. "Oh come on, we only screwed once, don't tell me you're knocked up."

"_Excuse me?"_ My hand found it's way to my neck, fiddling nervously at the necklace resting there. The girls all laughed like hyenas and I quickly became aware that I was still staring wide-eyed in shock at his cutting remark. I wasn't expecting welcoming arms but this was _harsh_. Swiftly feeling about an inch tall in clothes I had been traveling in for hours and my hair unbrushed and wild, I held onto the fact that If I showed a sign of weakness now, he'd pounce. I forced my face into faux understanding "Oh _I get it_, you're trying to act all big and bad at your overgrown high-school keg party. Bravo Salvatore, bravo. Hedonism at it's finest."

Without a change of expression he jumped up, his shirt falling to expose even more chiseled chest that I made a point to avert my eyes from. "Excuse me ladies, this won't take long." He smiled charmingly behind him and took my hand before I could protest, pulling me into an empty hallway that I had no idea how he kept free of guests. He stopped once we got inside where we were finally able to clearly hear each other and leant casually against a beige colored wall with his arms crossed.

"You know you have people doing lines of coke in your bathroom?" I loftily informed, my lip curling into a sneer as I copied his stance on the wall opposite him. "Do you even know anybody that's here in your own house?"

Looking inordinately proud of himself, he popped out a "Nope." He apparently felt the urge to elaborate "It's just been one non-stop party since I arrived. Best decision ever."

"Alright Hunter S. Thompson, you must be so proud of yourself." Shivering slightly and trying to avoid any real conversation, I asked "Is Ric here too? This whole thing has him written all over it."

Damon shrugged apathetically "He came out for a while, got over the scene and went home."

Warning bells went off in my head, he was covering something "Ric left you just like that?"

"He got sick of taking care of me I guess, had to take me to get my stomach pumped a few times. Guy couldn't handle the speed out here, not my fault."

My heart sunk, Damon was _not _okay not matter what impression he was trying to give. He also wasn't having the fun he wanted everyone to believe. "You had to get your stomach pumped?". Bullshit Alaric would just leave Damon like that, not unless his hand was forced.

He tensed imperceptibly as he detected the softening of my tone "Once or twice. No big deal, all part of the package in L.A." Inspecting his fingernails disinterestedly, he questioned "Well it's been a blast talking to you and all but was there something you wanted? "

As was typical, I had no idea how to start with the correct words, on top of the fact that this was neither the right time or place to have _any_ type of conversation, he absolutely was not in the right type of mood where he would listen to a thing I had to say. "The way things ended, that wasn't right. I just thought...I don't know. There's things that need to be said, cleared up."

"Yeah, I'm not doing the discussing our feelings bit. We're way past that." He launched himself off the wall with his back foot and shot one last smarmy grin my way "Let's do this again sometime."

I watched his back growing smaller down the hallway and just couldn't accept that this was the moment that I lose Damon Salvatore. And while I know I left it late; far, far too late, I had to give this everything i'd been too scared to give before. "It was when you took me to Paris just because you knew i'd been learning French. I know the supposed new clients over there was a ruse Damon." I was working out the monologue in my head as I spoke, realizing my words were completely true as they flew out of my mouth, confessing things I didn't even consciously know myself before. And even though I hadn't meant to do this tonight, it was my last chance.

He kept walking away, a quick hand thrown up in dismissal.

Growing even more desperate, because I was positive that if he went out of that door now it was over, I shouted "For you it was when I gave you that stupid bottle of Jack. For me it was when you took me to Paris that I fell in love with you, I just didn't know it at the time."

He froze stock still and didn't make a move to turn.

"I love you Damon, I'm in love with you."

The calm, cavalier attitude he'd been playing all night slipped and he spun around, storming back towards me and not stopping until he had me backed up against the wall. One arm slammed past my right shoulder and he leant in close so his breath teased my ear "Don't you fucking dare Elena. Don't you even think about doing this now."

I held my own, going with an instinct to not run away for once and raised my steely eyes to meet his suddenly turbulent ones that were glaring down on me. "Why not? It's the truth."

"Because you're Hurricane Gilbert, wrecking me and everything in your path when it takes your fancy. I don't want to hear those words from you, I had to go clear across the country to try and shake you."

The unexplainable look in his eyes, so full of emotions, added a hairline crack in my heart knowing all this was my fault. Still, I wasn't the only bad guy in the equation. "You're not exactly the innocent party in this either Damon. You're so certain that people should forgive you for your mistakes but God forbid if someone asks for forgiveness from you."

"What do you want me to say? Tell me and I'll say it." While some of the rage visually drained from him, he exhaled "Just please let me go."

"We have so much to fix and explain to each other." I held my breath "Won't you give us a fighting chance?"

Looking defeated and unbelieving at the same time, he shook his head ruefully "I can't believe _you _are asking me that. All I ever asked you for was a chance. I'm done, you asked me to leave so I left."

"No." I calmly responded, refusing to buy what he was selling.

Rolling his eyes and dragging his hands through the sides of his hair, he acerbically challenged "No what? No, you don't want your eggs over-easy? No, you don't want any more seasons of Jersey Shore? Be more specific Elena."

"No, you don't just spend five years being in love someone and then get over it like that. I'm scared too but I'm done ru-"

Seemingly using the last of his bite he had left, he cut me off and mocked "Oh now you're the resident expert on love because for all of five minutes you've mistakingly convinced yourself you're in love with me." He swallowed heavily after uttering the last five words, his throat bobbing painfully.

"Fine, look me in the eyes then." I used the crook of my finger under his chin to raise his eye-line to mine. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me, that you don't want this_ thing_ between us anymore."

Forcefully pulling his chin away from my hand, he looked down and didn't meet my eyes. "Don't" He wrung out, his body appearing to sag.

I inwardly took a huge gasp of relief. Not until now was I sure i'd been on the right path pushing it, now there was no lack of conviction in my mind that I'd made the right decision believing in him, in us. "You can't do it can you?" I gently observed. My thumb came up to rest on his cheekbone and I allowed myself to relish the feel of his skin beneath mine, he didn't lean into it, but he didn't throw me off either. "I'll fight for you Damon, I didn't before but I will now. So do your worst, you won't change my mind."

Taking one last look at the debauchery through the crack in the door, I brought my hand down and nodded firmly "I'll see you back in New York then." This time it was his eyes following my back down the hall, and I knew without a doubt I had one hell of a fight ahead of me.

* * *

**A/N-** Wow, beyond happy to be back! So, so sorry about the wait but I had the vacation and then a week of being sick, but I hope this wasn't too disappointing to anyone. Hope you're all doing well and now I have some TVD episodes to catch up on calling out my name ;) xo


	13. Chapter 13

**_I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her_.- Notting Hill**

* * *

The first battle came in the form of Vicki Donovan, a night waitress from the local Hooters. And while I wish it was a joke with a hysterical punchline, it unfortunately wasn't. My initial indication of Damon being back in New York were the non-stop sightings of him everywhere with his little wing serving, beer slinging new sidekick.

I'd expected it, didn't mean it tasted any less bitter.

In the tangled chess game we had found ourself playing, I lived in apprehension of his next move and it seemed he had finally achieved checkmate when I received a text message asking me to dinner at his house Tuesday night. Any subsequent inquires I sent his way after the initial invitation went ignored but I accepted it without hesitation anyway, if he was offering a hall pass I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"So you're just going to go in blind without any idea what he's planning?" Caroline asked disbelievingly, sprawled out on her stomach on my bed and flipping through the latest issue of Italian Vogue. "I mean from what you told me you weren't exactly flavor of the month when you left L.A."

Concentrating on the mirror in front of me, I stood in lingerie with my hair done up in rollers as I alternated between holding a deep purple dress up to my chest and then a baby pink strapless one. "That's the plan" I sighed making my decision and haphazardly throwing the pink dress onto the chair at my vanity table. "I don't really have a choice, he's not giving me much to go on."

Caroline pushed herself up onto her elbows, dropped the magazine onto the floor and pursed her lips, her reflection in the mirror lecturing me "I'm just saying don't go there expecting roses and pretty words."

"Oh don't worry, I'm fully anticipating the Damon special, no one does revenge like a Salvatore." And it was true, I was under no delusions that I would be walking into anything but a combat zone tonight. However, i'd be damned if I let the opportunity slip past.

"What about his latest piece of white trash ass?" Caroline questioned disdainfully as I stepped feet first into my dress, studying me as if I was about to crumble to pieces on the floor. "How are you doing with _that_ latest development?"

I repressed my eye-roll knowing she was just implementing the age old best friend mantra of pulling the competition to pieces. "I'm dealing. And she's not white trash just because she comes from a southern one-horse town Care." Tipping my head upside down to remove my rollers, I gently reminded "_We _came from podunk towns, Nowhere, USA."

Caroline huffed, staunchly sticking to the first impression she got from the information the tabloids had leaked "Whatever, I don't like her."

I had to hand it to my forever optimistic best friend, she took the news of my newly discovered love of one Damon Salvatore without the bat of an eyelid. Said she'd known I'd been a goner since she found me in the kitchen cleaning my hands bloody after I'd asked him to leave. Even with their oil and water relationship she still promised she'd support me whatever I decided. The heart wants what it wants and all that she'd mused dreamily. I was frankly surprised she hadn't drawn up battle plans for our best plan of attack yet.

"Looking good E" Caroline whistled as I slipped into the 5 inch nude stilettos she had insisted I wear. "Salvatore won't know what hit him." She walked up behind me and jostled the basque of my dress down, revealing a few inches more of cleavage. "Now you're perfect."

I sighed and scrunched my nose up but didn't make a move to fix her alterations. Hey, it may not win the war but it was a step in the right direction. I wasn't above using feminine wiles to get a few points.

Caroline eyed me skeptically one more time "Are you sure he's worth all this? I mean did it have to be Damon Salvatore you chose to go all goo-goo eyed about?"

"Yes. Yes he is worth it." I confirmed, a chuckle escaping at the repulsion in her voice. You'd think I'd chosen to fall for the antichrist going by her tone. "Just have some hurdles to jump over first."

"I'll never work you two out" She declared throwing her hands up in the air and helping me out of the door and to the car in the stilts she called shoes.

When I got to dinner it all became crystal clear what Damon's first ploy in the Gilbert-Salvatore cold war was. He'd oh so generously invited me to eat with just Vicki and him, effectively three wheeling me with the invite to my worst nightmare. I'd been well and truly thrown to the wolves. Despite his games I was more than aware that using womanizing as a shield happened to be his party-line and it was going to take a hell of a lot more than rubbing my face in it for me to give up.

After the prerequisite awkward introductions we'd all sat down at the twelve seater mahogany dining table, consuming our tomato gazpacho while I desperately scrabbled for any small talk and Damon pawed Vicki across from me. Hell I'd even relish talking about the weather by now.

"So how do you guys, like, know each other?" Vicki asked, all wide eyed and hair twirling, her hand playing with the collar of Damon's shirt.

Before Damon could spit out the poisoned barb I knew he'd have loved to use, I took the words right out of his mouth "Oh just an old employee. Damon's real nice to the hired help." I could tell by Vicki's vapid nodding she'd been told no different and knew nothing of our history.

The rest of the meal progressed much of the same way, Damon and I exchanging inexplicable looks and cloaked spiteful comments while Vicki remained blissfully ignorant of what was going on under her nose. I'd been prepared to hate her but she wasn't a bad person; a little dim and coarse but sweet all the same. It wasn't fair that she was getting caught up in the chaos that she was surrounded by and suddenly I was exhausted, tired of pretending that every time Damon leaned over to kiss her neck or cop a feel my heart didn't twist into itself.

"So is this what you wanted?" Damon asked maliciously when Vicki had disappeared to the kitchen for some more wine. "Fighting the good fight, feeling like you're paying your penance?"

"I meant what I said when I told you to do your worst" I replied without looking up, scraping my fork through the leftovers of the Baked Alaska on my plate. "But if you _are_ using Vicki just to get at me? Asshole move Damon, asshole move. She's a person not a pawn." Without waiting for a response I stacked up my plate and glass and followed Vicki to the kitchen, being alone with Damon right now wasn't going any place good no matter what i'd previously hoped. Besides, getting the last word in with him around was rare.

"-would tell me wouldn't you? I may not have gone to college but I know UST when I see it. There's something between him and Elena and I'd appreciate knowing if I was wasting my time." Not as oblivious as I assumed then. Vicki's voice floated out through the swinging kitchen door and made me pull up short from entering, hating myself for eavesdropping but needing to hear this out.

I could hear Alberto's uncomfortable cough in response. Of course he was on the receiving end to her questions, something in his face just made you want to spill all your deepest secrets and anyone with half a brain would realize that his long time position in the house meant he knew anything worth knowing about went on.

"He loves her" Alberto's voice rang out sooner than I expected, a kindness in his timbre removing the harshness of what he was saying. "They're each other's world even if they don't understand that yet. And I'm not saying this to hurt you, I'm saying it to save you from some heartache; nobody is going to be to him what Elena is to him. Oh, a few have tried but nobody's replacing that girl."

"Thought as much, there's always something with guys like him" Vicki acknowledged with a sprinkle of cycncism and a world weary laugh. "Thanks for letting me know the score."

Someone up above gave me a reprieve because as she exited she didn't notice me standing behind the door, frozen and a little wrecked by the cook's words. I waited a few minuted to collect myself and then went inside to deposit my plate. "Do you really believe that's true?" I couldn't help the question escaping my lips as I helped Alberto load the dishwasher, not even bothering to pretend I hadn't been listening.

"You heard that hmm?" He deflected, his French accent becoming slightly more pronounced. "I think you already know the answer my dear." Handing me a handful of cutlery, he advised "You kids can rip each other to shreds until the end of time and it won't change how he feels about you. Or how you feel about him for that matter."

With the wisdom of a man who sees and understands everything I couldn't deny he was right. Damon and I would always be in each other's blood one way or another.

"Here" Alberto cautioned, disappearing in the pantry for a moment before reappearing with a paper bag full of things he had baked. "You're too skinny for your own good, I don't know how many times I have to tell you." He pushed it into my arms so I could do nothing _but _take it "And you fix things with Mr. Salvatore soon please, the house needs your laughter again."

Tearfully, I gave him a warm hug not being able to vocalize my thanks for the encouragement he had given and his firm belief that everything could be worked out."Will you send them my apologies? Say I felt unwell or something and had to leave? I don't think I can handle going back in that room again tonight."

Alberto good-naturedly waved me away and I stupidly, naively thought I was home free when I escaped out of the front door and all the way down the concrete steps. But without fail the night had one last surprise in store for me.

"Leaving without saying goodbye?" Damon taunted down from the top step. "Did I scare you off already?"

"You know me better than that Mr. Salvatore" I volleyed back without turning to face him, searching for the car keys in the bottom of my bag and eager to leave. "You'd have to do a damn sight more than invite me to a dinner party to scare me away."

Abruptly I felt him move down the stairs and end a hairbreadth away behind me, his breath dancing on my neck. "Don't think I haven't noticed the way you're dressed Elena. You wanted to tempt me? Mission accomplished." He lightly pulled me around to look at him and caressed his hands up and down my bare arms leaving goosebumps in their wake. "Is this what you want from me?"

My breath stuck in my throat as I absorbed the full power of his suggestive cobalt eyes and the way his hair fell just so over the porcelain skin of his forehead. Good lord, the raw attractiveness of this man could hit you when you least expected it. "What?" I questioned dazed, disliking the fact he had got me so easily off balance and trying to ignore the way he was leaning into my neck.

"I said is this what you want from me?" He whispered into my ear, one of his hands dropping way south of my waist. "Get me back into bed? Fuck me out of your system?"

Like a bracing blast of cold air I was viciously ripped back to reality. I removed my arms from his grip and took a safe step back out of his vortex. "You may want to try and diminish what we have to just being about sex or shock me with crude words, but you know damn well it's not going to work." Seeing his plan wasn't going the way he wanted and that I was hitting closer to home the he liked, Damon's face hardened. "You've spent so long, with all those different girls, thinking all you have to offer is a fuck or your money. You're so much more Damon, and you won't get me to change my mind about that." I ducked my head to make sure I had his attention "Go back inside, Vicki is waiting for you." Leaving him speechless I finally located my keys and was able to drive home to what probably would be a very restless night.

If the mountain will not come to Mohammed, Mohammed will go to the mountain. Two days later the next strategy I took was going straight to the source, the best friend. Alaric had always been my partner in crime in all matters Damon Salvatore, he may have not been happy to see me the last time we met but this time he'd have to suck it up.

"Mr. Saltzman" I greeted coquettishly finding him in the second dive bar I had tried. Hopping onto a scarred wooden stool, I pulled out a box of store-brought brownies thick with frosting and slid them along the bar to come to rest in front of him. "And there'll be an endless supply of drinks in it for you if you can let go of a little of that Elena hate and talk to me."

Alaric considered me weightily out of the corner of his eye and glanced down into the last dregs of the bourbon in his glass "I could be swayed to have a conversation if the alcohol is flowing I guess." He took a brownie out of the plastic case and looked at me face on for the first time since I'd arrived "Safeway brand?"

"Of course, I'm not a heathen."

Letting out a reluctant snort while I gave our orders to the bartender, he casually stated "I don't hate you for the record. Yeah, I took sides but you know i've always like you."

"Except when I leave you to deal with your best friend during a bender that was partly caused by me."

"Yeah, apart from then" He allowed teasingly, smirking.

"So L.A" I started, going straight to the crux of the matter. "What happened out there? Something's wrong when you two aren't joined at the hip."

Alaric dropped the rest of the brownie he'd been eating and brushed the crumbs off his fingertips looking slightly shocked "You know about L.A? How..?"

I shrugged passively "May have flew out there to chase after him. Didn't work out so well."

"So that's why he's home."

Shaking my head, I wiggled my finger while taking a sip of an Appletini "Oh no, wasn't me he followed."

Facing back to the mirror-backed bar, Alaric raised his eyebrows knowingly and established "Oh it was you alright, it's no coincidence that he came home a few days after your little pilgrimage while I couldn't even get him to leave that fucking house to go to the grocery store." Knocking back the rest of his drink he gritted his teeth and exhaled "I left simply because he told me too. Practically kicked me out, couldn't take the few home truths I was telling him while he was drinking himself into an early grave."

"Ah, home truths from Ric, they're always brutally honest."

"You know Damon has left a trail of broken hearts in his rear view window but you're the only one who's truly broken his. Sure Katherine fractured it, but you-" He pointed his index finger towards me.

Guilt prickling up my spine, I interrupted "I thought these were home truths for Damon, not me."

"What I was getting to is that whatever shit you've pulled on each other he's accountable for himself only, and it's not your responsibility when he goes off the deep end. I told him he can't blame you for his actions, i.e the drinking like he's the next Tommy Lee, thats on him."

"He'll realize you're right soon enough and come back." I promised, understanding Alaric was sorely missing his buddy. "He needs you like you need him.

The leather jacket he was wearing tightened as he shrugged "Maybe." He held up two fingers to the bartender to signal for a refill "What about you? What have you been up to besides chasing that idiot around the Continental US."

With the ridiculous salary Damon used to pay me I had a large of money saved up, a comfort I was taking advantage of while I worked on my new book. Although it was progressing slowly, I still was prouder of it then anything i'd written before and was keeping it close to the chest. "A little of this, a little of that" I replied nonchalantly.

"Intriguing" Alaric smirked. "So what is it that you felt you had to get me all liquored up to ask?"

The one person that knew Damon as well as I did was sitting right next to me so his answer to the question would matter "Me not giving up on Damon; think it'll work?"

"Yeah. Yeah it just might. He needs someone to not let him go for once."

Satisfied with my answers and that Ric would get home safely I finally felt like i'd figured out another piece of the puzzle to working this all out.

It was late and I probably should have gone straight home after spending time being Alaric's stand-in drinking buddy but I noticed I still had the spare keys to the dance studio and I grabbed the chance for a release to some of the strain that had been amplifying .

The building was dark and deserted when I let myself in, exactly how I wanted it. Pulling my hair up into a tight bun, I turned on just one overhead light and hit play on the music, letting myself get lost. It was nearing the forty minute mark when I dropped down from en pointe and turned around to catch sigh of a shadowed figure in the doorway.

"Jesus H. Christ Damon, you almost gave me a heart attack." I convulsed, hand clutching my chest. "How long have you been there and what the hell are you doing?"

He strode into better lighting, the circles under his eyes telling me he had been sleeping about as well as I had been, read: barely. Avoiding my question, he commented "You didn't say you were dancing again."

"Considering we haven't really been on speaking terms..." I pointed out, switching the speakers off. "I think it's safe to say there's a lot that's changed recently that we haven't told each other about. How did you even find me?"

Looking vaguely sheepish, he twisted his mouth "Alaric called muttering something about you coming to see him. I was forced to get Barbie to give me ideas on where you might be if you weren't at home so I could come to tell you to lay off."

"And you had to be a creeper in the dark to tell me that?"

"I've never really seen you dance before" Damon explained, looking like he was stepping out of his comfort zone. "It was pretty spectacular to witness."

Something was different about Damon tonight, sure his walls were still up, but there was a change behind his eyes and after he spoke the first kind words to me in what seemed like forever I was going to take the opportunity to try and wedge the door open further. "So are you going to tell me what you came here to say? That I need to leave you and your friends alone?"

He shot a warning glance my way and shook his head "Dammit Elena, how do you that? You always manage to derail my best laid plans."

I took a moment to enjoy the way he pulled my name out like taffy, a tendency of his that had always secretly made my stomach flop. "Have a seat?" I offered looking up at him as I lowered myself down onto the floor. Trying to keep a smile at bay when he hesitantly joined me, I bit my lip and concentrated on the place our knees touched as we sat crossed legged on the varnished ground. "I've always thought you looked like a knock-off Fonzie in that jacket by the way" I confessed to break the silence.

"Ayyyy" He lazily stuck up his thumbs, half heartedly imitated the iconic Happy Day's catchphrase and we shared our first genuine laugh in a long time. "So the money you're insisting on paying me back that I used for John? You're determined about still doing that?"

"Yes" I affirmed firmly, trying not to cringe at the reference to what caused the powder keg to blow in the first place.

"Okay, alright." Damon sighed resignedly and rolled his eyes up to the ceiling.

That right there, Damon accepting my money, was a huge step in the right direction. It implied he at least somewhat understood why he messed up and why it was important I dealt with the debt.

"The other night was a lousy deal." He broke into my thoughts with an abrupt remark . "I'm halfway sorry."

Throwing my head back, I laughed, reveling in the actual civil conversation we were having. "Well then I halfway forgive you." I could feel him watching me as my mirth turned to giggles, his mouth fighting a reluctant grin. "I knew what I was taking on when I went to L.A, Damon. It's kind of your M.O."

"I was pushing you" Damon admitted cautiously, like he still wasn't quite sure he wanted to spill what he was saying. "No one has ever fought for me Elena and I'm constantly waiting for you to run."

Wondering what possessed him to suddenly give me a piece of him like that, his words cut like a knife and all I wanted in that moment was for him to let me love him. "I'm not running Damon."

"You have before" He reminded me honestly, his tone quieter. "I'm not there yet Elena, we fucked each other up pretty bad and I don't see how we can-." His voice came out haltingly, like he was hating himself for being weak enough to ask "But just don't give up yet. Please."

As much as I wanted to reach out and touch him for reassurance I knew he wasn't ready for that, I settled on a smile and teased "Loving you is a tough job, you know that?"

Damon tuned and looked at me, searching for something in my eyes before turning back around with a faint smirk on his lips "Yeah, well, loving you is no walk in the park either."

And that was always going to be us in a nutshell, it would rarely be easy and each victory would be hard won. Honestly, I wouldn't want it any other way, everything meant so much more when it had to be worked for. So like the shaky first steps of an infant, our relationship was finally going the right way.

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**A/N**-Eeesh 4x04 was rough huh? Oh well, I'm still hopeful for this season! Hope you all enjoyed the update x


	14. Chapter 14

**_Love is too weak a word for what I feel_ -Annie Hall**

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Elena Gilbert was my constant. The thorn in my side. Star of my every erotic fantasy. Pain in my ass. My fucking kindred spirit. And I burned for her just like the Cash song. No matter what I did, no matter _who_ I did, that torch I carried for her refused to be doused.

Sure I tried to battle it at the beginning, back when she was a just a slip of a thing almost drowning in the social politics and turmoil of New York. Really she'd had me between a rock and a hard place ever since she spilled her wine and confessed to not knowing who the hell I was. Her innocence was fresh, beguiling, and I found myself wanting to protect her, stop it from being corrupted like life so often tends to do, promising myself that I wouldn't be the one to screw her up.

We all saw how well that turned out.

And of course after Katherine there wasn't meant to be anyone else, she was supposed to have been my one shot and that was blown to hell when I caught her fucking my brother. But then along came Elena and one day I turned around and finally grasped that I'd loved the _idea_ of Katherine; what I wanted her to be molded into, but I loved _all_ of Elena. Especially the bad parts because they were so intrinsically her. Lke the thin thread of selfishness she had running through her or the stubbornness that I more often than not found myself on the losing side of. Those facets of her were mine. Mine and mine alone to remember when she finally came to her senses and left me behnd in the dust.

I'd never been so petrified as the day I knew i'd fallen and fallen hard for Elena Gilbert.

Apart from scattered drunken fantasies, I'd never really let myself consider the fact I'd have her in any way, shape or form. I had fully expected to be the eternal bachelor, screwing around with Victoria Secret models and becoming a workaholic until I did everyone a favor and shuffled off this mortal coil. She'd go marry some elementary school teacher, they'd move to the suburbs and maybe if I got extra lucky she'd let me be Uncle Damon to her 2.5 kids.

Then the exasperating, infuriating _girl _pulled out her trump card and said she loved me. I told myself not to listen, not to believe a word of it. That this was just going to turn out like it did before, with me waiting for her to throw me a bone and when she did I'd fuck it up somehow. Us going around and around in an endless cycle.

Except I saw her eyes that night, she was serious, and the little voice in my head niggled it's way in that maybe, just maybe she did know me and could love _my_ bad parts too. I kept pushing the thought away because it had the potential to destroy completely where it had only decimated before. All I could really be sure of was that I wasn't getting Miss. Gilbert out from under my skin anytime soon.

So now I was only left with her dog-eared copies of orange Penguin Classics littered all over my house, most of them with grey water-ring stains on the covers from the drinks she would always leave half empty and forget to finish. I had those and the half-baked promise of being fought for.

A week after I saw Elena at the dance studio I was working at the office, trying to think about anything other than her name, when an UFO came soaring past my right ear. I spun around on my desk chair just in time to catch a flash of heel and the red sole of a shoe land on the carpet next to me. Giving me barely a second to duck it's mate followed it's trajectory and missed my head by an inch. "What the hell?" I sputtered, dumbly trying to deduce why I was currently under attack by a pair of Louboutins.

"That" Elena panted, doubled over with one hand bracing herself on the doorframe. "That's for still not taking my name off the ban list to the building." She righted herself and I had to physically stop myself from making the catch in my breath audible. Wisps of hair had escaped her braid and stuck to the sides of her forehead, her cheeks were flushed a high pink, her eyes burned and still no other girl could hope to touch her. "I had to sneak into the fire exit and climb an endless flight of stairs. There's a possibility my legs may fall off."

"Well not exactly endless then were they? You got here eventually." I unproductively pointed out to distract myself from scanning up her legs, which definitely did not look they were on the brink of detaching themselves. Catching the glare she was already sending my way heat up by about a thousand degrees more, I coughed and aimlessly shuffled some papers just in case she got the urge to catapult some more objects at me. Surreptitiously moving my glass paperweight out of her reach, I cut a glance up and inquired tonelessly "So what's the reason for the breaking and entering? We have these things called cell phones now. They're actua-"

She scoffed so hard I wondered for a moment if she was suffering from some sort of cough spasm. Moving further inside, hitting the switch to frost the glass walls from prying eyes and closing the door behind her, she began to blindly pick up and put down items. A tendency she had when she was trying to work out a win-Damon-over speech in her head. "Yes, you're right, cells are helpful. When they're actually being answered."

So sue me, I hadn't been picking up her calls. Whatever was on the end of the line was bound to be something I couldn't come back from either way. I couldn't work out if i'd prefer her to let me go or pull me in again. The easiness we had found after I'd watched her dance had disintegrated as soon as we'd left the safety of the building. Although Vicki was long gone (the poor woman deserved better than some broken guy who was in love with someone else) it's all I could do but live in a pit of denial lately. I mean how does this even work, her chasing me? I had no blueprint to go off.

"Well I'm here now, you found me." As always my eyes followed her around the room, drawn in ways beyond my control. "How can I help?."

Suddenly she was behind me, lowering her head down next to mine with a sheet of her chestnut hair falling over my shoulder. The essence of vanilla that had always been her signature scent surrounded us and made my head foggier then it usually was in her presence.

"Or rather how can I help you?" She exhaled into my ear, soft strands of hair tickling my cheek and the tenor of her voice way lower then I'm used to. Biting her lower lip, she continued "I'm at your service."

I closed my eyes, totally disarmed by the full blast of Elena Gilbert's new little seductive routine. The girl is dangerous when she's just walking around in sweats and messy hair, but when she actually tries? She can bring better men than myself to their knees. After a quick deep breath my eyes flew open, I knew exactly what she was doing because i'd done this little schtick to her too many times to count. She was playing dirty using my own tricks against me, all the while preforming them a damn sight better. "Very well done Elena. Almost worrying how good you are at that now."

Shrugging, she smirked, not at all looking embarrassed at being caught out and moved to sit down on the other side of the desk. "I figured if I played on a level you'd understand...". Shaking her head as if to dismiss everything that just happened, she briefly reached into her handbag and drew out a full bottle of Jack, softly placing it down and sliding it across the varnish to me. _Now_ she had the whole unsure look all over face which I was way more equipped to manage. "You must have questions for me, it's the only way we're going to get through this Damon, if we understand each other." Looking sheepish, she nodded to the alcohol "And I guess I was feeling symbolic or something. You told me what that other bottle meant-"

I cut her off because I was painfully aware of the symbolism she was referring to. And because even now I was a pussy and helpless to deny her, I grabbed two shot glasses from the drawer and filled them up with caramel liquid. I supposed this impromptu Q & A she was propositioning was happening whether I wanted it to or not, and to be honest there was a few things I wouldn't mind knowing. "I don't really have a choice do I?"

Ignoring me, she slammed the shot back and pushed the glass across to me for a refill "I'm an open book."

"Why now?" I bit out after taking my own drink, cutting to the only question that was going to matter if answered right. If I accept it or not she told me she_ loved me. _I'd had dreams about her saying it like she did that night in L.A, casual and sure like it was just another fact of life, like she'd being saying it forever. Things like that don't happen to me though, just out of the blue after waiting for it with no end in sight. "What changed?"

"I lost you." She simply responded without needing to ask what I was alluding to. "I realized you were the most important thing in my life. And I'm sorry I couldn't understand that sooner, I was a scared little girl." She drained another shot and I could see that this was going to pan out as a drink for a question. Of course she played it like this, she knew it would be the easiest way to get me to be honest.

I tried to desensitize myself to possibly the best words I had ever heard from her mouth because we had more than just one problem to get through, we had a whole mountain. I could understand her being scared, hell i'd been terrified- am terrified, but she wasn't the only one that threw gasoline on us and lit the match "What about what I did? Say you could forgive me, I can't change Elena. What about the next time I do something hugely moronic and piss you off?"

"I know I haven't always been clear about this Damon, but I don't want you to change. I _want_ you to go and make stupid mistakes and piss me off. I want Damon Salvatore and all that entails, not some pod person." Raising her stare to meet me directly in the eyes, her voice turned to smoldered steel "But when you _do_ pull the stupid shit that you tend to pull, I need you to tell me about it. All I want is honesty and in return I promise it wont make me run."

Honesty. Honesty I could do if I was sure she wouldn't use it to push me away. I was getting nervous now, I was putting the walls up and she was just annihilating them one after the other. Could I go through all this again? Could I survive _us_ again? "So what you're saying is some bullshit like _as long as we're honest, love is enough_? Even though we fight for the sake of fighting and the fallout from our bad choices pretty much cancels out our good ones."

"Love _is_ enough" She declared earnestly, gripping both of my hands tight enough in hers for me to know not to try and remove them. "I don't care anymore. I don't care what other people say. If the way we relate to each other is having balls-to-the-wall screaming matches, so be it, it's us. We're both stubborn, we're going to butt heads at every corner and you're going to try and do stuff to protect me that drives me crazy, but nobody can make me feel alive like you do." She paused to get a handle on the pace of her speaking "It's worth it. You're worth it."

I wasn't, but I wasn't about to risk contradicting her when she had that look in her eye. Did we mean enough to risk the pain of failure again? Were the possible rewards good enough to gamble everything we had? "What's going to make this time different? What's going to stop up from crashing and burning again Elena?" I brittlely asked, finally managing to extract my hands, her slender fingers leaving burns neither of us could physically see. I'd found flesh to flesh contact with Elena acted as a impediment to logical thought.

"You know what? Maybe we will" She shrugged, fatigued, but still the flame danced in her eyes. "I can't see into the future. But what I do know is we've both grown a lot and working together just wasn't good for us. Now we're equals and I can accept that help from you isn't the end of the world. Before, all I wanted to do was to walk away before someone could walk away from me. I'm done walking Damon."

Something in her expression made it impossible to ignore everything positive that had been between us, that could be between us again. After all, it hadn't always been tragic love confessions and pathetically broken hearts. When we were good, we were_ unstoppable, _we were_ fun._

"So it's all on the table Damon. There's no more to discuss, you know everything. Now it's up to you to make the final decision." She reached down next to me to retrieve her shoes and glide them back onto her feet. "If you decide that this is what you want and you can believe that I love you then I'm a phone call away. Just be sure."

Much as I was when she appeared, I was fittingly left speechless as she left as well. I nodded stupidly as an affirmation to convey I understood what she meant.

She took one last glance over her shoulder and sent me a wide smile that made me feel like it was all going to be okay, even if it was only for a second. "Oh and if it's not too much effort, can you call downstairs so I don't get hauled out of the building by security? That'd be a real help." And then she was gone, seemingly taking the world with her.

I grabbed the forgotten bottle of whiskey and after fingering it's neck, took a swig, ignoring the damp shot glasses; especially the one with her lipstick stain on it. Well fuck it all to hell, after everything we'd both done to each other there was nothing to hide behind anymore. I couldn't claim that Elena didn't want this, she'd grown into someone who was certain of her choices. She was in and this time I believed her.

After granting myself a reprieve to live in the land of denial for at least the rest of the day, I was awoken from a vagueley drunken nap by the phone ringing. Keeping a hand over my eyes, I glimpsed the red numbers of the digital clock flashing 9:00pm and flipped open the cell while burrowing my head back into a feather pillow. "This better be good" I grunted.

_"It's Stefan" _My brother intoned unnecessarily, I could i.d his monotone voice anywhere._ "I need you're help, could you just-"_

Surprised to not be getting a lecture from my brother about being passed out at 9 at night, I couldn't give up the opportunity to needle him. "Oh you need _my _help. That is a shocker."

_"Dammit Damon!, this isn't a joke. If you count me in any way as your brother anymore you need to come over. Now. Goodbye"_

Left staring at the handset with the dial tone ringing tonelessly out of it, my mouth opened and closed unattractively. Baby brother hung up on me? And had a hissy fit? This was new. Intrigued, I told myself the only reason I got in the car and drove over was because I had nothing else to do and needed a distraction.

I regretted the decision as soon as I walked inside and saw my poisonous bitch of an ex-fiance sitting primly as a virgin on the rocking chair with her abandoned daughter cooing on her lap. "Katherine" I spat, trying to keep my face as neutral as possible and not give her the satisfaction of seeing me unbalanced by her surprise visit. "I'd be careful holding Lydia near you, she doesn't take well to soul sucking demons."

Stefan entered the living room on hearing my voice, the panic stamped as clear as day across his face and a phone held by his side. He ran a hand through his hair and I decided to forgive him for not giving me a heads up "She's trying to take my daughter Damon. She wants Lydia."

"Our daughter Stefan, our daughter." Katherine purred her correction from the corner, not a hair out of place and looking like she was more fit to walk the runway in her Chanel suit then holding a gurgling baby. "I do so love that you called your brother, I could never decide which Salvatore I preferred."

Ignoring the twisted games she was still trying to pull by pairing us against each other, I directed my statement straight to my younger brother "She's delusional Stefan. She can't just walk away with the child after she abandoned her. She has no rights, she's no mother."

If I didn't know her so well, I would have believed the flash of hurt that crossed her face. "Is that what you think? I may not be able to take her right now but you can be damn sure i'll be going for full custody with the best lawyer money can buy." She turned her full attention on Stefan "Good luck with getting any rights when you can barely afford living expenses and your only job track is being your brother's slave".

I jumped in, still believing she was bluffing "What? Already bored of spending my brother's trust fund all over Rodeo Drive? Surely you don't have much of it left."

"She got married Damon, to one of the richest hotel owners in California." Stefan interrupted, looking like he was a second away from grabbing Lydia and bolting to France. "She'd have endless resources."

Abruptly understanding, I nodded and smirked "Oh I get it, you got hitched and now you want the ready made family. How long will you play happy families this time till he realizes exactly who you are and throws you out? Will you still want her then, when you're alone?"

Katherine stood, her putrid smile unwavering and walked up to me "You're not jealous are you darling?" Preforming the move she knew used to get me to do her bidding whatever the case, she trailed a finger up my chest and glanced up under her eyelashes "I'm excellent at sharing."

I laughed. I laughed because now all I could see was rancid desperation and I finally felt nothing for her, not hate, and certainly not love. "I don't do sloppy seconds." I disclosed in a stage whisper as I took a large step out of her reach.

"Oh that's right, you're fucking your secretary now aren't you?" Katherine responded, cracks of fury beginning to show. "I saw her picture, quite the replacement for me isn't she?"

A long, long time ago I used to see the resemblance between Elena and Katherine. The hair color, the shape of the eyes, the hourglass figure. It took me about five seconds flat to know that Elena was all Elena, and anything I felt for her had nothing to do with residual feelings for my ex. Now I couldn't even pick out the similarity in the appearance if I wanted to. "I guess if you want to look at it that way." I faked agreement. "It's kind of like having steak after years of eating only dollar hamburgers." I didn't bother to tell her that Elena was everything she could never hope to be.

Katherine's eyes narrowed to an almost feline stare "If that's the way you want to be." She slowly walked over and placed Lydia back into the crib, and with no sign of affection you could tell she didn't have a motherly bone in her body. "This was just a courtesy call to inform you of my plans. You can expect the papers tomorrow." Looking at my younger brother who'd she'd always considered the softer touch, she directed gleefully "Lawyer up, daddy."

"I have to disappear, if I go now I have a chance of her not following." Stefan jumped into action as soon as Katherine stalked out of the door, starting to gather blankets and rattles into his arms.

"C'mon, hold on and calm down." I halted his frantic path around the room. "That's not going to do any good, you'd have a kidnapping charge slapped on you so fast it'd make your head spin."

Stefan dropped the objects he was holding and threw his arms up. "So what then? I just let her have the only good thing that's ever happened to me? I let her win after she destroyed us?" He fumed "I have no choice, she's right; I barely can meet expenses. She'd prove her wealth and you know she can spin a sob story with the best of them. She'll have the judge believing she was forced to leave Lydia. What do I do Damon?"

Not too long ago I would have told him that he deserved this, that he had it coming and that I couldn't care less what happened to his brat. Now all I could see was my brother begging for my help just like he did when we were kids and he had broken my mother's best china. My brother had deceived me in the worst possible way, but he'd been young and naive and God knew I understood what it was like to be caught up in Katherine's spell. Stefan had paid enough for what he did and I wasn't about to lose my brother or my niece over that bitch. I'd deny it to my last breath but me and Lydia had bonded ever since the night Elena and I had babysat, sometimes it was like the infant was the only one who could stand me. And Stefan had been there for me in the background when Elena had left. It was time to forgive. Maybe not forget, but forgive.

"Look just hold up on doing anything rash. We can work this out." I palmed my younger brother's shoulder. "I'll help you fight this. We won't let her win." He stood in shock for a moment trying to digest that I was willing to help him and to determine if I was being serious.

We shared a look that exposed everything we couldn't say in words, he knew I wasn't ready to hear a thank-you yet. Exhausted and needing his strength, Stefan gave in and went to bed, leaving me on the couch too on edge to drive home. If I was going to support my brother through this, i'd need the one person who'd always supported me. Spinning my cell in circles on my palm, I came to terms with what I had known deep down all the time.

Of course Elena was worth the risk of opening myself raw again. Always had been, always would be.

_"Hello?_" She picked up, sounding half way between sleep and reality.

"Did you mean it?"

Without hesitation, she replied sounding fully alert this time _"You know I did, otherwise you wouldn't have been calling."_

"Then i'm all in." I inhaled sharply before taking the plunge. "I'm ready."

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**A/N**- Wow, sorry for the delay! School stuff just piled up. I thought it was important this chapter was in Damon's POV so it could show how he came to the revelations he did. We're coming very near to the end, I'm thinking one more chapter and an epilogue. I'll still never be able to thank any of you for all of the support!

And by the way how great was 4x06! I'm super excited for the way the show looks like it's heading. :)


	15. Chapter 15

**_I guarantee that we'll have tough times. I guarantee that sooner or later one, or both of us will want to get out. But I also guarantee that if I dont ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life.. because I know in my heart you're the only one for me.- _Runaway Bride**

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When I'd suggested to Damon to make Stefan an equal partner in Salvatore Corp., it really had just been a throwaway comment i'd made in desperation as a last resort. After hours of brainstorming, it was the only thing that my fried brain could possibly come up with to put Stefan in good standing in front of a judge. Anticipating a firm no, to my surprise Damon had only chewed on the ballpoint pen he was holding and studied me pensively. The next day I was at Alaric's office watching the papers being drawn up and Damon signing over half of his business to brother. There were stipulations and loopholes written in of course, Damon hadn't become a totally new person overnight.

I didn't pretend to understand what had changed in the Salvatore dynamic, but suddenly instead of working against each other, we had all combined forces. Stefan had shown enough promise to prove that he was up for the challenge of partner and it was another weapon in our arsenal against Katherine; who had stuck to her word and immediately sent the court papers for full custody.

Unlike when Caroline and I had one of our spats, Damon had to only commission Alaric as Stefan's lawyer for them to make full amends. They were acting like nothing had ever happened after two manly pats on the back and a case of beer. I decided trying to ever really figure out their relationship would be a rabbit hole best not to go down.

What I hadn't counted on was the complete lack of shock from Alaric when Damon explained to him exactly how he wanted to help Stefan. As soon as Damon let slip the idea of creating a partnership with Stefan had been my suggestion, Alaric nodded in an annoyingly sage way and stated he already knew the only way Damon would have considered the idea would have been if it had come from me. Said as soon as the proposition had come out of Damon's mouth he realized we were back together.

I ignored his self-satisfied smile at his own deductive abilities and rolled my eyes so hard I was honestly surprised they didn't get stuck.

Two weeks later the climatic court date arrived after Katherine and Stefan had failed to come to any truce in mediation; to the surprise of no one. Damon and I sat directly behind his brother and Alaric, all of us emphatically ignoring the piss and vinegar looks being sent our way from Katherine on the opposite side of the room.

"So Damon" Alaric started, pausing scribbling on his yellow legal pad and twisting around on his chair to face us. "Now that Stefan's had a _slight_ promotion and Elena's doing her writing, you'll be needing a replacement PA, won't you?"

In better spirits then he had been in weeks due to the strong case that had been built for him, Stefan also turned around to join in the conversation and grinned. "Yeah, preferably try not to fall in love with this one if you can help it brother."

I snickered at the benign joke, grateful for any buoyancy to break the high stress atmosphere of the room. "Well, if he has any idea what's good for him he won't." I countered teasingly, looking sideways at Damon and expecting him to add some facetious observation with a smirk on his face.

"Shut the fuck up, Stefan" Damon bit out, not a trace of the humor in his tone that I assumed i'd hear.

Ceasing any further conversation or awkward retorts the court was thankfully called to order and the two men in front were forced to turn back around. Distracted by Damon's peculiar mood, I sent a questioning look his way. When he deliberately refused to meet my eyes, I slipped a hand into his and asked lightly "Hey, what do you say after this case is won, me and you go someplace nice and have some time to ourselves?"

"Why don't we just focus on this right now." He suggested brittlely polite, gently removing his hand from under mine. "Besides, I should probably get some of the backlog at worked cleared tonight. Maybe we can see about tomorrow." He turned purposely away, making it clear he was done talking.

Of course it was _maybe tommorow_. It had been _maybe tomorrow_ since he had called me to tell me he was "all in". At first I'd blamed it on the majority of our attentions being funneled into Stefan's case. But I knew for a fact he had no uncompleted work left now because he had been spending every night avoiding me and ensconced away in his office.

I sighed, the hurt immediately springing up in my stomach and the smell of disinfectant of the room abruptly becoming too strong to bear. "I need some air. I'll just be outside" I announced quietly, slipping past him and out of the exit before anyone could stop me. Sitting on the uncomfortable wooden bench in the hallway, I bit my fingernails into my palms and tilted my head back, despising that a few traitorous tears still managed to escape.

See, the problem was, on paper we were together; in reality I just didn't know anymore. Damon hadn't been rude, or anything like he usually was when he was mad or hurt. Oh no, quite the opposite. He had been unnervingly polite and civilized. It would have been fine if that wasn't the complete opposite of who he was. Plus, throw in the fact he barely could stand to be in a room with me alone for more than ten minutes. The few times i'd cornered him and tried to talk about a deeper topic then the weather, he'd clammed up and managed to circumvent to another subject. I just couldn't seem to break through anymore. Naively thinking we were over the worst after he called and said that he was ready, now I couldn't help but wonder if I had dreamed the whole conversation up.

I caught sight of my watch and realized I had been brooding outside for way longer then I'd intended. Quickly visiting the bathroom, I wiped away the tracks of mascara and compelled myself to solely think about the more important subject at hand; Lydia's fate. Before I could re-enter the courtroom, I was propelled backwards from the entrance by a very jubilant Stefan and co walking out of the doors.

"Where were you, Elena?" Stefan asked, all shadows erased from under his eyes and a wide smile on his lips. "You missed Alaric in his prime. We absolutely obliterated them."

"You won?!" I replied spiritedly, barely letting myself believe it had gone this easy and quick.

Alaric interceded, appearing more satisfied and cocky then i'd seen in awhile "We hit it out of the park. It would have dragged on a lot longer if I hadn't managed to unearth some very interesting tidbits about Katherine's past that she'd neglected to alert her lawyer to. Add that to the previous abandonment and Stefan's new elevated status and we were golden."

"Oh Stefan, that's great" I congratulated, embracing him. "I'm so happy for you."

"Full custody" Stefan informed exultantly. He sobered for a second. "But I told Katherine, if she wanted to make the effort and move back here for her daughter, I wouldn't stop her from having visiting rights. It's Lydia's mother, and if she wants to really get to know her child then she'll have to prove herself."

Surprised at Stefan's generosity, I glanced at Damon waiting to hear his account of what had just gone down inside. Barring whatever was going on between us, he'd obviously formed some link with his niece and I expected him to be exultant. Before I had a chance to open my mouth, Katherine emerged from the same door, looking like she was ready to rip someone's head off.

"Bravo" Katherine asserted, spinning on one stiletto and facing our small group with a dangerous smile. She slow clapped "The Scooby gang must be so proud of themselves." Glaring at Stefan and Damon, she poised to deliver the fatal blow "Oh, the poor pathetic Salvatore brothers that couldn't deserve each other more. When you sleep at night, just remember I've already used anything worthwhile in either of you up."

A flash of white hot rage bubbled under my temple at the fact that this woman was still trying to destroy what she had already demolished years ago. I stepped forward to say something, anything that would wipe the look from her face. Sensing what I was planning, Damon imperceptibly moved next to me, shielding my view and putting an arm around my shoulders.

The action drew Katherine's bloodhound like senses towards where I was standing. "Oh yes," she supplied spitefully. "The replacement me. How much _did he_ pay you to get you to sleep with him?"

"Katherine" Damon addressed ruthlessly, his eyes flashing. "If you ever speak to Elena like that again, you'll have much bigger problems then a custody case on your hands."

Rather then discourage her, this seemed to make Katherine even more joyful "Ever the white knight Damon." She placed a dramatic hand on her heart "Oh I know, _I know_. She's your raison d'être, she's your heart, your world. All the the things you whispered into my ear in bed, and now you're just recycling them."

"Maybe he did feel that way about you once upon a time, Katherine" I butted in, no longer feeling like being muzzled. "But unfortunately you screwed that all to hell and luckily for me, that's all mine now." Sneering, Katherine waved her hand, bored with the altercation and walked away. Hopefully out of our lives forever.

After we all took a moment to breathe, Damon slapped his brother's back once and made his excuses to leave. Promising me to call later, his hand slipped away from my shoulders and I was forced to face the fact that what I'd told Katherine may have been a lie.

Perhaps he wasn't mine at all.

That night, after hanging around my phone like a lovesick teenager waiting for their date to call, I decided enough was enough. I was sick of eating ice cream on the sofa in my pajamas, watching the Bravo channel non-stop. He either wanted to be with me or he didn't. I took a chance and bypassed the office going straight to his house, knowing I'd made the correct choice when I pulled up and all the lights were glaring from behind his windows.

"Damon" I acknowledged dispassionately as he opened the door, the TV blaring loudly from somewhere behind him. "Looks like you finished your work quicker then you expected."

He ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it up "Yeah, yeah I guess I did."

Waiting to see if he was going to elaborate, I rolled my eyes "Can I come in?'

Eyes staying fixated over my shoulder, he queried "Don't you want to see Caroline or someone tonight?" Not really having much of a choice after I only responded with a glare, he sighed, opening the door wider and stepped back to let me in. I followed him into the living room promising myself that this would all be resolved tonight one way or the other. I wasn't sure what else I could give him of me, not if he didn't want it anymore.

We perched on the opposing antique carved sofas. "So the new book" he inquired cordially, his hands clasped tightly in his lap. "How's that going?"

"I don't want to talk about the book, Damon" I warned, indignant. "I'm sick of talking about the book. I'm sick of talking about the weather. And I'm sick of talking about if the Giants will make the playoffs."

"What would you like to talk about, Elena?" He asked affably, as if I just hadn't been blatantly rude to his face. Motioning to the DVD player, he suggested "Do you want to watch a movie?"

Disbelievingly, I leant forward and waved a hand in front of his eyes. "Hello? Is Damon Salvatore in there? I'd really like him back sometime instead of this Stepford version."

"Elena, maybe we should do this tomorrow" Damon propositioned, finally allowing a little exhaustion enter his features.

It was then I snapped and did something I wasn't necessarily proud of. But desperate times called for desperate measures. Rising from the sofa, I picked up the china vase that sat on the end table, brought it up high over my head and let it fall from my hands, smashing onto the floor. "C'mon Damon, this must _really_ be annoying you. Get angry at me or just do _something_."

A glimmer flashed behind his eyes giving me hope before it was gone again. "Stop it, you're being a child."

Yes, yes I was, but at least I was getting somewhere. 'I'll stop when you start talking to me." I assured, fingering the rim of the decorative plate displayed on the bookshelf.

"Oh we've talked, Elena. We've talked, and talked and talked until we're blue in the face."

My hands fisted into balls and my voice rose several octaves "But you never say anything! I'm trying to reach you, to get you to tell me what the hell is going on here." I picked up the plate and flung it down, relishing in the sound it made as it broke "I'm not going to disappear if you yell at me, Damon. If I do something you don't like, you can tell me. Stop treating me like glass." Frustration reaching breaking point, I shouted "_I'M NOT GOING TO SHATTER IF YOU TELL THE TRUTH_."

_"BUT THAT'S THE THING; YOU WILL! I'M SCARED, ELENA_" Damon screamed back, standing up and pointing his forefinger, finally giving me what I wanted. _"I'M FUCKING PETRIFIED TO MAKE A MOVE AND YOU'LL BE GONE AGAIN."_ He took a deep breath and lowered his voice "I didn't _just_ miss you when you left, It was physically painful to be without you."

I fell back down onto the sofa, my heart sinking. His scars went far deeper then I'd ever comprehended, I was sure we'd already bested these fears when I'd visited his office. "I don't know what to do anymore to prove myself to you. We can't survive if we continue on this path." I admitted helplessly, all fight gone. "You called me and said you wanted this, that you believed me. It will never work if that was a lie."

Sitting down next to me, closer then he'd been in weeks, I let some hope enter. "Shit,_ I do_ believe you, I do." He ground the heels of his hands into his eyes "But the last time we got genuinely emotionally close, you left. So, yeah, I guess I'm having a problem with that leap right now. And I want us to work _so much, _but I don't know how to let go of everything."

"Like this" I instructed, moving to straddle his lap and steadied myself with my hands on his shoulders. "It's that simple." Pulling my palms up from his arms, I cradled his face and kissed him softly and slowly. Pulling away, I pledged "We just have to take it one step at a time, together."

"I _love_ you" He related, his fingers tightening around my wrists. "You know i'll do whatever it takes."

Searching his eyes, I nodded "I love you too, Damon." I could almost pinpoint the moemt it finally hit him I was telling the truth as he marinated in the words. Suddenly, _my_ Damon was back and I don't think I could ever recall a time i'd seen him look so free and deeply happy. He radiated, pure, unadulterated ectasy and it ricocheted all around us.

As if time up until now had been in slow motion, all at once in a hurricane of movement we were undressing each other, his lips on every newly exposed part of my skin. With no barriers between us as I moved above him, I understood this time was everything and nothing like that first coupling we had on that doomed night. We mutually met our peaks and I slumped against his chest, trying to catch my breath while he guided us down to lay on the sofa. The last thing I remembered before falling asleep was him covering us with the throw blanket, running his fingers through my tangled hair and a sheer sense of relief.

The sun streaming through the open curtains woke me early and I tentatively cracked one eye open, scared that I would find Damon reverted back to how he was before last night.

"Hi" He greeted, pecking my lips quickly with a cocky smirk in place, allaying all my previous fears.

"Hi" I returned, slightly cringing as I took in the sight of the broken china all over the floor and our clothes thrown around us. Burrowing my head under his arm, I tried to fall back asleep, knowing Damon wouldn't allow it.

"I'm lucky you didn't get to the good dinner set." Damon observed wryly, correctly guessing what I was ashamed of. "But as a plus, we have one less room to cross off the list. I'm thinking the kitchen pantry next? On Alberto's day off, of course. Don't want to give the poor guy a heart attack."

Lightly slapping his arm, I laughed and wiggled down until the blanket was covering my face "Don't be crude."

Ignoring my squealing protests, he wrapped his arms around me and yanked me up, throwing me over his shoulder and taking me upstairs. "Now that's where you should always be" he ordered, bouncing me down onto his California king. "You're not allowed to move."

As he climbed beneath the Egyptian cotton sheets next to me, my cell rang through the air, leading to a bitter sense of nostalgia. _Mom_ flashed across the screen and I couldn't stop the smile at the irony. "It's my mother" I informed dryly.

"Of course it is," Damon replied, shaking his head and drawing me into his arms against his chest. "It's tradition."

"What bombshell do you think she'll drop this time?" I teased, realizing it was a testament to where we had progressed in our relationship that I could joke about what had broken us the first time. The memory was nothing to us now, and it'd be treated as such. "Did you hire a few hit men? Buy me the great state of New York?" He rolled his eyes, and dug his fingers into my side, tickling me as I answered the call.

Trying to keep the giggling out of my voice, I spoke carefully "Hey Mom."

_"Elena, you sound breathless. Are you at the gym?"_

Glancing at Damon briefly, I smiled slyly. "No, actually I'm not. I'm in bed." Taking a breath, I elaborated "With Damon. I'm in bed with Damon." Damon's hands halted their exploration, and I could see his forehead furrowing out of the the corner of my eye.

_"Well that's not particularly the way I would have preferred to find out" S_he enlightened sardonically, my decidedly conventional mother startling me with her nonchalance. "_But it's about time."_

Huh, that was a different response from the one i'd been anticipating. "You knew? I mean, I know you thought you had an inkling of Damon's feelings for me when we visited. But all you said was one of us was going to get hurt."

"_Sweetheart, I was talking about you. You've always been the same since you were a toddler. You just prefer to live in denial until circumstances force you to face things."_

_"_Oh, by all means mom, don't hold back." I scoffed, hoping Damon wasn't overhearing the other end of the conversation. It'd make his week, hell his year, to know my mother had a clue way before I did. They would probably start a "Let's Psychoanalyze Elena" club.

_"All I meant was that it was glaringly obvious you were delaying the inevitable. I mean, Elena, you wouldn't stop talking about him and then when he showed up with Alaric you had a perma grin on your face for the rest of the trip. But your father insisted I had to stay out of this one and let you figure it by yourself."_

I shook my head, reluctantly smiling and conceding that she was right. "Okay mom, you win. I'll call you back later tonight."

"_Alright honey, tell Mr. Salvatore I say hi and that I have some recipes he may be interested in_."

I rolled my eyes at the normalcy "Will do, talk to you soon." Hanging up, I innocently turned to face Damon's questioning glare and raised eyebrows. "What?"

He moved onto his side, supporting his head on his fisted hand. "Oh nothing, nothing at all. That's absolutely the way you should have told Miranda about us." Ghosting a finger along my jawline, he embellished "I'm sure that's what every mother yearns to hear; that her daughter is in bed with the big bad wolf."

Now that there was nothing stopping me from kissing him or touching him whenever I pleased, I had to make a conscious effort to pay attention to what he was saying. Removing his hand from my cheek, I intertwined our fingers "Oh please, you can do no wrong in my parent's eyes." I beamed, wanting to push his buttons "They're probably convinced _I'm_ the one corrupting you."

"Corrupting me huh?" Damon questioned, eyes flashing coyly. "I'd like to watch you try." He ran a hand up my stomach, frowning when he caught sight of my bare wrist. "Where's your bracelet?"

Perplexed, I glanced down, taking a second to realize what he was referring to. "I just never put it back on after everything." I traced the faint tan line that still resided where his mother's jewelry used to rest "I wasn't sure you would want me to." Remembering the question I'd been wanting to ask for a while, but kept forgetting in lieu of more important events, I asked uncertainly "Why _did_ you send it back after I left it on your desk? It wasn't like I was your favorite person at that point of time."

Damon stared at me like I was lacking a significant amount of brain cells. "Because I gave it to you? It was yours. It would have never been anyone _but_ yours again. And the inscription still held true, you had changed me forever, nothing was going to negate that." He chuckled, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear "I was so angry when I found it at work that morning, I think I ended up throwing a stapler at Stefan's head."

Content, I rested my head agasint the crook of his arm, my fingertips tracing feather soft shapes onto his torso "It'll be back on my arm by this evening. I promise."

He nodded his approval. "You make sure it is." We basked in the stillness of each other, the birdsong from the willow tree outside permeating the house. "Crap, I just remembered" he started with a faux tone of sincerity, snapping his fingers. "I have a whole pile of dry cleaning that needs to be done." Lightly slapping my ass twice, he smirked "Better get to it."

"Oh is that right?" I shot back, using momentum to flip us so I could sit astride Damon's hips. "Sorry, not my job anymore mister." I pulled his head up to meet my lips, letting him go, then pecking him once more for good measure.

"And thank God for that" Damon commented, a hint of awe in his eyes.

"You're going to be my wife one day you know." He stated, like he was simply telling me what we were having for dinner.

My head shot up, wondering if he was joking around. I was completely acquainted with the fact that it was far too early for us to be thinking about marriage yet, but I didn't completely hate the idea either. The fact that he was even considering it in some small recess of his mind showed that he was believing in me, in us, a little more all the time.

Laughing at my expression, Damon explained "I didn't mean right away. I'm fully aware we still have a crap load of stuff to work through." He cradled my cheeks between his warm hands "But one day we're going to be there. You know it's going to happen."

And yes, there was no doubt in my mind that he'd ever spoken truer words.

* * *

**A/N**- So that's the last real chapter of AEBY, I will be writing a shorter epilogue soon. I really can't thank you all enough for your support and for just simply reading what I try to pass off as writing! I just started a new story call _It Ain't Me Babe_ if you felt the need to check it out :)

Also, still kind of on a high after 4x08. _It's our time!_


	16. Chapter 16

**Epilogue-One Year Later**

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I was tired, I was cold and I could have had murdered some chili fries right about now. The line of people that had been stretching in front of my desk all day had finally dwindled to the last person and I beamed up at them as genuinely as someone with five hours of sleep under their belt could. As I scrawled my autograph on the back page of the final book to be slid under my nose, I raked a hand through my hair and checked the time on my watch.

Great, taking into account the time difference, it had just become way too late to fit in a call to Damon back in New York. Not that I expected him to answer anyway after the blow out we had this morning.

I still wasn't decided on who had been to blame this time. On one hand it wasn't exactly my fault that Damon's birthday happened to fall right smack in the middle of my first book tour. On the other, it was kinda, maybe, _slightly _my responsibility when I had forgotten to book plane tickets home until the last second during what appeared to be the day everyone in America suddenly felt the urge to fly.

Ergo, I ended up with no chance in hell of me getting a seat to be back in time for Damon's big Three-O and a disappointed boyfriend.

It wasn't that having the chance to tour the country promoting my first published book wasn't a dream come true and everything that I could have had ever hoped for; I still couldn't quite wrap my head around the fact that Valley Publishing had taken a chance on me and my manuscript. They were a reasonably small publishing company, but a perfect fit for everything that I wanted; with a family like touch to how they treated their clients. With their help, people who weren't family or friends actually read and enjoyed my work, people I'd never met knew my _name _now.

So while the last thing I felt was ungrateful, it didn't change the fact that I ached for Damon. I ached for home. I ached for my life back in New York. And I felt hideous that I would be missing his birthday after I promised I would make it.

The tour had been going for two months, and up until about three weeks ago we had managed to fly out to meet each other most weekends. Then shit got crazy for us on both ends and his birthday was supposed to have been our bright spot to look forward to.

In the bookstore where my signing had taken place a giant map of the continental US took up one wall, after waiting a few minutes while I tried to remember the state we were currently in, I etched my finger carefully along one route. An idea slowly forming, I bit my lip cautiously and caught the arm of my manager walking by "What would you say the drive time would be from Mississippi to New York?"

He shrugged, tapping something into his Blackberry "I don't know? About twenty hours non-stop."

It was doable. If I limited the bathroom and snack breaks and drove through the night, I could be sliding into our bed on the morning of Damon's thirtieth. "Adam? I'm going to still be taking those three days off that we discussed."

"I thought you couldn't get a flight?". He processed the conversation we had just discussed and chuckled "Oh, you're going to drive? Good luck with that." Sighing, he relented and nodded "Fine, just be in Dallas by Thursday."

I grinned, hightailing it out of there with the adrenaline high that goes with every last minute spontaneous decision. After much bargaining and cashing in of IOU's, I managed to wrangle a car for that time of night and was pushing the speed limit on the freeway within the hour.

Then I drove. And drove, and drove, and drove some more. Endless miles of grey asphalt passing below my wheels and a radio that spat out static for the majority of the journey. The scenery grew monotonous fast and I was shooting five-hour energies like they were going out of style.

During one of the few allowed gas station breaks, my phone blared out it's ringtone, startling the cashier and me in the process. I shook the gas pump, shut the tank and flipped the cell open. "Damon?" I questioned, surprised. It was far into the small hours of the morning and couldn't think of a single reason he'd be up.

"_Hey_" He replied sheepishly. "_I couldn't sleep."_

"Why?" I focused on a raccoon making it's way across the deserted road while I waited for his answer, figuring if it was anything important he wouldn't sound so calm.

There was a beat of silence. _"I didn't like how we left it yesterday morning_." He sounded slightly annoyed at himself for giving in _"And_ y_ou always spout that crap about how we can't go to bed mad at each other._"

I smirked, knowing this was his way of apologizing. "I love you too, Damon."

"_Well, it's kind of hard not to." _He teased, his voice considerably lighter. "_Look, I don't even really care that you couldn't make my birthday. I was just pissed because I miss you. But we'll figure something out soon._"

"Yeah, we will." I responded, no doubt in my mind that I was making the right choice finding my way home to him whatever the cost.

The gas station attendant finally looked up from his magazine and squinted his beady eyes, noticing what I was doing. "Hey lady!" he shouted. "No talking on cell phones around the pumps."

Damon went quiet on the other end of the line "_What was that_?" I could practically hear his mind catching up "_Wait, why are_ **you** _up so late?_"

Shit, if I didn't end this now he'd work out what I was planning. "Just some late night meetings. Uh, very late night. That was Adam calling me back to work. Gotta go!"

_"Elena! Don't you dare"_

Wincing, I hit the end button before he could ask more questions and work out I was lying. "Love you, bye!."

From there on out it was a straight shot home, the sunrise as I was pulling into the city something pretty magnificent to see. Finally putting the car into park outside the house, I rested my forehead on the wheel trying to regroup the last of my energy and got out of the door. I blissfully stretched out my legs and decided my suitcase could stay in the trunk until later when I could persuade Damon to take it inside.

Removing my heels, I slipped inside the front door, making sure the key made as little noise as possible in the lock and tiptoed upstairs in stockinged feet. The house was almost unrecognizable from when I first started working for Damon six years ago. Now the staircase wall was lined with photos of us, of us with friends and all the places we'd visited. And both of our tastes were represented in all rooms of the house, making it feel more like home than any other place i'd lived in before.

It had taken Damon six months to get me to move in with him. When he'd eventually asked, there hadn't even been a second of doubt in my mind that we were ready. Our relationship had grown into something indestructible, something safe and everything I loved. Of course we had our bumps in the road, our insecurities, old ghosts, but we beat them one at a time, together. He was my best friend as well as my boyfriend.

Sneaking the door to our master bedroom open, I wasn't completely prepared for the warmth and love that ripped through me at the sight of Damon laid out in bed. I mean, Jesus, it had only been three weeks and we talked everyday. But with his face completely relaxed in sleep and the contrast of his skin against the black sheets I could barely stand the few seconds it took me to cross the floor and reach him.

"Rise and shine" I prompted, gently running a thumb along his cheek bone. As he squirmed under the sheets, I lowered myself to lay down next to him and pulled my hair out of it's high ponytail.

His eyes blinked languidly open and much to my consternation the blue in them still had the power to make my breath hitch, a fact he was proudly aware of. "Elena?" He jolted, confused, and scrunched his eyebrows together, gradually coming back to full consciousness. Abruptly pushing himself up onto his forearms, he ran a hand over my bare arm, then my cheek, finishing up with his fingers weaving through my hair. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"You didn't really believe I'd miss your birthday now did you?" I smiled and leant forward for a kiss, letting him prolong it as much as possible because it had been_ far_ too long since our last one. "I drove through the night." I explained as we eventually broke apart, his thumb swiping my bottom lip.

Looking half elated, half furious, his face darkened and he reprimanded "Baby, you're so crazy". He moved forward so our foreheads rested together "I could not be more happy to see you, but next time you get one of these ideas in your head I'd prefer to know before you go on some solo road-trip through seven different states with no sleep."

I rolled my eyes and pretended to be suitably chastised "Duly noted, old man." Grinning at his aghast expression, I announced "Speaking of, Happy birthday Mr. Salvatore."

"Well, it is now." Damon implied, propping himself up against the pillows and gathering me against his chest. "Thanks for coming home, Elena" he breathed against the crown of my head, dropping a kiss on my hair.

"Couldn't stay away" I shrugged, inhaling his scent and taking pleasure in just_ being_ with him. "I see you've kept the place up to your usual cleaning standards" I noted, glancing skeptically around the room with an eyebrow arched. The dress I'd left hung over the back of a chair months ago hadn't been moved an inch and the ensuite bathroom was still cluttered with my flat iron and left behind cosmetics.

Damon cleared his throat self-consciously, a scarcity with him "Having your shit all over the place makes it feel like your still home."

Smiling, I pledged softly "I miss you too, Damon." I cut a look up at him from under my eyelashes "But after I go back, I only have two weeks left and then I'm all yours again."

"About time, Miss. famous author."

I laughed, causing his chest to shake and tangled my fingers through his "Says the world-class business magnate." Yawning, I pulled the comforter back over us "Birthday boys get a lie-in."

Resting better then I had for a while, we indulged in sleeping and making love all day. Only prying ourselves from the bed so I could give him his present and get ready for the birthday dinner he had planned before he knew I was coming back.

I was simultaneously whipping the cream for dessert and flicking strawberries across the island at Damon who was trying to catch them in his mouth, failing miserably along the way, when the first guest arrived. Wiping my hands on the hastily tied apron around my waist, I moved through the hallway, swinging opening the door.

"Elena!" Alaric called, looking pleasantly surprised with a brightly wrapped gift and a bottle of wine balanced in one hand. "I didn't think you were going to make it home." Caroline poked her head around his shoulder, blonde curls bouncing "Oh thank God you did, it means the night is still salvageable. You have no idea how boring this city is without you or how much Damon mopes when you're gone."

"It's great to see both of you too." I gave them each a warm hug and chose not to comment on them arriving at the same time. Lately, Alaric and Caroline had been appearing together more often then not. When I'd interrogated my usually open best friend about my suspicions, she remained cautiously silent and only shot a sly smile my way. So either they had something going on or they were bonding over their favorite past time of teasing Damon and I without mercy.

Directing the pair to the brightly lit kitchen, I barely had the time to shut the door before Stefan and Lydia made their way up the drive and inside. With Stefan's help the Salvatore company had blossomed even further, making the pair untouchable across the board. Damon and Stefan's relationship had finally repaired itself, maybe not to the full extent it was before Katherine, but they were brothers all the same. Katherine had never taken up Stefan's offer to create a relationship with her daughter, but Stefan had proved himself good enough as two parents put together time and time again.

Lastly, Bonnie who was still working tirelessly as Damon's PR manager and Alberto who came off-duty with his wife, arrived, and our bizarre, dysfunctional family all congregated in the kitchen to celebrate the birth of the man who, whether he wanted to admit it or not, was the glue that held us all together.

As soon as I stepped back into the kitchen, the whole room was a hubbub of laughter, talking and the clang of cooking utensils. Caroline sat on top of one of the counters, swinging her feet and chatting noisily over Bonnie's head to Alberto . Damon had Lydia on one hip and was feeding her cookies from the jar, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by her father who was currently trying to reach across and get his daughter back before she was fully corrupted by sugar.

"I don't know why we were subjected to cooking the dinner" Alaric grumbled from bending over to light the gas ring on the oven. 'We're supposed to be the guests."

Damon smirked, and before I had time to clap a hand over his mouth, he proudly stated "You can thank my wonderful girlfriend for that. Not my fault she kept me occupied. _All_ day long."

I pretended not to hear his comment or Caroline's loudly shouted _"Gross", _and went back to dicing onions before I got other ideas with what to do with the knife. After Alaric got all of the senior citizen jokes out of his system and Damon had stopped putting him in a headlock, we all settled into a routine of exchanging stories of days gone by while the dinner simmered in the background.

"-Anyway the next night, I made the moronic decision to go out with these idiots here" I indicated with my head towards Alaric and Damon and pulled my hair up into a top bun while I spoke. "I don't know what possessed me to think that hitting the Vegas strip with them would ever turn into anything but a disaster but _hey_, I was young and naive."

Alaric interrupted, groaned and ran a hand over his face "I don't think we need to tell this story. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas and all that?"

"Wait a second here" Stefan held a hand up, grinning "Let the lady finish her story."

"Why thank you, Stefan." I smiled pleasantly towards the younger Salvatore and continued as if I hadn't been disrupted, ignoring Alaric's protests. "You've got to remember this was like four years ago and Alaric was still going through that phase when he thought he looked good with frosted tips, hence he's a little sensitive about his knock-off Ryan Seacrest era." I smirked at Damon, wondering if he was going to chip in with one of his comments, but he was just watching me with a peculiar expression on his face.

"So it's like ten at night and these two must have been drinking every time my back was turned because they were _wasted. _I'm talking, _this is going to hurt for a week_ kind of drunk. Somehow I ended up following them into one of the casinos, I think it was the MGM Grand or something, and Damon's standing there trying to emphatically convince Alaric that he can count cards."

I waited for the image to soak into everyone's mind. "Well, first of all, they were no where near a blackjack table. They were standing in front of a slot machine and wondering why Damon's supposed card shark tricks weren't winning them anything. And for the cherry on top we all got kicked out and banned from the MGM for the rest of our lives because all the security guards in the vicinity overheard my einstein of a boss shouting about how he was going to pull the next Ocean's Eleven."

The assembly of our friends in the kitchen burst out laughing, with even Alaric begrudgingly joining in, and my eyes automatically searched out Damon's to see his response.

He was stood watching me laugh, his face filled with reverence and his hand motionless and frozen over the chopping board, mid slice.

"Damon?" I questioned, baffled as I grew serious. "You alright?"

"Marry me" he exhaled earnestly. "Just, _marry me_."

The rest of the room fell pin silent, everyone else stopped what they were doing and like laser beams, honed onto the two of us staring unblinkingly at each other from opposite sides of the marbled island. "Oh my God" Caroline managed to whisper, eyes wide, before Alaric placed a hand over her mouth.

My heart was beating so fast with absolute awe that I couldn't move or speak or _function_. Damon evidently took my non-reaction as meaning he had something to worry about. "Look, I know this was a on the spot decision and I should have brought the ring first and gotten down on one knee, but I've never wanted something for so long or so bad before. I couldn't look at you for one more second without asking you to spend the rest of your life with me."

Forgetting about everyone else but him and without having to think twice about it, I picked up a paper plate from a nearby stack and a bottle of mustard and took five seconds to complete my project. Soundlessly, I held up the plate to face him and fought the widest smile of my life.

Damon took a second to read the _Yes! _scrawled out in yellow condiment and had jumped over the counter and had me swinging in his arms before I could blink. "You just gave me the best present I will ever get."

I smiled and flung my arms around his neck, secretly knowing it was really me who was getting the best present I would ever receive.

So thats the story of how the girl who thought she had lost her future, took the chance, and ended up with everything she could ever want. And she owed it all to a glass of spilled red wine.

_**The End**_

* * *

**A/N**- There are no words to express my thanks to everyone who has read this story and made it the fic it is today. Thank you so much for taking the time to read it and stick with it. Also, I have some unanswered reviews on my last chapter that i'll absolutely still be responding to, but I wanted to get this last chapter out first.

So, I hope to see you all soon and fingers crossed for the show!


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